k I know I talk about it a lot, but since i'm actually going, time for yet another entry on it.
Fuck yeah. The tickets may have cost me a pretty penny, but i am going to vegas in january. oh it feels so good to know that i'm going for sure. I mean, i also want to go in Dec if possible, and then Feb too.
But even though i'm going on a weekend, i really wanna go back during the week, like Tuesday through Thursday. Foundation Room at Mandalay was fucking awesome on Tuesday night. There was a cool crowd, and TONS of dance space. It was really awesome. There's only one obstacle to that..and it's WORK. And since I get the same days off as everyone else, that means ticket prices go way up. Also, all my friends work too. So that makes the obstacle list complete.
1) Working full time
2) Same days off as the rest of the country/world
3) Ticket prices to fly there are really high
4) Driving takes 10+ hours
5) Friends also work full time/aren't as psycho about Vegas as me
- - -
Why do people not use their blinkers when they change lanes? Is it that hard to move your hand a few inches and move a lever? I don't care who you are, how old you are, etc...if you do not use your blinker, you are a dumbshit plus a lazy bitch, which would make you a dumzyshitch.
Why do people walk fast? Nothing is more annoying than having someone walking hella fast behind you, and you can hear them coming up behind you? I have this thing about people walking close behind me. It's annoying. And don't tell me that some people just walk fast. NO ONE just walks fast. Haven't you ever heard of just taking a sroll? Slow down, smell the roses, enjoy life, and get off my ass, literally.
Disappointment is a bowl of wax fruit that looks a little too real. Fake grapes are a crime against humanity. Don't tempt me like that. It's like those smelly markers or scratch-and-sniff stickers. How you gonna make something that smells delicious, and then not let me eat it? Not cool. The only things that are allowed to smell good without tempting the person to eat it are potpourri, gasoline/rubber cement/paint thinner, and those victoria's secret body sprays that girls wear (although (BAD JOKE COMING) there's an exception cuz those damn intoxicating sprays do make me want to eat girls up...har har har. wow.)
Worst candy ever? Those damn button candies. wtf was that? You eat some candy, and you get some nice paper to go with it. This candy taught me that 1) you can ingest paper 2) button candy is nowhere good enough to take the punishment of having to eat paper with it.
Runner up for worst candy ever? Jujyfruits or whatever the fuck it was called. Yes, there is nothing I like more than candy that isn't that tasty, but is like chewing a piece of wet cement. This candy had one purpose, and one purpose only: pulling out your fillings and also making you feel like a chump for buying such a shitty candy
Second runner up for the worst candy ever? Hot Tamales. First off, I was never a big fan of cinnamon flavored candies. It's good for mints and chewing gum (sorta), but not candy. Second of all, I don't get why you would name a candy after a mexican dish that is a dinner item. Would you buy a candy called Beef Burrito? How bout Nacho Supreme? But on that note, shit...i'd rather eat a candy that tastes like beef/pork in a cornmeal wrap than shitty ass cinnamon. The last gripe about this candy is that it came in the same family as Mike and Ike, one of the best candies ever. So you see those fuckers, and they look like cherry mike and ikes and then you bite in, and your whole system is overwhelmed with the biggest disappointment ever since Back to the Future III.
I wanna take piano lessons again. Anyone know of a good teacher up here in the bay area?
Tired. too bad i have to work today till 7pm. sweet.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Monday, November 6, 2006
"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it looks so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it"
"A person who has good thoughts can never be ugly though. Whether you have a wonky mouth, a crooked nose, or a double chin, if you think good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely"
-Roald Dahl, The Twits
Genius. And so true.
"A person who has good thoughts can never be ugly though. Whether you have a wonky mouth, a crooked nose, or a double chin, if you think good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely"
-Roald Dahl, The Twits
Genius. And so true.
Monday, October 30, 2006
yes, this should go in the other blog, but whatevers. Time for a rant of sorts. Well, not so much a rant.
Work is cool. I'm working on projects, working with an international team, learning as I go along, saving up to buy a house/car, good deal. But I also can't help feeling like I'm incompetent. The applications I work on are not for your average consumer, and as a result of the combination of the complexity and my stupidity, it's difficult for me to get a handle on a lot of the concepts. I feel like people need to dumb down everything to explain it to me. Things should be coming a lot easier to me, but they just aren't. I guess for one thing, I had expected to go into product design, but am instead doing HCI design. Sometimes I wonder how much I'm doing here is actually making a difference, because I feel behind in everything.
For the most part, I think in life, I've always felt like I've been behind, or failing in the things I take upon. This disappoints and frustrates me because I know I can do it, but i doubt myself. I wish things came naturally to me, I wish I was gifted with innate talents and abilities like all those around me, but that just isn't the case. I could make a good argument that I would prefer it to be that way, because only by climbing mountains do you gain strength, but sometimes, I just get tired.
Don't think for a second that I don't enjoy working where I do, or what I do. I just wish I felt more in command of the things I do. It's been a very long time since I felt like I was in control. So long that I don't think I've ever felt that way.
You handle it and you move on.
- - -
I've lost some weight, but not enough. This no carb diet is going to stick until I lose a noticable portion of weight. I think I should up my time on the tredmill too.
