A funny post before the serious one.
Okay, fact. I still don't know how to dress. I'm not sure what looks good on me. It's hard to me to put outfits together. I wear the same shit all too often. It doesn't help that I'm overweight, so shit doesn't look as good on me.
However, I do know what does NOT look good on me. Orange. Hats. Thick black rim glasses. Cardigans. Pink windbreakers. These items emphasis the ugly parts of me. Well, except for orange. I dunno why, but orange just DON'T GO. I tried on an orange shirt one time and it seriously took all my willpower to keep from my punching my face and the mirror at the same time.
Japanese are definitely not the African-Americans of the Asian world. Unless maybe you're one of those Japanese who are dark (I.e. Wes Abe). But nah, Filipinos are the blacks of the Asian culture. How do i know this? Because Filipinos can wear anything. And it's in their blood. Filipinos love shoes, vneck sweaters, graphic tees, and layering. They also like DJing, dancing in dance crews, and singing "Lately" by Jodeci. (For more information, please contact your local Filipino and/or a Mr. Jason Daco)
With the shitball economy, I would have expected some of the higher end stores that I like to check out to drop all the prices on their clothes. But NAH. Still expensive. wtf. But I heard on the radio that the retail market is gonna drop for at least another 6 months. And maybe even beyond that. Shoot. I'm cool with that! However, i know the bottom has finally fallen out the day I own something from Louis Vuitton. That will BE THE DAY.
Note to self: Get into wedding cake business or women's shoes. Check it out. The average cost of a wedding cake is HUNDREDS. People pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for wedding cakes! And what makes a good wedding cake. The taste. But what makes for good taste? Good ingredients. Right, but let's be real real. All you gotta do to make a good cake it put in more of the bad-for-you stuff. More eggs. More cream. More sugar. Shiet. I can do that! I go to cake school for like a year or two. Then I start selling wedding cakes, then I buy a solid gold ferrari with a phone booth on top (JUST CUZ) and retire.
And women's shoes. My friend told me bout this pair of shoes she saw that she really likes. Price tag? 1400. Yup. one thousand. four hundred. dollars. The amount of material that is used in expensive women's shoes is like next to nothing. And yet women will pay this money (and more) for shoes like Jimmy Choo's and such. Damn. I don't know shit about women's fashion, women's shoes, etc. but I know a good business plan when I see it! Step 1) Make 10 shoes. Step 2) Spread the word that they're hella limited and only 10 were made. Step 3) Price each shoe at 10k Step 4) sell all shoes. Step 5) release 50 more collections in the same way Step 6) Buy solid gold ferrari with a hot tub on the roof Step 7) Retire and reenact rap videos every day (just the part where they chill by the pool with homies while sipping Cristal and wearing furs, all while while hot girls dance on the diving board looking extremely bored)
I'm gonna combine the two. I'll make wedding cakes that have shoes as cake decorations. It'll be a brides wet dream come true. and I'll be rich and finally able to achieve my personal goal of baking myself into a giant jello mold and seeing if I can eat my way free. It'll be like James and the Giant Peach except way cooler and with a lot more violence, cussing, and of course, exploding confetti dogs.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Twitter sucks.
Let's have some full disclosure here first. I actually have a twitter account. I use it maybe once every 3 weeks. It offers no enjoyment whatsoever, and it's like the retarded socially inept second cousin of email, facebook, and friendster.
Twitter is stupid.
Why? Let me count the ways! Come along for the ride!
1) THE INTERFACE SUCKS ASS. In this society of endless technological advances and art and shit like that, I would have expected the "next step in social networking sites" to be a bit more...cool? You're also talking to a guy who's career revolves around usability, user experience, etc. When I first saw Twitter, my thought was "That's it?". The interface is mostly text based except for your "avatar". It's boring. I don't know how else to put it. I mean seriously, can't you come up with a more original or unique idea? Can't there be a way to strengthen connections rather than weaken them?
2) GLORIFIED MESSAGE BOARD. Okay, you could say the same thing for other social networking sites, but at least there you can put more personalized content on your pages. And more importantly, you can be more direct with your words and messages. On Twitter you just add "@friend1" and that's it. ZZZ.
3) I JUST DON'T GET IT??
