Being here in Hawaii is pretty different than the other trips I've been on here. Probably because for one, I came alone. Granted I'm staying with a friend, but heading out on my own was nice. It occurred to me that possibly coming by myself, just renting a place for a week, and going on every single hike possible would be pretty amazing.
I've found that when I'm in hawaii - maybe it's because i've been here frequently due to dad's side of the family being from here - i don't like any touristy stuff. At all. I'd be perfectly happy just sticking to spots that locals frequent - beaches, restaruants, hikes, etc. Any place that has a tourist feel or caters to tourists I'd much rather just avoid.
I think a part of losing myself here on this current trip is that i have this perception that there's really nothing back home for me right now. There is a good reason why i just up and left to go to hawaii. I needed something fresh. I needed a break. It's interesting how I can feel down about something in life, but in retrospect I look at those past troubles the same way I would look upon a teenager complaining about how their life sucks. It would seem that learning from different perspectives is true; even if that different perspective is your own.
I'm not trying to be melodramatic here; I think too often I "force" it, trying to be/seem thoughtful. It's like a poet sitting outside on a cold morning with a pipe in his mouth writing down lines that seem entirely too forced and obvious. I'd try to be "deep" or "intense". But when you're trying to be at a deepness level of 10 when you're emotionally stuck at a 5, everything you write or produce just comes out reading like a pre-teen diary entry.
It's just that when the world seems like never changes, that doens't necessarily mean that it's standing still. The world, and your life, can seem like it never changes while constantly moving. The world and everyone in it can be constantly moving around/past you, running in circles around you.
This trip was just relaxing on a different level. I don't know how else to put it.
