So my friend Mel from UCSD is also a talented seamstress and has been running a small handbag business for a couple years now. She makes all the bags by hand, one by one. She busts her ass to make sure people are satsified with the final product. She's constantly going to all these shows to try to get orders. This is not someone trying to do a simple "get rich quick" thing - a lot of effort goes into every bag. And she does all this WHILE working full time.
Please check out her site and help support her. The bags are dope - modern patterns with a hawaiian or asian feel. All hand made and machine washable.
www.melinda-mae.com
If you're interested in buying one, let me know and I'll hook you up with a coupon code that friends of mine can use. Understand that that does NOT mean that I'm getting some kind of hookup because of it - this ain't no referral program. Mel doesn't make much off these bags - she does it because she ENJOYS doing it.
So tell your friends, tell your family. Fuck the 900 dollar prada bags and help support a small business instead.
And if you're too ghetto to pay for shipping, just let me know and I'LL cover your shipping. That's how much I want you to check out her stuff because it's the real deal. If I was a girl or gay, I'd be buying these bags like crazy. But then that wouldn't be fair to all the ladies of the world then, now would it? (Am I talking about the bags or me in that last sentence? You be the judge ;) )
Monday, June 22, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Because the last thing I need in my life is a needy bitch
I hope that whoever I end up marrying (if/when) doesn't like dogs or doesn't mind if we don't have one because after living with a dog (my parents took into my grandpa's dog after he passed away) I will saw all my fingers off my right hand individually before I get a dog.
So sorry future shiba inu, beagle, or golden retriver/lab mix - you just disappeared from my future. And after all the yapping, the barking to go outside, waking me up every time the mail comes with a shitstorm of lightening-fast anger-inducing yaps, all from the unloving mutt that takes up space in my house, the only way I'd get a dog is if somsone proved to me that a dog i was considering was the friendliest mother fucker ever, would let himself out, feed himself, be fine for a weekend alone, and be so smart that at several times during the day I would have to remind myself that he/she doesn''t actually talk.
So sorry future shiba inu, beagle, or golden retriver/lab mix - you just disappeared from my future. And after all the yapping, the barking to go outside, waking me up every time the mail comes with a shitstorm of lightening-fast anger-inducing yaps, all from the unloving mutt that takes up space in my house, the only way I'd get a dog is if somsone proved to me that a dog i was considering was the friendliest mother fucker ever, would let himself out, feed himself, be fine for a weekend alone, and be so smart that at several times during the day I would have to remind myself that he/she doesn''t actually talk.
San Diego, Hell is a snoring roommate, A book for the ages
So this past weekend I went to San Diego with Jon and Brendan. Why? Because I owed them for being a shitty host when they came to visit me when I was in college. I showed them an extremely bad time, something which I was (rightfully) never able to live down. I, in my naivety, had not realized how angry they were in the past (again, i don't blame them), so as a way of making amends but more for just showing them the stuff that I should have shown them, I planned a trip to San Diego. Plus, now that I wasn't a starving college student, I wanted to go down there and eat at places that I probably wouldn't have gone to before.
I purposely didn't tell anyone that I was going down to SD (sorry) so that I wouldn't do any additional ditch sessions like i did when they first came to visit. I did meet up with my old roommate Justin but that's because he had tried to get a hold of me when he came up here a few weeks ago, and I haven't seen dude in over 6 years. To everyone else, we'll chill next time I come down, which will be sooner than later. If I still don't contact you when I come down next, you can pretty much assume that I now hate you.
Here's how it went:
Jon was able to score a pretty fucking nice hotel right next to Petco park via Priceline (props to Shattner). The place was called Omni, and was pretty damn nice. The only weird thing was it had a sliding door for the bathroom door. And it was away from the wall. So there was always big gaps on either side of the door when it was closed. That meant that anyone walking by the door would get a penis show. But the bathroom was right next to the front door, which meant there was no reason anyone in the room should be over there, which meant that if anyone did walk by there, they were purposely trying to glimpse, which was an indirectly direct way of saying that they were gay. Done.