Okay, now for the big stuff. You all know these past two arguments of mine:
-The internet is killing the actual connection people should be having
-People are using the internet in order to feel better about themselves. They throw their cares and worries out into the internet because people are then forced to hear about it. This makes people feel better, and can also lead those people's friends to inquire about what's wrong.
Yes, i admit there is a sour taste of hypocrisy, but I stand by it. Anyways, take those two arguments and put them together and that's how I feel about Twitter. You're basically coming up with the most cut down, lean thoughts of the most simplistic actions in your daily life and putting it out there. But why? And more importantly, WHO CARES. I mean, if you write something funny, or you ask a question, that's one thing. But if you simply type "I'm waiting in line at the post office!" or "I like oranges!". Okay, imagine these phrases said in real life -- they are dead end comments! Observe:
Ring
person 1: Hello?
person 2: Hi!
1: What you up to?
2: I'm waiting in line at the post office!
1: Okay. What for?
2: Man it's taking a long time!!! Grrr!
1: I see.
2: OMFG. I FINALLY got my package sent off. WTF. That was like AT LEAST four hours!!
1: I'm going to do something more productive. Like take a shit or bang my head against the wall.
2: I like oranges! Boo they're sold out at the store. =*(
So basically rather than meeting up and fostering specific friendship connections, you're throwing random thoughts out into the internet to your friends and random people you may know a little. In addition, you're picking out the simpliest thoughts to put out there.
4) NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE. Okay let's be real real here. People want to be entertained. Put up some cool pictures, write a good story, etc - people like that. People dig that. But take this blog for example. If I write a funny story, I'm assuming people will get a kick out of that. If I put a rant that people can either say "word I feel you there" or "fuck you you're wrong!" then I feel like it'll add to some mental stimulation. But if I write some kind of emo cryptic bullshit like I did a few days ago, do you think anyone cares? People might say "oh what's wrong" but did it add anything to the enjoyment of their lives or the existence of our friendship? NAY. I'm not saying that your friends don't care about each other's lives, but when you throw mundane stuff at them, it's kind of like "okkkaaayyy". Imagine if entire conversations in person were done through twitter like interactions. I'd want to test to see how far I could swallow a hand grenade before it blew up.
My belief, though I stray from it sometimes, is that if you're going to put shit out on the internet - make it funny or make it interesting. I mean, shoot, if you're going to twitter, put stuff that no one should know. (i.e. "Taking a shit right now. Courtesy flushes are in full effect because I ate too much beans and red meat. You smell me? Hopefully not! lol"). And the other thing is if you are going to come up with something interesting to say on Twitter, don't you want to expand on it? Don't you want to put all your thoughts about it on there? Why would you just cut it off with one or two thoughts?
5) YOU SHOULD MEET UP WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. A lost art indeed. Everybody is too busy with their personal shit on the internet that no one has time to meet up anymore (as I type on my blog)
6) YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR FRIENDS ON THE PHONE. Okay, now I know I'm asking too much.
7) And finally, TWITTER SOUNDS DIRTY. Twitter sounds like a slang term for talking about someone's gens. Maybe because it's too close to twat. Or maybe because it makes me think of that thing you use to tickle your sig. other when you're having sex. I dunno. But for whatever reason, Twitter sounds dirty. They should come up with a better name for it, like "Pointless Text Messages".
OF COURSE, with so many people getting their TWIT on, I mean no disrespect to those friends of mine that like to TWIT AND TWAT their TWEETS all over their friends faces.
No but being serious, to my friends who have twitter, it's all love, and keep twitting because it's all gravy. But seriously. Call me up sometime. Because when someone asks me, "have you talked to so and so lately? What have they been up to?" I don't want to reply "No I haven't, but yesterday they forgot their umbrella and so they got wet. tee hee"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fprofile.php%3Fid%3D615744746%26ref%3Dfrmf&feature=player_embedded
Twitter is stupid.
Why? Let me count the ways! Come along for the ride!
1) THE INTERFACE SUCKS ASS. In this society of endless technological advances and art and shit like that, I would have expected the "next step in social networking sites" to be a bit more...cool? You're also talking to a guy who's career revolves around usability, user experience, etc. When I first saw Twitter, my thought was "That's it?". The interface is mostly text based except for your "avatar". It's boring. I don't know how else to put it. I mean seriously, can't you come up with a more original or unique idea? Can't there be a way to strengthen connections rather than weaken them?
