Yesterday was Jon's bday. We had a pie potluck. There was so much food, and WAY too many pies. Seriously there was like 12 pies. It will never be finished, and Jon will keep them until they are unfit to eat and will still eat them. That is how Jon rolls. Whoever created the phrase, "waste not, want not" would be extremely proud of Jon. Anyways, there was a good number of people who showed up, and there was some good conversation. Unfortunately, it was on a weeknight, so a lot of people left early because they needed to sleep. I left last. I got less than 5 hours of sleep and nearly fell asleep at my morning meeting. Because that's how you do it when you're young. You sleep little, live hard by falling asleep at meetings, and eat a lot of pie. Do work, son.

I am happy right now because the project i'm working on at work finally did not fail in it's installation, and now I get to sit here for three hours to document it and see how long it takes to install. Wheeeee.

Thanks Mr. and Mrs. H for the belated bday present. They got me this thing from sharper image that sucks the extra air out of a bottle of unfinished wine, so it'll keep longer. This is the perfect gift considering I just bought 3 bottles of the wine that i had been looking for. There is ONE store that carries it and I was ecstatic to find out that they still had some (the winery that produced it had run out). I was going to buy 10 bottles of it, but I figured that was kind of a lot. I think I may go back to buy one more tho, because I think four is enough.

anyways, it's only wednesday and i really wish it was friday. Oh wells.

oh boy! time for a relationship rant. Lately i've been noticing a bunch of different things around me, and while all of them are different, I'm going to smash them all together into one rant. ready??? =D

I don't get it. I really don't. I understand that love, or what you think is love, is strong. and blind, and deaf, and dumb. But how is it that love, or what wanting of it, or the paranoia of being alone, can make you lose all respect for yourself? I see so many people where they either keep getting back with someone who disrespects them, or is so LOCKED on someone who clearly is not good for them that it's mind numbing. There are so many people out there..so many people who can make you happy in different ways...why get stuck on one person? and even worse than that, if you've given someone a chance, and they failed in a not so nice way, why would you go back to them? why would you consider going back them? Why would you think you're not good enough to say "you know what? all the old fucking cliches ARE true. It IS your loss, and I DO deserve someone better".

You know, it's so easy to say that it's too hard. It's so easy to stick with what you know, with what you're comfortable with. It's so easy. I read a xanga where the author had gotten into a fight with their significant other, and had said how they had been together for so long that the spark had gone out. "where was the fun?", they asked. "I thought relationships were supposed to fun and wonderful". They then went on to say that it they were taking each other for granted. They then said, that it didn't matter because a week from now, they would just end up apologizing to each other, and the cycle would continue. They ended it with saying that they would just end up getting married eventually. All i'm going to say is: Wow. It's so easy to stick with what you know. But all you need to do is step back. Yes, I KNOW IT'S CLICHE, but you have to learn. and i'm not talking about stepping back as in "you know, I think I should date again" or "I need to find someone better". I mean in terms of your life. It takes a long time..it took me YEARS to learn how, and I'm not that good at it. It's so hard to explain in written word...but you have to learn how to step back and look at yourself and see why you're doing the things you do.

I don't think it's bad to fall in love with someone. love them. LOVE THEM UNTIL YOUR FACE HURTS. But godDAMMIT...you should NEVER NEED someone. Love and necessity are two different things. Love and fear of being alone are two different things. Do you know what true love is? I probably don't, but I think the best thing I learned about it was that true love helps you understand yourself better. It helps you appreciate yourself. It helps you love yourself. Okay this shit is getting way too complicated. At this point, this entry would be like 40 pages. My point is...I guess I just don't understand. I don't understand how people can get stuck on someone who clearly is not right/not good/not helping for them. That is not love. That is infatuation.

Now, what kind of psycho analyst and student of human nature would I be if I didn't turn the microscope on myself. I do think that the reason why I dislike it...is because I've been there..i was super infatuated, I couldn't let go...all of that. And I hated who I was when I acted like that. Those things I labeled as "weak", and I have a thing with being walked all over and being seen as "weak". That's one of my insecurities. The truth is when I see people acting like that, it reminds me of who I used to be, and I guess I just can't stand it. Because while I truly believe I've grown up, there's always the fear that I might be like again (very unlikely), and I would seriously kick myself in the balls like 20 times.

DAMN DUDE.

Cal has a bye week. Hopefully Longshore's ankle will heal up good for Oregon State. The game last week against Oregon was awesome. The last play where Ezeff hit the Oregon player for a touchback was a fucking OMG moment. But it all worked out. I definitely like Oregon's fast style -I'll definitely be watching them play Washington State this coming weekend. And of course the Cal game.

UCLA loses to Notre Racist Dame, who was 0-5. UCLA is a weird team this season. They win, the they lose to Utah, then win again, then lose to ND. I really wanted ND to have a no win season. Damn.

LSU barely beats Florida (That was a good game!). Sucks. If Florida had won, I think Cal would have moved up to No. 1. That would have been crazy. I think the last time was up that high was in the 50's. (Note: Yup, I just checked...1951 to be exact).