Thursday - Meet at the airport. Flight is packed (fuck). I hate packed flights. Why? Because of my curse.
See I have this curse that no matter what, I'm going to sit next to, behind, in front of, an annoying fuck. This annoying fuck can be a large person (a fat annoying fuck), someone who kicks the seat behind me (rude annoying fuck), a group of loud people (bunch of annoying fucks), or a crying kid (a little annoying baby bitch fuck). I just have bad luck in this regard. And sure enough..
So on the flight over, three LOUD, ANNOYING asian late teens/early 20 somethings sat behind us. You know, I never understood people that talk loud. Why do people talk loud??? Especially if you're sitting RIGHT NEXT to the person you're talking to. And if you're going to talk loud, and you're in a crowded area that's quite, and has kids, for fuck's sake, don't swear. Also, these three outstanding individuals laughed loud too. And two of them, the guys, had loud GUFFAW kind of laughs. Okay, now add one more thing. Add annoying wanna-be ghetto slang to these loud voices WHILE they're guffawing. Amazing. The whole flight was kind of like this...
Person 1: YO MAN WHY THE FUCK YOU NOT TELL ME THE SEAT BELT SIGN WAS ON?
Person 2: HAHAH. CUZ YOU STOOPID. HAW..HAW..HAW!!!
Person 1: YO MAN YOU REMEMBER WHEN (tells story about how so and so threw up outside of a club)
Person 3: HAHAHA AND YOU WERE PUKING IN A BAG
Person 2: HAW-HAW-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-I'M-SAYIN'-FOO!-HAW-HAW-HAW!!!
Person 1: HAW!! HAW!!! HAW!!!
This curse will exist as long as I have a full flight. It shows no mercy.
Here's another thing about flights. I love it when people come in with a full bag that doesn't fit in the overhead compartments. Unless you've NEVER flown with that bag before, which if that is the case then i better see some brand new tags on it like how people used to do with their hats in the 90s, then why would you assume that THIS time it'll fit??? Ugh. Maybe you need to go on the short plane that leaves the airport early at like 2:30pm while the rest of us leave at 4:30pm after the second recess.
Plus, someone farted on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Anyways, we get there. Brendan's stomach is jacked so he crashes immediately. Meanwhile, I take Jon to see the magic that is Roberto's (#2 of course). But I forget one thing. It's Thursday. It's finals week. After getting there, we're immediately surrounded by a whirlwind of drunk asian college students trying to get their after pbbg burrito fix. I suddenly feel extremely old. We get our orders and book it. Pull by Ralphs to get some drinks, drive around the UTC area to show Jon my old stomping grounds and head back to the hotel. Eat food. Chill. Sleep around 4am.
Friday - So much for breakfast. Get up around noon. Get lunch in La Jolla at the Cottage. I had the crabcake salad. Hella good. Headed down the street to this place I saw in a magazine called "The Cookie Lady". Ate cookies and lemon bars. Hella good as well. We then hit up La Jolla Shores, and then campus where I showed them around different parts. Dude, students there have it HELLA better than I did. grrr. After that we headed to a dinner at Sushi Ota. HELLA good. In addition to our meals, we got some kobe beef tartar, toki sake (wild salmon...very rare apparently), a toro special, and two cuts of "o-toro". Plus some really good sake, "Masumi". Good shit. After that headed back to the hotel, grabbed a drink and crashed out.
Saturday - Again, so much for breakfast. Hit up the zoo, got some cafeteria quality lunch there, then checked out the entire zoo. That took many hours, but was well worth it to see..a lot animals hiding behind hills and not looking in our direction. Anyways, after that we went to dinner at Phils bbq. There was a long ass line, but I lucky to find out that we could go into the bar and NOT wait. Awesome. we got HELLA food again, which was delicious of course. Way better than I remember. After dinner we headed back to the hotel, where I vowed I would get up to work out, then promptly fell asleep.