2) GLORIFIED MESSAGE BOARD. Okay, you could say the same thing for other social networking sites, but at least there you can put more personalized content on your pages. And more importantly, you can be more direct with your words and messages. On Twitter you just add "@friend1" and that's it. ZZZ.
3) I JUST DON'T GET IT??
Okay, now for the big stuff. You all know these past two arguments of mine:
-The internet is killing the actual connection people should be having
-People are using the internet in order to feel better about themselves. They throw their cares and worries out into the internet because people are then forced to hear about it. This makes people feel better, and can also lead those people's friends to inquire about what's wrong.
Yes, i admit there is a sour taste of hypocrisy, but I stand by it. Anyways, take those two arguments and put them together and that's how I feel about Twitter. You're basically coming up with the most cut down, lean thoughts of the most simplistic actions in your daily life and putting it out there. But why? And more importantly, WHO CARES. I mean, if you write something funny, or you ask a question, that's one thing. But if you simply type "I'm waiting in line at the post office!" or "I like oranges!". Okay, imagine these phrases said in real life -- they are dead end comments! Observe:
Ring
person 1: Hello?
person 2: Hi!
1: What you up to?
2: I'm waiting in line at the post office!
1: Okay. What for?
2: Man it's taking a long time!!! Grrr!
1: I see.
2: OMFG. I FINALLY got my package sent off. WTF. That was like AT LEAST four hours!!
1: I'm going to do something more productive. Like take a shit or bang my head against the wall.
2: I like oranges! Boo they're sold out at the store. =*(
So basically rather than meeting up and fostering specific friendship connections, you're throwing random thoughts out into the internet to your friends and random people you may know a little. In addition, you're picking out the simpliest thoughts to put out there.
4) NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE. Okay let's be real real here. People want to be entertained. Put up some cool pictures, write a good story, etc - people like that. People dig that. But take this blog for example. If I write a funny story, I'm assuming people will get a kick out of that. If I put a rant that people can either say "word I feel you there" or "fuck you you're wrong!" then I feel like it'll add to some mental stimulation. But if I write some kind of emo cryptic bullshit like I did a few days ago, do you think anyone cares? People might say "oh what's wrong" but did it add anything to the enjoyment of their lives or the existence of our friendship? NAY. I'm not saying that your friends don't care about each other's lives, but when you throw mundane stuff at them, it's kind of like "okkkaaayyy". Imagine if entire conversations in person were done through twitter like interactions. I'd want to test to see how far I could swallow a hand grenade before it blew up.
My belief, though I stray from it sometimes, is that if you're going to put shit out on the internet - make it funny or make it interesting. I mean, shoot, if you're going to twitter, put stuff that no one should know. (i.e. "Taking a shit right now. Courtesy flushes are in full effect because I ate too much beans and red meat. You smell me? Hopefully not! lol"). And the other thing is if you are going to come up with something interesting to say on Twitter, don't you want to expand on it? Don't you want to put all your thoughts about it on there? Why would you just cut it off with one or two thoughts?
5) YOU SHOULD MEET UP WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. A lost art indeed. Everybody is too busy with their personal shit on the internet that no one has time to meet up anymore (as I type on my blog)
6) YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR FRIENDS ON THE PHONE. Okay, now I know I'm asking too much.
7) And finally, TWITTER SOUNDS DIRTY. Twitter sounds like a slang term for talking about someone's gens. Maybe because it's too close to twat. Or maybe because it makes me think of that thing you use to tickle your sig. other when you're having sex. I dunno. But for whatever reason, Twitter sounds dirty. They should come up with a better name for it, like "Pointless Text Messages".
OF COURSE, with so many people getting their TWIT on, I mean no disrespect to those friends of mine that like to TWIT AND TWAT their TWEETS all over their friends faces.
No but being serious, to my friends who have twitter, it's all love, and keep twitting because it's all gravy. But seriously. Call me up sometime. Because when someone asks me, "have you talked to so and so lately? What have they been up to?" I don't want to reply "No I haven't, but yesterday they forgot their umbrella and so they got wet. tee hee"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fprofile.php%3Fid%3D615744746%26ref%3Dfrmf&feature=player_embedded
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