- - -
So I got the new New Found Glory CD...it's kinda different from their old stuff, but i guess that's cool. On that CD is a song ("When I Die") that one of the band members (chad gilbert) wrote for his dad, who passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He said he wanted to write a song about him that wasn't sad, but uplifting. He wanted to write a song about the fact that while you can't plan for everything, death is a part of life, and you have to accept it and look for the positive. His dad had had cancer, and he was told he was probably going to die from it, but he beat it. He told his family that he never wanted to go through cancer again, and that if he dies, he wants to die like a normal person. After that, he had a heart attack, and after he passed, his family found out that he had contracted cancer again. So he had gotten his wish to pass on like a normal person. That's why the lyric "No you didn't, didn't feel a thing" is so previlent in the song.
Anyways, the song is amazing. It's an extraordinary mix of sadness and happiness. The lyrics/music are awesome, and thus you have to listen to it, you can't just read the lyrics. I am amazed at the song's message of accepting death as a part of life, and looking for the good in it all. The song is extremely emotional, and the first time I listened to it, I found myself wiping away tears because it reminded me of all the important people in my life who I had lost.
Awesome song. go buy it on itunes right now. RIGHT NOW. Or better yet buy the CD.
And while we're talking about awesome songs, I have found another pair of songs which are absolutely SICK. "PDA" by John Legend, and "I call it love" by Lionel Richie (yes, THAT lionel richie). Download now and thank me later.
Work is cool. I'm working on projects, working with an international team, learning as I go along, saving up to buy a house/car, good deal. But I also can't help feeling like I'm incompetent. The applications I work on are not for your average consumer, and as a result of the combination of the complexity and my stupidity, it's difficult for me to get a handle on a lot of the concepts. I feel like people need to dumb down everything to explain it to me. Things should be coming a lot easier to me, but they just aren't. I guess for one thing, I had expected to go into product design, but am instead doing HCI design. Sometimes I wonder how much I'm doing here is actually making a difference, because I feel behind in everything.
For the most part, I think in life, I've always felt like I've been behind, or failing in the things I take upon. This disappoints and frustrates me because I know I can do it, but i doubt myself. I wish things came naturally to me, I wish I was gifted with innate talents and abilities like all those around me, but that just isn't the case. I could make a good argument that I would prefer it to be that way, because only by climbing mountains do you gain strength, but sometimes, I just get tired.
Don't think for a second that I don't enjoy working where I do, or what I do. I just wish I felt more in command of the things I do. It's been a very long time since I felt like I was in control. So long that I don't think I've ever felt that way.
You handle it and you move on.
- - -
I've lost some weight, but not enough. This no carb diet is going to stick until I lose a noticable portion of weight. I think I should up my time on the tredmill too.
- - -
So I got the new New Found Glory CD...it's kinda different from their old stuff, but i guess that's cool. On that CD is a song ("When I Die") that one of the band members (chad gilbert) wrote for his dad, who passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He said he wanted to write a song about him that wasn't sad, but uplifting. He wanted to write a song about the fact that while you can't plan for everything, death is a part of life, and you have to accept it and look for the positive. His dad had had cancer, and he was told he was probably going to die from it, but he beat it. He told his family that he never wanted to go through cancer again, and that if he dies, he wants to die like a normal person. After that, he had a heart attack, and after he passed, his family found out that he had contracted cancer again. So he had gotten his wish to pass on like a normal person. That's why the lyric "No you didn't, didn't feel a thing" is so previlent in the song.
Anyways, the song is amazing. It's an extraordinary mix of sadness and happiness. The lyrics/music are awesome, and thus you have to listen to it, you can't just read the lyrics. I am amazed at the song's message of accepting death as a part of life, and looking for the good in it all. The song is extremely emotional, and the first time I listened to it, I found myself wiping away tears because it reminded me of all the important people in my life who I had lost.
Awesome song. go buy it on itunes right now. RIGHT NOW. Or better yet buy the CD.
And while we're talking about awesome songs, I have found another pair of songs which are absolutely SICK. "PDA" by John Legend, and "I call it love" by Lionel Richie (yes, THAT lionel richie). Download now and thank me later.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
I think next spring I'm gonna hit up seattle. I was talkin' to Jon bout the trip we took to visit our friend Greg over in Philly. That was a dope ass trip. And while I think I'll someday visit Boston again, I'd like to check out some more of the west coast. Seattle came to mind because i have family up there, and they always told me I should go visit cuz Seattle is cool.
I would also eventually like to check out DC, parts of maine, and even vermont. I'm done with New York city tho. Given that I was only there for a few hours, my friend said I should give it another chance in order to get the full experience. No. I already have a sour taste of new york in my mouth for several reasons, and I didn't see anything while driving through it that would make me change my mind. Boston, yes. New York city? No.
But first. Vegas. I think I can stand not going for about another month. Then i will die.
I would also eventually like to check out DC, parts of maine, and even vermont. I'm done with New York city tho. Given that I was only there for a few hours, my friend said I should give it another chance in order to get the full experience. No. I already have a sour taste of new york in my mouth for several reasons, and I didn't see anything while driving through it that would make me change my mind. Boston, yes. New York city? No.
But first. Vegas. I think I can stand not going for about another month. Then i will die.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Very few people will agree with this post. and when i say "very few" i mean ZERO. Everyone likes these shows except for me. And I know this because so far I have yet to find someone that agrees with me.