Stanford beats USC. WTF!!! NO WAY. Stanford was a FORTY-ONE point underdog! I really thought that Stanford was going to get their asses kicked, especially after the comments that the coach said about Carroll. I seriously could NOT BELIEVE this. Nuts. Nuts. I dislike both teams, but man..I seriously thought USC was going to chop some trees and head back home. I mean dude, USC had a 35 game winning streak. And the craziest part is the QB for Stanford...well, that was his FIRST game because he was the backup QB!!!! I wonder if he'll get the starting job now. Now the question is if Stanford keeps the streak up or goes back to their shitty ways.

Man, this is why I love football, and this is why I love college ball. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

Everyday at lunch I go to cnn's webpage and read the news, watch news videos. Here's two that I thought were pretty funny.

First, there's this school in New Hampshire. Their senior shirt has "High school seniors" on the front, with the word "High" being larger than the other words, but not by too much. On the back, there's an 08 with a paw print (their mascot is an animal), and it says "pushing the limit". The placement of the paw print make it look like .08, which is the legal limit a person's blood alcohol level if you're under 21. In the interview, several students said they didn't agree with it, so they wore their shirts inside out. They said the .08 and the fact that the word "high" is larger than the rest of the words isn't cool. Their faces weren't shown because they'd probably get their asses beat at school. Then a parent of a student said she complained, but the school said they wouldn't ban the shirts. She said that they should have apologized, admitted that they made a mistake, and done something about it.

DUDE. WHO CARES. IT'S A FUCKING SHIRT. I'm sorry, but this story is pretty damn funny to me. Probably because a good friend of mine designed his school's senior shirt, and hid "fuck [name of school]" and "DoMaiMe" in pager code on the shirt. It's not that big of a deal. Cuz see, here's the thing. If a shirt is all it takes to make your kid become an alkie, that's pretty fucking sad. Likewise, if the kid is drinking already, I don't a fucking shirt is going to make a difference. There are a bunch of reasons why people drink underage, and a fucking SHIRT ain't it.

Second story I saw was about this kid who, as a joke, ran for homecoming queen. He said he's a goofball and didn't expect to win. But he did, by 21 votes. That's fucking hilarious. But then this old broad who was homecoming queen 20 years ago is interviewed, and she says, "this is a total humilatio on the school district". However, the girl who ran against dude for the homecoming queen title said"can't get mad about it, people voted for it! It is what it is."

MAN. Okay, again, this is pretty funny to me because I don't get it when people are more into their high school than their college. I would think that most people are more into their college years, when you learn about life and growing up and shit, rather than high school, where you live at home, take SATs, and worry about getting into college. I don't get it. When I go to SD, and I walk on campus, I get a serious sense of nostalgia. As for high school, I haven't visited my high school since I GRADUATED from there.

And the second point. You see how the old bitch acted, and then how the young girl acted? I swear, old, stuck up people are the reason why the country is fucked up the way it is. It's the younger generation who keeps it real.

Both these stories also show why I'm never leaving california. When stories like that make the major news, then WOW.

Sorry, boring post.

omfg. it's one of those weeks. Yesterday I worked 13 hours. Today I'm working 11. That is how this week is going. Looks to be one of those 50-60 hour workweeks. Awesome. Well at least we get free food. Nope! Okay at least we get free coffee. Nope! Well, at least we have a xmas party at the end of the year. NOPE!

Actually I'm kind of glad that there isn't an xmas party. It would be like a prom situation all over again, and no one wants that. But seriously, that would mean free food and free alcohol. Rats.

Well, I'll use this 30 minutes I have of free time inbetween testings to blog a little.

What was on my list...shit. Okay I forgot what "college people" was about, so we'll scrap that. Sneak girls....sneaky...girls...ohhhh right. So you know, I know it's easier for guys to fall for the feminine wiles of an attractive girl, but I think it's crazy how easily girls can make a guy do things. And what I mean by that is I'm extremely impressed. I mean, it's crazy to me how a large population (girls) as a whole have collectively learned this art, so to speak. Girls know exactly when/how/where/what to do to make us guys do things. Seriously, it's both impressive (on their part) and sad (on our part). Body movements, facial expressions, certain movements, certain words, tone of words, EVERYTHING. It's their secret weapon and it works every single time. The epitome of this in its rawest form would be the exotic dancer. I'll follow that point up with a story of the first time I went to a strip club (don't have time to write about it now). So yes, my hat goes off to you ladies. We men are suckers, but nevertheless, that takes away nothing from your skills. I am both impressed and dumbfounded at the same time. Bravo.

What sucks is we have nothing to counter it. We have no countermeasures to your torpedoes. Seriously. Maybe if we had some sort of "masculine wiles" that would affect you, we could stand there and say "Fight on!". But no. Instead we see the torpedo coming and we say "Guess we're gonna get hit.." And the funny thing bout that is we're HAPPY about it. Oh wells. That's life.

What else has been going on...nothing much.

In more uninteresting news, I located the wine that I bought last winter that I drank and enjoyed much more than the 160 bottle that I drank in vegas. I'm not sure how much this store has, but I'm going to buy probably 3 more bottles. Apparently it was a very good year. One bottle will be drank whenevers, the second will be saved for a special occassion, and the third will be kept for a long time, and drank on an extremely special occassion (or, much like my comic books, will be passed on to my kids, and it will make them rich...I think).

Damn..didn't get my potentially emo stuff. oh wells, that will have to wait till laters.