Sunday - Woke up early to get breakfast at Brockton Villa in La Jolla. Last time I was here I had a horrible experience due to the people that I was eating with (I'm not going to call out names, but I'm simply stating the fact that it was the most unpleasant awkward meal I've ever had with people I knew), but this time it was awesome. The coast toast seemed to taste better, the omlette I had was really good, and catching up with my friend Justin was fucking awesome. He hasn't changed a bit...still really friendly, funny, and quick with the wit and a good story. After that we headed to the Scripps acqurium which I had never been to. It's cool for it's size. There I saw a hot mom.
Okay..another digression. Attention to all you moms of newborns out there. Please do not wear sexy wear of any kind. No short skirts, no lowcut tops, no makeup, no nothing. If you have a kid, you are only allowed to wear the following things:
1) Men's pants
2) Neck to ankle dresses
3) Mumu's
4) Pantsuits
5) Anything unflattering or unsexy
The reason why, is because a kid is like the ultimate in me thinking "okay nope!". It's a bigger "nope!" than seeing a ring on your finger. Because a kid means you're probably married, and compared to me you're now an old lady. Yup I said it. And thus, in other words, you aren't allowed to appear as even a blip on my radar screen. If I see you in your low cut top and sexy shorts and you're hot, I'm gonna register that hotness before I see the stroller and kid and husband behind you. NOT COOL. So turn around, go back home, and put on that jumpsuit with matching crocs you've had your eye on for a while. Cuz I'm not looking for girls with kids. I'm looking for girls who have permanent beer goggles with nothing to lose looking for a guy that will make them feel like going back to their ex (the one who lives with his mom and has a tattoo of a video game character on his stomach)
Anyways back to it. So after that we headed to Lolitas for a california burrito, and then finally to the airport.
Good trip. Good friends. Good food. Good times. My apologies to Jon and Brendan for the shitty times in the past and I hope this made up for it. If not, well, go fuck yourselves.
Going to SD has made me really want to go back again. I will be visiting again sooner than later. Going down to SD has also made me realize that college is heaven and now it's over. A place where I didn't have to work, had a ton of friends who all lived in the general area, and was surrounded by cute girls all around my age. That was awesome. and now here I am. ready to retire and then die. I know what you're thinking: "Don't look so happy"
- - -
Do you know what hell is? Hell is many things. It's being forced to listen to that fucking "Loney stoner" song (btw, wtf is that shit? "Lonely stoner"??? Why not just call the song "Emo Thug", you wanna-be ghetto hipster crapathon?) It's sitting next to a loud fob family on a 4 hour flight. But one of things it DEFINITELY is is someone snoring when sharing a room with you. Like Kurupt, I'm calling out names. On this trip, Brendan was snoring like he was trying to win a prize. He kept Jon up, which is beyond ironic because jon used to snore a lot, but stopped. Seriously, you have no idea. His snores were epic and unstoppable. No amount of hits, cussing, yelling would stop it. So the following night I take away the extra pillows. No good. I tell him to sleep on his stomach. No good. It was AMAZING. If this happens on any vegas trips, I will pull an ari and start kicking dude in the face. you know how they say snoring is like sawing logs? There were a couple that were like it was petrified wood..and the electric saw got stuck in the wood. It was a work of art. Place your bets. Or somethingggggggg.
- - -
I recently finished a book called "Things I Learned from Women that Dumped Me". Edited by Ben Karlin. It's basically a collection of short stories or "lessons" from various comedians and artists. It's AWESOME. It's right up my alley. Some of the stories are really funny, some are pretty depressing, some of them are hopefully, most are sarcastic, but all of them are awesome. I think one guy says it best: It is crucial to bear in mind that even after a lifetime of such learning experiences, you will never understand the first thing about women. Do not delude yourself about this. Guy's who claim to understand everything about women are like Kansas school boards that cliam to understand everything about the creation of the world".
Think of my other blog, but with actual good writing. I recommend this book to everyone, even the ignorant morons hat are currently in relationships. Just kidding, you know I hat- i mean love you.