TV SHOWS THAT SUCK MAJOR FUCKING ASS:
1) SAVED BY THE BELL - This is the worst fucking show ever. Talk about the worst representation of high school. This was by far the farthest from reality that a show could go. I'm more likely to believe that a girl who is half alien and half human can stop time by putting her fingers together than to believe that SBTB shows how high school is. The jokes were cornier than than the last 10 minutes of Hitch, the plots were horrible, and the characters were beyond fake. The reality is that if anyone acted like screech in high school, they would have had their ass beat by everyone in the school on a regular basis, all the way from the jocks to the math club. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Slater and Zack are a gay couple. Don't get me started on that "I'm so excited..i'm so SCARED" shit. If you substitute some Aderol or some meth, then i'll be more likely to believe it. Haven't you seen "traffic"?
2) STEP BY STEP - I hate this shit. I hate all the characters. I hate the actors that play the characters, and hate is a very strong word. OMFG. This show was like a million times worse than SBTB! I would rather watch every episode of SBTB, including "the college years" for 40 days straight than watch one episode of Step by step. The only reason why I watched this show is because it was a part of TGIF. and The jokes...OMG..the JOKES. I hope the writers of this show went back to their day jobs as Chemistry textbook writers. The jokes made me want to uppercut the nearest puppy dog sitting in the middle of a tulip field looking sad into the sun. Every character on this show was made for an infomerical. Even Cody's random ass kickboxing skills couldn't save this show for two reasons: Cody talked like a retarded surfer dude who ate paint chips like tic tacs, and because in real life, Cody got arrested for beating up his wife. Asshole.
3) THAT 70'S SHOW - Okay. I'll be fair. Some the jokes on this show are funny. Too bad the characters suck, the decade sucked (Hey i'm bias...the 80s were better), and did I mention the characters suck? From the borderline loser main characer, to the white guy with the wannabe afro, the girl who looks like a dude, to "cash maaaannneeeyyyy" (His gimmick is his accent? Says a lot about his acting ability. Good thing he's "Yo Mama" to fall back on). Yes, That 70's show is definitely a piece of 70's shit. Adding to my anger is my recent discovery that the main character (borderline loser guy) is playing VENOM in Spider man 3. Hilarious. After he's done with that movie he can go film a sequal for the incredible Hulk. Lame.
4) GO BOTS - The lame ass american version (aka rip off) of Transformers, this show was an embarrasment to american animators everywhere. This show was so bad it made me want to go study calculus. It was so bad that you can lump it with The Flintstones, The Jetsons, the Smurfs, and any other cartoon that was clearly made for adults (read: boring). The only thing I can really remember about this show is Scooter, who I couldn't tell was a male or female robot, and who had the power to make illusions...yet another bite off of Tranformers. The leader of the good side was given the novel name of "LEADER-1". WOW. Awesome. And there were like 4 good guys and like 4 bad guys and THAT WAS IT. ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
5) SEX AND THE CITY - This show sucks for two reasons. 1) The lifestyles of these girls I find to be a shitty ideal. Because of that and the situations they find themselves in, this show has successfully become "the standard", the "bible" of women everywhere. Reason found in a TV show is hard for me to swallow. It would be similar to me using Law and Order as an interpretation of the law in real life. Though this would be easier to do cuz L&O is the dopeness.
2) Okay, I'm a guy. Being a guy, nude girls is not exactly something I'll turn away from. But there are always exceptions, and here is one. The one girl..excuse me..woman..excuse me...MA'AM..that they show in full nudity is old and gross. You may say, she's not that old and gross. But you're wrong. and that's according to L&O episode 251, where Jack argues in the double homicide case (Supreme Court, Grand Jury, Part 47): "The old lady on Sex and the City that they always show nude is gross." Case closed, bitches.
6) THAT FUCKING SHOW WHERE THE DAUGHTER WAS A ROBOT - show sucked. Next.
7) VOLTRON (SPECIFICALLY THE LION ONE) - K here we go! I can already here the cussing and clawing at the screen. "NO WAY BITCH!! THE LION ONE WAS AWESOME!!! THE OTHER ONE SUCKED!!!" WRONG. So why does the lion one suck? Why do i think that the other one was better? Well here's why:
Reasons why the other one was better (bias reasons)
-I personally like the idea of battleships coming together to form voltron. It's very like gestalt transformer robot-ish, and makes more sense. Plus the whole idea of a LAND group, SEA group, and AIR group coming together to form an ULTIMATE WEAPON makes sense because it's aLL THE DIFFERENT BATTLE ENVIRONMENTS COMING TOGETHER. Plus, if need by, they can break apart and all attack separately. Nice.
-This version of voltron put it's sword together a bit differently. They would pull out too halves of the sword and bring them together in a tight ass action sequence. Sick yo.
NOW, reasons why the lion one SUCKED:
-Can you tell me how the red lion survived where it was placed? Oh you don't remember? Why yes, the Red lion was in the bottom of a LAVA PIT. NO SENSE. Now, you're probably saying, in a bitchy bitchy voice "But that just shows the strength of the lions! Moded!" oh really?? Well then can you tell my why when the red lion was hit by something as weak as a bomb or a bolt of electricity, why it got fucked up?
-Lion voltron was slower than the lions apart, and had worse moves. In fact, the only moves that lion voltron had was "Bite Punch!" and "Bite Kick!". In real life, these two moves would be equivalent to throwing a cotton ball at someone's car in order to hurt them.
-If the lions were to break apart to fight, you now have five lions who are extremely similar. Advantage? None.
-Their way of forming the sword was to slam their hands together and the sword would form inbetween. ZZZZZZZZ.
