Tuesday, January 31, 2006

and now for a few things.

last night i had a series of three dreams. some weird, a couple cool.
dream #1) I went to a HUGE party a brendan's place. His parents went all out for this party: baseball diamond, pool tables,...they even bought like 200 lbs of snow and had it shipped over so we could have a snowball fight. We all ran around and had a good time, and ate, and drank beer, and it was awesome. There are other parts to this dream that made me happy too, but i'll save those details for later.

dream #2) so i was chilling at a friend's place..i dunno who it was...a generic friend. Anyways, it was a nice ass house, and they even had a maid. Anyways, the mom was hitting on me nonstop, and I was like WTF. Anyways, i kept telling her to leave me alone, and all of a sudden she came back wearing all white, and she hella lost it. She was like cussing me out and shit. All of a sudden, the maid drives her ghetto ass car into the living room, and gets out. The fucking car is covered in roosters and chickens and shit. She gets out and puts this big piece of paper over the trunk and starts writing this letter to her mom and dad about how she's gonna take the mom and the animals and move away to take care of the crazy mom. Turns out she's the mom's sister. While she's writing this letter, this cheesy ass music comes on like we're in a movie. The whole time i'm thinking, this is fucking stupid. Meanwhile, the roosters keep trying to get off the car, so i keep grabbing them and throwing them back on the car, but they try and scratch me with their claws, those fuckers.

dream #3) I was in japan, and I went to this bar to meet up with my brother and some of our friends. BTW, for some reason, in this dream, we're all like yakuza or something. Anyways, they're sitting in the back of this bar, and this particular bar has a bunch of benches lined up instead of chairs. So i step over people to get to the group, and this guy is sitting right next to the group, so i ask him to scoot over a little so i can sit next to my peoples. He looks at me and says in japanese "what?". So i say to him again, can you scoot over a little bit so i can get in? He smirks and rolls his eyes and does nothing. So then i realize what i have to do..which is knee him in the face, and punch him again and again and then throw him out of the bar. It was actually kind of fun. Then i sat down and we had a drink and watched some TV.

now for something completely different:

why is everyone making such a big fuss over this "million little pieces" book. So the guy lied. You think he's the first author ever to lie in his writing??? you think that every single non-fiction is the absolute truth??? FUCK NO. Futhermore, was it a good book? From what i've heard, it IS. So if it's a good book, who GIVES A SHIT. And why are giving a fucking author such a big bitch-slapping for lying when our fucking government, who has a much bigger impact on our daily lives than a single author, lies to our faces every day and no one criticizes them in the least? Jon Stewart said it's because he made people in our country read something when they didn't have to. hahaha.

People are stupid. I rest my case.

Friday, January 27, 2006

one more thing

Dating StrengthsDating Weaknesses
1. Sense of Humor - 85.7%
2. Kindness - 54.5%
3. Financial Situation - 53.8%
4. Generosity - 53.3%
5. Adventurousness - 50%
1. Appearance - 100%
2. Insecurity - 76.9%
3. Pessimism - 66.7%
4. Lack of Essentials - 58.3%


Dating Strengths Explained
Sense of Humor - Girls are attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Be sure to put yours on display!
Kindness - You treat other people with empathy and goodwill. This positive trait helps you stand out and draw people into your warmth.
Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid girls who are only interested in your money.
Generosity - You are a giving person by nature. Others will see this quality in you and recognize your kind nature. Take care not to let others take advantage of you.
Adventurousness - You are willing to try new things and be spontaneous. You want to get out there and really live, and you will attract people with a similar love of life.

Dating Weaknesses Explained
Appearance - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a girl's attention.
Insecurity - Your insecurity makes you doubt yourself, but you must learn to love and trust yourself if you want to succeed in dating.
Pessimism - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook.
Lack of Essentials - Dating is difficult for you because you lack certain key things, which may include private space, a car, money, or a nice wardrobe. Work toward obtaining these essentials!

Take This Dating Quiz


WTF! Lack of essentials????????? Man that's just cuz i clicked that my career is in standstill and i live with my parents!!!! BUT THAT'S CUZ I'M SCHOOL!!! I guess the rest is true. Unless you're a cute girl reading this. Then, it's all wrong because I HAVE NO WEAKNESSES, except for kryptonite, cilantro, and sadly, cilantro kryptonite.

lolz, i took this as a joke cuz everyone knows that self-reporting surveys and quizzes are all bullshit anyways.

aight. g'nite for reals.
oh boy it's friday morning. before i sleep tho, time for some writings

I have found that when i first wake up, if i eat something really cold (i.e. cold water) or a granny smith apple (sour), i will immediately get an upset stomach. Weird huh? Speaking of breakfasts, I think that breakfast foods should be moved to being served at night. How many times do you want waffles and pancakes and sausage and all that shit first thing in the morning? Okay, now often do you want all that shit at night? That's right. Night wins.