I purposely didn't tell anyone that I was going down to SD (sorry) so that I wouldn't do any additional ditch sessions like i did when they first came to visit. I did meet up with my old roommate Justin but that's because he had tried to get a hold of me when he came up here a few weeks ago, and I haven't seen dude in over 6 years. To everyone else, we'll chill next time I come down, which will be sooner than later. If I still don't contact you when I come down next, you can pretty much assume that I now hate you.
Here's how it went:
Jon was able to score a pretty fucking nice hotel right next to Petco park via Priceline (props to Shattner). The place was called Omni, and was pretty damn nice. The only weird thing was it had a sliding door for the bathroom door. And it was away from the wall. So there was always big gaps on either side of the door when it was closed. That meant that anyone walking by the door would get a penis show. But the bathroom was right next to the front door, which meant there was no reason anyone in the room should be over there, which meant that if anyone did walk by there, they were purposely trying to glimpse, which was an indirectly direct way of saying that they were gay. Done.
Thursday - Meet at the airport. Flight is packed (fuck). I hate packed flights. Why? Because of my curse.
See I have this curse that no matter what, I'm going to sit next to, behind, in front of, an annoying fuck. This annoying fuck can be a large person (a fat annoying fuck), someone who kicks the seat behind me (rude annoying fuck), a group of loud people (bunch of annoying fucks), or a crying kid (a little annoying baby bitch fuck). I just have bad luck in this regard. And sure enough..
So on the flight over, three LOUD, ANNOYING asian late teens/early 20 somethings sat behind us. You know, I never understood people that talk loud. Why do people talk loud??? Especially if you're sitting RIGHT NEXT to the person you're talking to. And if you're going to talk loud, and you're in a crowded area that's quite, and has kids, for fuck's sake, don't swear. Also, these three outstanding individuals laughed loud too. And two of them, the guys, had loud GUFFAW kind of laughs. Okay, now add one more thing. Add annoying wanna-be ghetto slang to these loud voices WHILE they're guffawing. Amazing. The whole flight was kind of like this...
Person 1: YO MAN WHY THE FUCK YOU NOT TELL ME THE SEAT BELT SIGN WAS ON?
Person 2: HAHAH. CUZ YOU STOOPID. HAW..HAW..HAW!!!
Person 1: YO MAN YOU REMEMBER WHEN (tells story about how so and so threw up outside of a club)
Person 3: HAHAHA AND YOU WERE PUKING IN A BAG
Person 2: HAW-HAW-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-I'M-SAYIN'-FOO!-HAW-HAW-HAW!!!
Person 1: HAW!! HAW!!! HAW!!!
This curse will exist as long as I have a full flight. It shows no mercy.
Here's another thing about flights. I love it when people come in with a full bag that doesn't fit in the overhead compartments. Unless you've NEVER flown with that bag before, which if that is the case then i better see some brand new tags on it like how people used to do with their hats in the 90s, then why would you assume that THIS time it'll fit??? Ugh. Maybe you need to go on the short plane that leaves the airport early at like 2:30pm while the rest of us leave at 4:30pm after the second recess.
Plus, someone farted on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Anyways, we get there. Brendan's stomach is jacked so he crashes immediately. Meanwhile, I take Jon to see the magic that is Roberto's (#2 of course). But I forget one thing. It's Thursday. It's finals week. After getting there, we're immediately surrounded by a whirlwind of drunk asian college students trying to get their after pbbg burrito fix. I suddenly feel extremely old. We get our orders and book it. Pull by Ralphs to get some drinks, drive around the UTC area to show Jon my old stomping grounds and head back to the hotel. Eat food. Chill. Sleep around 4am.