-Finally, Devastator would kick this transformers ass. In fact, Mixmaster would fuck up Lion Voltron all by himself. And for those of you not in the nerdy know, Mixmaster isn't anyone big...just the sickest Constructicon period. (And just for the record, Long Haul was the lamest)
THE WAIT..WHY DID I WATCH THOSE SHOWS? SHOWS:
1) X-FILES - So I used to kick it with my brother's friends. Turns out a good number of them liked that show "the x-files". Now XF isn't a bad show. It's not a great show, but it's not a bad one either. It also had a nice habit of scaring the shit outta me just around the time it was time to get ready for bed. But do I recall any episodes now? No. Do I think any of the episodes I saw were especially cool? No.
2) MAGNUM PI - K, the coolest part of the opening is when he turns around and does that eyebrow lift as if to say "yo bitch i'm the coolest mother fucker around". And you can't forget about Higgins doin' his kung fu thing. Tom Sellek driving that pimp car at full speed and checking out the ladies. Now what was this show about? I have no clue. I just know that Magnum PI was the narrator and always got the girl. Did I mention the car and kung fu Higgins? One word: Sick. Furthermore, these days, when you hear the word MAGNUM, you usually think "impressive". Coincidence? Hardly.
3) THE GUMMI BEARS - K what the fuck? GUMMI BEARS? How??? How did i find this show cool? It's a bunch of different colored bears who make a special kind of jungle juice that causes them to get high, literally. They get like all bouncy and shit and make you strong. And that's it! That's the gimmick! I mean, they all had different characteristics..there was zummy and sunny and grammy and tubby (or fatty) and pinkie and bitchie and slutty, but i mean they all had pretty much the same shit going on -- "I get in trouble, I just drink some drank and then I trip out". Oh and they had all those hidden doors and shit in the woods. how fucking gimmicky. giggle.
6) DOOGIE HOWSER, M.D. - This show used to be tight. But then something happened. I got old. I don't remember much from the show, but I do remember the ending. Yes. The part where Doogs decide to reflect on his day of experiences with a thoughtful TWO SENTENCE entry into his "blue screen of death" computer diary application. The worst part was it wasn't like he wrote that sentence fragment and then went to bed immediately. No it was more like:
"Today was a challenge....(Howser thinks. Howser thinks)..but like all challenges.. (Howser thinks. Thoughtful look)...I know that tomorrow will be bring more. (Howser thinks MORE). But like a dove (HOWSER THINKS)..I know I will fly above..(HOWSER thinks..shows a small smirk)... and be free like a multicolored dragon." Screen fades.
4) UNSOLVED MYSTERIES - Why did I watch this show? I don't know. But I did. And that fucking music still scares the shit outta me. Because of this show, it was also IMPOSSIBLE for me to find Caddyshack funny because Mr. Rob Stack was in that movie, and while they were making funny jokes and stuff, all I could hear was him saying "Back in 1962, in the quiet town of Castle Rock, the community was shock by the brutal slaying of a couple just back from their honeymoon...it was a night no one would soon forget". There was one thing consistent about this show. I could NOT go to sleep, and i could NOT walk down the hallway with the lights off after watching it. If you want to see me cry like a little girl, make me watch Unsolved Mysteries in the dark by myself. The only good part of this show was the "Updates" section, where they would show that they solved one of the cases. That way, that was one person who wouldn't kil me in the dark hallway.
5) REN AND STIMPY - This show was CRACKED OUT. Filled with gross jokes and absurd humor, for some reason I thought it was hilarious. Seriously, the writers of this show must have been on some serious shit to come up with the stuff in the episodes. Powdered Toast Man? The Nerve Ending Fairy? Magical nose goblins? WTF!
6) SQUARE ONE / 3-2-1 CONTACT - These were nerd shows, put into a sugar coated package in order to appeal to kids. and yet I watched them. I clearly remember "Mathman" on Square One, who had to eat the smaller fractions, otherwise the hurricane guy would come and eat him. There was only one episode where mathman won all of the questions and got a free game. Then there were the BORING part of both shows: Square One had "Mathnet" which was boring and corny, and 321contact had "Voyage of the Mimi" which was boring, but it DID show me how to treat hypothermia and how to make a contraption which would take the water out of saltwater so you could drink it.
7) FRASIER - Call me stupid, cuz I am, but I kinda found this show to be funny, but for strange reasons. The jokes are never necessarily funny, but there was something about how they were presented or told. The situations that Dr. Fraiser Crane and his brother would get themselves into were hilarious because they 1) they were so damn proper, and 2) they were both psychiatrists. Plus, Frasier is from Cheers, which was also a great, great show.
SHOWS THAT ARE KICK ASS AND IF YOU DONT' LKE THEM YOU SUCK:
1) TRANSFORMERS - Awesome. No explanation needed. If you need an explanation, you obviously are not in the know, or are too young. And if that's the case, I cry for you. No really. I cry for you like I did when Optimus died. Look I'm already starting to tear up.