Has anyone reading this ever done the "bloody mary" thing where you go into the bathroom, keep the lights off, look directly into the mirror, and say "bloody mary" like 3 times or something like that? Old urban myth was that this bloody mary chick would pop out of the mirror and kill you. Hm. I personally can't do this because just looking at yourself in the mirror in the dark is pretty freaky. The problem is that since it's dark, all you can see if the outline of your head. Your brain will put in the facial features for you, and about 100 percent of the time, it's scary stuff. That's what freaks me out. Not so much the bloody mary thing. My plan is to have my wee-wee out while i'm doing it, fully armed with a full bladder. That way, if mary does decide to come out of the mirror and try and choke me, she'll have to do it while getting a fire hose-like stream of pee pee hitting her in the face. And monster or no monster, no one likes getting pee'd on. Well, some of you do, but that's not only gross, it usually costs you 35 dollars extra. lolz. I MADE A FUNNY! GOOD JOB STEVE!!!!

my friends and I all had a discussion the other day comparing our three towns (Japan town, China town, and K(orea) town). Actually it was more like I was comparing them, and they all listened. I would give you details, but i dont need to. Japan town won. I will say that China town is the only place to buy some herbage (the ancient kung fu kind, not the munchies stare at the wall kind), and you can also get some hella good food. And in k-town, you can smoke wherever you want, and you can get hooked up with both a mean bowl of bimbimbap and a nice big fight. And since I'm totally unbiased, impartial, and otherwise perfect, that is the correct answer. Thank you for coming. I'll be here all week.

Since I brought up the whole are you turned on by pee thing, i might as well bring up another interesting sex thing. Anal sex. Seems gross to me. But that's not my point. What my point is, is who was the first guy to try this? Like WHAT guy, was so tired of the "correct" opening, that he decided to be aventurous like a perverted Indiana Jones? And how did that train of thought go? "Hmm..where else can i...oh yeah! the BUTT". Or maybe he did it on accident, and the GIRL was the one who discovered it. "HEY WRONG HOLE...or..wait...MAYBE NOT. YOW." Anyways, to me, that is an out hole, and poop comes out of it. That's all that needs to be said. No offense to those of you who dig it, cuz there are a lot worse things that people are into in the bedroom. Like SNUGGLING! *shudder* LOLZ! ANOTHER FUNNY. HOLY SHIT JUST CALL ME THE HUMAN JOKE FACTORY!!!!!

And now on to bigger and better things!!

like sleep.

nite!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

oh boy wednesday.

I'm up early, aren't I? That's cuz in 2.5 hours, i'm going to be getting beat down and fucked up by the test known as the GRE. Am i ready? no. Is it gonna be hard? Yes. Do i care? Yes and no. I wanna get at least a 40 percent so i dont look entirely stupid. But the thing is, they dont care what my score is. So that makes it really hard to care, especially when my mind is more on my thesis project.

If i eat something cold first thing when i wake up, I get a stomach ache. But then it goes away in a few minutes.

I had a nightmare last night that i was stuck in a building where everyone was turning into zombies and chasing after me. The worst part of the dream is that my friends and family were turning into zombies too, so i had to attack them. Actually i think the worst part of the dream was watching a bunch of people run out into the sunlight where they were safe while i couldn't reach the window to get outside so i was stuck inside. Bad. But then last night i had a dream i went to a japanese restaurant with some family and i got the "cakeless cake", which was just a big ass bowl of chocolate frosting. It was good.

Back on the exercise plan. Jump rope. Running. Etc. Same goals as all the other times.

Probably hit up hockey game for bryant tonight. I better see some goals, and i better see some fights.

Sometimes, and usually, it's better to keep your mouth shut.

I need to make my bed, and i need to stop sleeping so much.

It doesn't bother me this time. Is that okay? I dunno.

I don't feel much inside anymore. It's very weird.

btw, none of these thoughts are connected with one another.

k back to the studying. have a good day peoples.

Monday, January 23, 2006

"cliches"

oh it doesnt matter how warm it gets inside this heart of mine when you take the time to smile in my direction. It doesn't matter how sweaty my palms for no other reason than you're around me. I'm not gonna sit here and put all these cliche romantic reactions connected to small things that you do down on paper because that's old and used.

I wish i could say that I understand love a little better from the road i've ran on. I wish I could tell you that i'm a better man because i've been there, and i've done that. But would it be too cliche to say that when I see you, or when i try and picture how to tell you about how you make me feel, all that so-called experience just flies out the door?

I guess so.

Too many cliches, and too many interpreted emotions i'm feeling. I can barely understand these" butterflies in my stomach" that make me "melt when i see your beautiful eyes that i can lose myself in". Or how my "heart skips a beat" when I see your smile that could "chase all my clouds away" and "light up a room". How I think about all the time that I wish we could be "more than friends" because there's something about you that just puts me "on cloud nine".

Oh I like you. I do. I like you like the way a kid likes ice cream. or presents. they like it because they like it. I dont need to give you a reason. Certainly not one that has been said before.

right. that's a cliche too.

too many damn set romantic cliches that cloud my mind that i can't even try to express how i'm feeling. Halfway between here and there, i'm trying to fit this unique shape of thoughts into phrases and analogies and similies that are all too "one size fits all".

The very fact that i'm sitting here trying to create an existance of a relationship in my mental boundaries, runnign through all these lines that have been said over and over again is a cliche.
The very state i'm in...trying to push something that hasn't happened on its own, that should happen on its own...that's a cliche.

maybe i dont need to say words, write you letters abot taking this friendsihp to the next level. Maybe i dont need to sit here and contemplate what our first, or third, or ninth date will be like. Maybe i dont need any of that. because it's all cliche.

maybe you'll just see how i am, and figure it out on your own. cuz true love never needed to be pushed or shoved.

i would say that i would take all the "i love yous" and romantic things and all the stuff that i love about you and whisper it into the night sky and hope that you somehow hear it. but that's cliche. You may say, well there's nothing that you can do or say or feel that hasn't been done yet.

well. i wont know, and you won't know, until we're in that moment. right?
- - -

i wrote this in 4 minutes. it needs some serious reediting and a better ending. at least it's something tho. i haven't written anything in a long long time. Guess my muse went on a vacation.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Pics.

Xmas party

So there was the annual xmas party at the horiuchi's on the 29th of dec. Sweet deal. I specifically told people not to buy me gifts, but the kind hearted bastards did anyways. The food was bomb as usual. Mr. H cooked up some shrimp scampi, some bbq'd steak, cream puffs, salad, green beans, brownies. Shit was good. A lot of people showed up. I had a great time, and I'm sure everyone else did because I was there. YAH KNOW? LOL.


I dunno what's funnier: Jon's expression of sarcastic delight, or Tony's face of confused disgust.


Guess he liked what he got. Notice that Jon's eyes are closed. That means he's savoring the moment. That also means he's a little too comfortable in Tony's arms. That means he likes the wee-wee. lolz.


oh boy! (I received Super System 2 from Brendan. Awesome gift. He in turn, received my friendship, which was a far better gift, and for which he still owes. Oh. He owes.)


Emo pic. Check out my angst yo.


Marcy Vs. Tony. Damn does she have a mean right hook. Anyone who says "oh s/he fights like a girl" has never fought Marcy. She will destroy you. Seconds after this picture was taken, Tony, in all of his k-rage glory was crying in the corner like a little bitch. Like a little baby bitch he cried. J/K.


Group pic. (BTW, those are Brendan's cousins. Tony and Shan dont have their own kids. I think.)

Monday, January 9, 2006

we often believe that life's best moments are those without cracks. Smoothed out to perfection. But the truth is that the moments in life that are cracked and flawed, the moments that do not come through easily, are the most beautiful.

live it up yo. Cuz that's the only way to do it.

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

i'm still working on my recap of 2006, so chills. it's coming.

words. mastering the use of them in order to express a certain complex emotion is so difficult that very few people are able to accomplish it. especially when it comes to a poem, or a love letter. However, the more extreme the emotion, the easier it becomes. I am not saying that I have accomplished a level of "word usage" that is profound and deep, because I haven't. I'm sure everyone who read this blog knows and realizes that i write only for recreation, that most of what i write is pseudo-rubbish.