2) QUANTUM LEAP - Quantum physics is something that I find very very interesting ("Timeline" by Michael Crighton, the show "Sliders", and to a certain extent "The One" with Jet Li). I can't remember where I first learned about it exactly, but it was after I did that I realized that Quantum Leap was based on this theory as well. Basically, one part of the Quantum Theory states that time, tho linear, it created by a infinite number of dimensions lined up. Therefore, time travel is nothing but finding a way to move one's energy to another dimension. This is because time is created by new dimensions coming into existance. Anyway enough nerdspeak. This show was tight because Dr. Sam Becker would "leap" in a light blue explosion to take the "energy" of another person in a different dimension (aka "time"). He gets all of the person's strenghths and weaknesses. They always found cool people to have him leap into (a pregnant woman, himself when he was younger, his brother, an african american man, chuck yeager, etc.). He would have to do something to change the future events to less catastrophic ones, and then he would leap out. And of course, every episode would end with the same two words: "oh boy".
3) PRESS YOUR LUCK - This is the game show of all game shows. "NO WHAMMIES NO WHAMMIES..STOP!" Bam you just won a vacation. Bam you just won 1500 dollars AND a free spin. This show is awesome. It was pretty much a giant video game/slot machine. The first part of the show was boring as shit..nothing but questions. But the second part with the board. Pure sickness.
4) LAW AND ORDER: THE ORIGINAL - If this is how the legal system is in real life, I'm quitting and going to law school. This show has found the perfect formula for making the viewers feel good. You see how the person who did the crime is trying to hide, then you see the cops bust them, and then you see how Jack and Crew destroy them in court. There is no way you can watch "just 10 minutes". No. You watch one minute and now you're gonna watch all the rest of them. If Jack McCoy was a real lawyer, there would be crime anywhere. There are always episodes that are super complicated or reflect the present problems of today. The best episodes are where the witness is being a bitch, and Jack says to the judge "Permission to treat the witness as hostile". "Granted". Let the verbal bitch slappage begin.
5) SEINFELD - This show is hilarious. In addition to excellent writing which produces nothing but anticipation for situations in real life where you can use these lines.(Ask how many times I've quoted "What kinds of lives are these..."), this show lets us all take a good look at how absurd we can be. The cast of this show are a group of people who don't give a shit about anything..they just try and make the best with what they've got. They don't care what others think, and they just do what they're gonna do. Of course, while doing this, they get themselves into all kinds of situations because everyone else around them DOES care. This show presents the most ideal kind of life, as well as the worst.
6) FAIRLY ODDPARENTS / INVADER ZIM - Yes. It's a cartoon, and yes it's made for kids. But I will submit that the jokes in these cartoons are NOT only for kids. Nay. Rather, if you watch any episode of either of these cartoons, you will find yourself laughing. There have even been articles written in newspapers/magazines how adults find the cartoon as funny (if not more funny) than kids. Fairly Oddparents is about a boy named Timmy who's parents often dont have time for him and therefore get a babysitter who makes him do hard labor. Therefore, he is granted a pair of fairly godparents who grant anything he wishes for. Watch it. Invader Zim is about a stupid alien named Zim who is trying to take over Earth. Unfortunately, there is a smart kid in his class who knows his real identity and is constantly trying to expose him. Those two are the best characters. The other characters in the show are rather amusing, but nothing compared to those two.
7) DRAGON BALL Z - well what do you know..another cartoon. WRONG. it's an anime. I spent many a day when i was younger immitating this anime with my friends and cousins. In fact, even today, if you piss me off, I'll pretend to throw fireballs at you when your back is turned. Anyways, this was the show that started it all. Throwing fireballs, fast martial arts action sequences, teleporting while fighting. This started a bunch of biters making video games and cartoons and comics in the same kind of art style. The more popular anime/manga of today (mainly bleach/naruto) have roots in this anime because i feel it was one of the first to have such variety in storyline/fighting styles/etc. Then they brought it over here and dubbed it and ruined everything.
8) SLIDERS - Again, this is one of those shows that I liked due to my interest in the whole quantum thing. This show was basically about a guy who found a way to open up portals between dimensions. He and four other people got sucked into this portal, and are desperately trying to find their way home. Unlike Sam Becker, however, they are not jumping into other people. They are just jumping around dimensions, and truer to quantum theory, each dimension is different from one another. Another part of quantum theory states that an infinite amount of dimensions can exist at the same time. So think of it like this: I'm sitting at my desk. In the next second, I could do a number of things. There are also a number of things that I can't do. But there is a dimension that exists for ALL of those things. So like, in one episode of this show,they found themselves in a dimension where a gas cloud was destoying the Y chromosome, so women were only having girls. Because of this, males of the world were being used as bargaining chips between countries. Weird. Anyways, I remember the way the main character would tell if he was home or not was he would go to his house and see if the gate squeaked. However, the one time he did get home, his mom had oiled the gate that morning, so he jumped out again, never knowing that he had actually gotten home. Show is sick!
9) THE COSBY SHOW - Bill Cosby is gold in this show. He made the show. All the other characters were aight, but Bill was the bomb. Back before he was his present angry self, he was smooth, funny, and wore sweaters that made you blind. In the show, he was a perfect mix of the guy who is a victim to the daily stresses of life, but also didn't take no shit from anyone. And he did it all in a funny sarcastic way. No one can say that the episode where he's showing Theo why he has to do well in school (the monopoly money one) is nothing less than BRILLIANT ("I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!"). It's so good I have to put a link. Check it:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sVfxJ5pE728
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
1) Night Court
2) Avatar: the last airbender
3) CSI (original)
4) GI Joe
5) The Office (This will change..I just need to watch more episodes)
6) Early Edition
TV SHOWS THAT SUCK MAJOR FUCKING ASS:
1) SAVED BY THE BELL - This is the worst fucking show ever. Talk about the worst representation of high school. This was by far the farthest from reality that a show could go. I'm more likely to believe that a girl who is half alien and half human can stop time by putting her fingers together than to believe that SBTB shows how high school is. The jokes were cornier than than the last 10 minutes of Hitch, the plots were horrible, and the characters were beyond fake. The reality is that if anyone acted like screech in high school, they would have had their ass beat by everyone in the school on a regular basis, all the way from the jocks to the math club. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Slater and Zack are a gay couple. Don't get me started on that "I'm so excited..i'm so SCARED" shit. If you substitute some Aderol or some meth, then i'll be more likely to believe it. Haven't you seen "traffic"?