Still, that doesn't mean that i can't criticize. Today a read a love poem on someone's xanga. It made me sad. LOL. First off, of course it's all subjective, right? I mean a love poem simply needs to express love, and it's done it's job. However, i dont like cliches...i've NEVER liked them. I feel like if what you feel is unique, then you should have a unique way to express it. Add to that the feeling that i've felt as of late that all too often we offer words when we are in love that cookie cutter expressions that we've told another person at another time. There's only one phrase that i feel can be used time and time again [i love you]. All the other ones should be put away in the box with the rest of the pictures and momentos of the past relationship and saved only for pleasant memories.

you might argue that i'm jealous. But believe me, i'm not. It would be great to have someone in my life right now, but i'm not dying because of it. So much of life is passing me by, and it's important that I learn and appreciate as much of it as I can. Whether i'm driving by myself, or if i have someone great in the passenger seat, I'm still gonna enjoy the scenery.

In fact, I think in terms of love and relationships, it's definitely become more of a calm positive. I dont know what's going to happen, or who i'm gonna be with, but I know for a fact that it's going to be a new experience, and definitely worth the wait. Extreme anticipation leads only to disappointment on your part and restraining orders on their part. =P

I will give a little rant here tho. Are you in love? good. Everyone here and their mom is happy for you. Applause and props. You win first prize, and we all really wanted to see you make it happen like the guy/girl in the rated PG movie. Now. shut up. yes. stop proclaiming your love for your love. It's a personal thing. It's like religion. Keep it personal. dont put it up in all of our faces. Dont get me wrong. We're happy that you're happy, but we dont need a constant update of your happiness. If I had a chocolate cake, and you were chewing on a rock, and you asked me "how is it?". If i said, "it's good!". i'm sure you would be like "good!". But if i constantly gave you an update on how good the chocolate cake was, how delicious it is, and how wonderful it tasted. How it was the best chocolate cake ever, and how it made me feel. Whether or not you were enjoying your rock or not, I think at some point you would say to yourself.."dude. i dont care. I'm happy your happy, but shut it. I'm trying to work on this rock here".

aight. I had more to say, but i'll leave it at that, cuz it's getting damn late. I need to wake up early, go to the gym, and see about getting a new cell phone to replace the one i lost.

I lost my phone at the club on new years, and no one turned it in. At first I was pretty bummed out about it, but then i thought why let one little thing ruin my whole new years eve experience. I had a great fucking time, dancing and drinking with friends that i haven't seen in a long time. Plus, this taught me a few lessons. dont go clubbing with my phone, dont dance with my phone in my pocket, and a phone will easily fall out of khaki pants as opposed to jeans.

There's ALWAYS some good in every bad. But really, there's not so much "good" and "bad", but just some kind of outcome from an action. Where you are, what you feel, is exactly what you should be or where you should be. And if you take good and bad out of that, then you realize that it's up to you of what to make of it.

nite peoples.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

i had a dream last night that I was on a show where mc hammer, vanilla ice, and alf did a rap song together. IT was fucking random, but hella catchy. I tell yah tho, if it wasn't for hammer, the song would have sucked.

then i had another dream where i missed a turn on the freeway and ended up in texas, and then ended up at my bosses house. There, i told him that i couldn't turn in my report because i had to go to drive someone somewhere. Instead, he decided to go to the local church to see a presentation on prostitues. For some reason, my parents and my brother ran into my boss on his way out, and they got suckered into going with him because they wanted to be nice to him since he was my boss at the time. So i went back to the house to switch cars, and then i got suckered into taking care of his kids while they were gone, but the guy who was there already taking care of them was this psycho guy who had telekinetic powers, and he kept throwing things at me. So i finally found my way outside, and i found the old nanny, and he was sad cuz he knew the guy was a psycho but no one believed him. Then it fastforwarded four months, where i got to see the two guys fighting for the responsibility of being the kid's nanny. They competed in squirrel racing, growing vegetables, and etc. it was a story of heart and determination. On the way home, i found out my parents had a cigarette thrown in the car, so it was filled with smoke, so i had to leave the door open while were driving ot get the smoke out I tried to get the side windows open, but they almost fell off, so i tried to put the covering back on which was made out of a part of madonna's old jacket.

okay i'm gonna stop short, cuz it's getting too random. that dream right there has to be THE MOST RANDOM FUCKING DREAM I'VE EVER HAD.

BTW, dont call my phone cuz i lost it at a club and i'm trying to get a new one right now.