2) STEP BY STEP - I hate this shit. I hate all the characters. I hate the actors that play the characters, and hate is a very strong word. OMFG. This show was like a million times worse than SBTB! I would rather watch every episode of SBTB, including "the college years" for 40 days straight than watch one episode of Step by step. The only reason why I watched this show is because it was a part of TGIF. and The jokes...OMG..the JOKES. I hope the writers of this show went back to their day jobs as Chemistry textbook writers. The jokes made me want to uppercut the nearest puppy dog sitting in the middle of a tulip field looking sad into the sun. Every character on this show was made for an infomerical. Even Cody's random ass kickboxing skills couldn't save this show for two reasons: Cody talked like a retarded surfer dude who ate paint chips like tic tacs, and because in real life, Cody got arrested for beating up his wife. Asshole.
3) THAT 70'S SHOW - Okay. I'll be fair. Some the jokes on this show are funny. Too bad the characters suck, the decade sucked (Hey i'm bias...the 80s were better), and did I mention the characters suck? From the borderline loser main characer, to the white guy with the wannabe afro, the girl who looks like a dude, to "cash maaaannneeeyyyy" (His gimmick is his accent? Says a lot about his acting ability. Good thing he's "Yo Mama" to fall back on). Yes, That 70's show is definitely a piece of 70's shit. Adding to my anger is my recent discovery that the main character (borderline loser guy) is playing VENOM in Spider man 3. Hilarious. After he's done with that movie he can go film a sequal for the incredible Hulk. Lame.
4) GO BOTS - The lame ass american version (aka rip off) of Transformers, this show was an embarrasment to american animators everywhere. This show was so bad it made me want to go study calculus. It was so bad that you can lump it with The Flintstones, The Jetsons, the Smurfs, and any other cartoon that was clearly made for adults (read: boring). The only thing I can really remember about this show is Scooter, who I couldn't tell was a male or female robot, and who had the power to make illusions...yet another bite off of Tranformers. The leader of the good side was given the novel name of "LEADER-1". WOW. Awesome. And there were like 4 good guys and like 4 bad guys and THAT WAS IT. ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
5) SEX AND THE CITY - This show sucks for two reasons. 1) The lifestyles of these girls I find to be a shitty ideal. Because of that and the situations they find themselves in, this show has successfully become "the standard", the "bible" of women everywhere. Reason found in a TV show is hard for me to swallow. It would be similar to me using Law and Order as an interpretation of the law in real life. Though this would be easier to do cuz L&O is the dopeness.
2) Okay, I'm a guy. Being a guy, nude girls is not exactly something I'll turn away from. But there are always exceptions, and here is one. The one girl..excuse me..woman..excuse me...MA'AM..that they show in full nudity is old and gross. You may say, she's not that old and gross. But you're wrong. and that's according to L&O episode 251, where Jack argues in the double homicide case (Supreme Court, Grand Jury, Part 47): "The old lady on Sex and the City that they always show nude is gross." Case closed, bitches.
6) THAT FUCKING SHOW WHERE THE DAUGHTER WAS A ROBOT - show sucked. Next.
7) VOLTRON (SPECIFICALLY THE LION ONE) - K here we go! I can already here the cussing and clawing at the screen. "NO WAY BITCH!! THE LION ONE WAS AWESOME!!! THE OTHER ONE SUCKED!!!" WRONG. So why does the lion one suck? Why do i think that the other one was better? Well here's why:
Reasons why the other one was better (bias reasons)
-I personally like the idea of battleships coming together to form voltron. It's very like gestalt transformer robot-ish, and makes more sense. Plus the whole idea of a LAND group, SEA group, and AIR group coming together to form an ULTIMATE WEAPON makes sense because it's aLL THE DIFFERENT BATTLE ENVIRONMENTS COMING TOGETHER. Plus, if need by, they can break apart and all attack separately. Nice.
-This version of voltron put it's sword together a bit differently. They would pull out too halves of the sword and bring them together in a tight ass action sequence. Sick yo.
NOW, reasons why the lion one SUCKED:
-Can you tell me how the red lion survived where it was placed? Oh you don't remember? Why yes, the Red lion was in the bottom of a LAVA PIT. NO SENSE. Now, you're probably saying, in a bitchy bitchy voice "But that just shows the strength of the lions! Moded!" oh really?? Well then can you tell my why when the red lion was hit by something as weak as a bomb or a bolt of electricity, why it got fucked up?
-Lion voltron was slower than the lions apart, and had worse moves. In fact, the only moves that lion voltron had was "Bite Punch!" and "Bite Kick!". In real life, these two moves would be equivalent to throwing a cotton ball at someone's car in order to hurt them.
-If the lions were to break apart to fight, you now have five lions who are extremely similar. Advantage? None.
-Their way of forming the sword was to slam their hands together and the sword would form inbetween. ZZZZZZZZ.
-Finally, Devastator would kick this transformers ass. In fact, Mixmaster would fuck up Lion Voltron all by himself. And for those of you not in the nerdy know, Mixmaster isn't anyone big...just the sickest Constructicon period. (And just for the record, Long Haul was the lamest)
THE WAIT..WHY DID I WATCH THOSE SHOWS? SHOWS:
1) X-FILES - So I used to kick it with my brother's friends. Turns out a good number of them liked that show "the x-files". Now XF isn't a bad show. It's not a great show, but it's not a bad one either. It also had a nice habit of scaring the shit outta me just around the time it was time to get ready for bed. But do I recall any episodes now? No. Do I think any of the episodes I saw were especially cool? No.
2) MAGNUM PI - K, the coolest part of the opening is when he turns around and does that eyebrow lift as if to say "yo bitch i'm the coolest mother fucker around". And you can't forget about Higgins doin' his kung fu thing. Tom Sellek driving that pimp car at full speed and checking out the ladies. Now what was this show about? I have no clue. I just know that Magnum PI was the narrator and always got the girl. Did I mention the car and kung fu Higgins? One word: Sick. Furthermore, these days, when you hear the word MAGNUM, you usually think "impressive". Coincidence? Hardly.
3) THE GUMMI BEARS - K what the fuck? GUMMI BEARS? How??? How did i find this show cool? It's a bunch of different colored bears who make a special kind of jungle juice that causes them to get high, literally. They get like all bouncy and shit and make you strong. And that's it! That's the gimmick! I mean, they all had different characteristics..there was zummy and sunny and grammy and tubby (or fatty) and pinkie and bitchie and slutty, but i mean they all had pretty much the same shit going on -- "I get in trouble, I just drink some drank and then I trip out". Oh and they had all those hidden doors and shit in the woods. how fucking gimmicky. giggle.
6) DOOGIE HOWSER, M.D. - This show used to be tight. But then something happened. I got old. I don't remember much from the show, but I do remember the ending. Yes. The part where Doogs decide to reflect on his day of experiences with a thoughtful TWO SENTENCE entry into his "blue screen of death" computer diary application. The worst part was it wasn't like he wrote that sentence fragment and then went to bed immediately. No it was more like:
"Today was a challenge....(Howser thinks. Howser thinks)..but like all challenges.. (Howser thinks. Thoughtful look)...I know that tomorrow will be bring more. (Howser thinks MORE). But like a dove (HOWSER THINKS)..I know I will fly above..(HOWSER thinks..shows a small smirk)... and be free like a multicolored dragon." Screen fades.
4) UNSOLVED MYSTERIES - Why did I watch this show? I don't know. But I did. And that fucking music still scares the shit outta me. Because of this show, it was also IMPOSSIBLE for me to find Caddyshack funny because Mr. Rob Stack was in that movie, and while they were making funny jokes and stuff, all I could hear was him saying "Back in 1962, in the quiet town of Castle Rock, the community was shock by the brutal slaying of a couple just back from their honeymoon...it was a night no one would soon forget". There was one thing consistent about this show. I could NOT go to sleep, and i could NOT walk down the hallway with the lights off after watching it. If you want to see me cry like a little girl, make me watch Unsolved Mysteries in the dark by myself. The only good part of this show was the "Updates" section, where they would show that they solved one of the cases. That way, that was one person who wouldn't kil me in the dark hallway.
5) REN AND STIMPY - This show was CRACKED OUT. Filled with gross jokes and absurd humor, for some reason I thought it was hilarious. Seriously, the writers of this show must have been on some serious shit to come up with the stuff in the episodes. Powdered Toast Man? The Nerve Ending Fairy? Magical nose goblins? WTF!
6) SQUARE ONE / 3-2-1 CONTACT - These were nerd shows, put into a sugar coated package in order to appeal to kids. and yet I watched them. I clearly remember "Mathman" on Square One, who had to eat the smaller fractions, otherwise the hurricane guy would come and eat him. There was only one episode where mathman won all of the questions and got a free game. Then there were the BORING part of both shows: Square One had "Mathnet" which was boring and corny, and 321contact had "Voyage of the Mimi" which was boring, but it DID show me how to treat hypothermia and how to make a contraption which would take the water out of saltwater so you could drink it.
7) FRASIER - Call me stupid, cuz I am, but I kinda found this show to be funny, but for strange reasons. The jokes are never necessarily funny, but there was something about how they were presented or told. The situations that Dr. Fraiser Crane and his brother would get themselves into were hilarious because they 1) they were so damn proper, and 2) they were both psychiatrists. Plus, Frasier is from Cheers, which was also a great, great show.
SHOWS THAT ARE KICK ASS AND IF YOU DONT' LKE THEM YOU SUCK:
1) TRANSFORMERS - Awesome. No explanation needed. If you need an explanation, you obviously are not in the know, or are too young. And if that's the case, I cry for you. No really. I cry for you like I did when Optimus died. Look I'm already starting to tear up.
2) QUANTUM LEAP - Quantum physics is something that I find very very interesting ("Timeline" by Michael Crighton, the show "Sliders", and to a certain extent "The One" with Jet Li). I can't remember where I first learned about it exactly, but it was after I did that I realized that Quantum Leap was based on this theory as well. Basically, one part of the Quantum Theory states that time, tho linear, it created by a infinite number of dimensions lined up. Therefore, time travel is nothing but finding a way to move one's energy to another dimension. This is because time is created by new dimensions coming into existance. Anyway enough nerdspeak. This show was tight because Dr. Sam Becker would "leap" in a light blue explosion to take the "energy" of another person in a different dimension (aka "time"). He gets all of the person's strenghths and weaknesses. They always found cool people to have him leap into (a pregnant woman, himself when he was younger, his brother, an african american man, chuck yeager, etc.). He would have to do something to change the future events to less catastrophic ones, and then he would leap out. And of course, every episode would end with the same two words: "oh boy".
3) PRESS YOUR LUCK - This is the game show of all game shows. "NO WHAMMIES NO WHAMMIES..STOP!" Bam you just won a vacation. Bam you just won 1500 dollars AND a free spin. This show is awesome. It was pretty much a giant video game/slot machine. The first part of the show was boring as shit..nothing but questions. But the second part with the board. Pure sickness.
4) LAW AND ORDER: THE ORIGINAL - If this is how the legal system is in real life, I'm quitting and going to law school. This show has found the perfect formula for making the viewers feel good. You see how the person who did the crime is trying to hide, then you see the cops bust them, and then you see how Jack and Crew destroy them in court. There is no way you can watch "just 10 minutes". No. You watch one minute and now you're gonna watch all the rest of them. If Jack McCoy was a real lawyer, there would be crime anywhere. There are always episodes that are super complicated or reflect the present problems of today. The best episodes are where the witness is being a bitch, and Jack says to the judge "Permission to treat the witness as hostile". "Granted". Let the verbal bitch slappage begin.
5) SEINFELD - This show is hilarious. In addition to excellent writing which produces nothing but anticipation for situations in real life where you can use these lines.(Ask how many times I've quoted "What kinds of lives are these..."), this show lets us all take a good look at how absurd we can be. The cast of this show are a group of people who don't give a shit about anything..they just try and make the best with what they've got. They don't care what others think, and they just do what they're gonna do. Of course, while doing this, they get themselves into all kinds of situations because everyone else around them DOES care. This show presents the most ideal kind of life, as well as the worst.
6) FAIRLY ODDPARENTS / INVADER ZIM - Yes. It's a cartoon, and yes it's made for kids. But I will submit that the jokes in these cartoons are NOT only for kids. Nay. Rather, if you watch any episode of either of these cartoons, you will find yourself laughing. There have even been articles written in newspapers/magazines how adults find the cartoon as funny (if not more funny) than kids. Fairly Oddparents is about a boy named Timmy who's parents often dont have time for him and therefore get a babysitter who makes him do hard labor. Therefore, he is granted a pair of fairly godparents who grant anything he wishes for. Watch it. Invader Zim is about a stupid alien named Zim who is trying to take over Earth. Unfortunately, there is a smart kid in his class who knows his real identity and is constantly trying to expose him. Those two are the best characters. The other characters in the show are rather amusing, but nothing compared to those two.
7) DRAGON BALL Z - well what do you know..another cartoon. WRONG. it's an anime. I spent many a day when i was younger immitating this anime with my friends and cousins. In fact, even today, if you piss me off, I'll pretend to throw fireballs at you when your back is turned. Anyways, this was the show that started it all. Throwing fireballs, fast martial arts action sequences, teleporting while fighting. This started a bunch of biters making video games and cartoons and comics in the same kind of art style. The more popular anime/manga of today (mainly bleach/naruto) have roots in this anime because i feel it was one of the first to have such variety in storyline/fighting styles/etc. Then they brought it over here and dubbed it and ruined everything.
8) SLIDERS - Again, this is one of those shows that I liked due to my interest in the whole quantum thing. This show was basically about a guy who found a way to open up portals between dimensions. He and four other people got sucked into this portal, and are desperately trying to find their way home. Unlike Sam Becker, however, they are not jumping into other people. They are just jumping around dimensions, and truer to quantum theory, each dimension is different from one another. Another part of quantum theory states that an infinite amount of dimensions can exist at the same time. So think of it like this: I'm sitting at my desk. In the next second, I could do a number of things. There are also a number of things that I can't do. But there is a dimension that exists for ALL of those things. So like, in one episode of this show,they found themselves in a dimension where a gas cloud was destoying the Y chromosome, so women were only having girls. Because of this, males of the world were being used as bargaining chips between countries. Weird. Anyways, I remember the way the main character would tell if he was home or not was he would go to his house and see if the gate squeaked. However, the one time he did get home, his mom had oiled the gate that morning, so he jumped out again, never knowing that he had actually gotten home. Show is sick!
9) THE COSBY SHOW - Bill Cosby is gold in this show. He made the show. All the other characters were aight, but Bill was the bomb. Back before he was his present angry self, he was smooth, funny, and wore sweaters that made you blind. In the show, he was a perfect mix of the guy who is a victim to the daily stresses of life, but also didn't take no shit from anyone. And he did it all in a funny sarcastic way. No one can say that the episode where he's showing Theo why he has to do well in school (the monopoly money one) is nothing less than BRILLIANT ("I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!"). It's so good I have to put a link. Check it:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sVfxJ5pE728
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
1) Night Court
2) Avatar: the last airbender
3) CSI (original)
4) GI Joe
5) The Office (This will change..I just need to watch more episodes)
6) Early Edition
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