Friday - So much for breakfast. Get up around noon. Get lunch in La Jolla at the Cottage. I had the crabcake salad. Hella good. Headed down the street to this place I saw in a magazine called "The Cookie Lady". Ate cookies and lemon bars. Hella good as well. We then hit up La Jolla Shores, and then campus where I showed them around different parts. Dude, students there have it HELLA better than I did. grrr. After that we headed to a dinner at Sushi Ota. HELLA good. In addition to our meals, we got some kobe beef tartar, toki sake (wild salmon...very rare apparently), a toro special, and two cuts of "o-toro". Plus some really good sake, "Masumi". Good shit. After that headed back to the hotel, grabbed a drink and crashed out.
Saturday - Again, so much for breakfast. Hit up the zoo, got some cafeteria quality lunch there, then checked out the entire zoo. That took many hours, but was well worth it to see..a lot animals hiding behind hills and not looking in our direction. Anyways, after that we went to dinner at Phils bbq. There was a long ass line, but I lucky to find out that we could go into the bar and NOT wait. Awesome. we got HELLA food again, which was delicious of course. Way better than I remember. After dinner we headed back to the hotel, where I vowed I would get up to work out, then promptly fell asleep.
Sunday - Woke up early to get breakfast at Brockton Villa in La Jolla. Last time I was here I had a horrible experience due to the people that I was eating with (I'm not going to call out names, but I'm simply stating the fact that it was the most unpleasant awkward meal I've ever had with people I knew), but this time it was awesome. The coast toast seemed to taste better, the omlette I had was really good, and catching up with my friend Justin was fucking awesome. He hasn't changed a bit...still really friendly, funny, and quick with the wit and a good story. After that we headed to the Scripps acqurium which I had never been to. It's cool for it's size. There I saw a hot mom.
Okay..another digression. Attention to all you moms of newborns out there. Please do not wear sexy wear of any kind. No short skirts, no lowcut tops, no makeup, no nothing. If you have a kid, you are only allowed to wear the following things:
1) Men's pants
2) Neck to ankle dresses
3) Mumu's
4) Pantsuits
5) Anything unflattering or unsexy
The reason why, is because a kid is like the ultimate in me thinking "okay nope!". It's a bigger "nope!" than seeing a ring on your finger. Because a kid means you're probably married, and compared to me you're now an old lady. Yup I said it. And thus, in other words, you aren't allowed to appear as even a blip on my radar screen. If I see you in your low cut top and sexy shorts and you're hot, I'm gonna register that hotness before I see the stroller and kid and husband behind you. NOT COOL. So turn around, go back home, and put on that jumpsuit with matching crocs you've had your eye on for a while. Cuz I'm not looking for girls with kids. I'm looking for girls who have permanent beer goggles with nothing to lose looking for a guy that will make them feel like going back to their ex (the one who lives with his mom and has a tattoo of a video game character on his stomach)
Anyways back to it. So after that we headed to Lolitas for a california burrito, and then finally to the airport.
Good trip. Good friends. Good food. Good times. My apologies to Jon and Brendan for the shitty times in the past and I hope this made up for it. If not, well, go fuck yourselves.
Going to SD has made me really want to go back again. I will be visiting again sooner than later. Going down to SD has also made me realize that college is heaven and now it's over. A place where I didn't have to work, had a ton of friends who all lived in the general area, and was surrounded by cute girls all around my age. That was awesome. and now here I am. ready to retire and then die. I know what you're thinking: "Don't look so happy"
- - -
Do you know what hell is? Hell is many things. It's being forced to listen to that fucking "Loney stoner" song (btw, wtf is that shit? "Lonely stoner"??? Why not just call the song "Emo Thug", you wanna-be ghetto hipster crapathon?) It's sitting next to a loud fob family on a 4 hour flight. But one of things it DEFINITELY is is someone snoring when sharing a room with you. Like Kurupt, I'm calling out names. On this trip, Brendan was snoring like he was trying to win a prize. He kept Jon up, which is beyond ironic because jon used to snore a lot, but stopped. Seriously, you have no idea. His snores were epic and unstoppable. No amount of hits, cussing, yelling would stop it. So the following night I take away the extra pillows. No good. I tell him to sleep on his stomach. No good. It was AMAZING. If this happens on any vegas trips, I will pull an ari and start kicking dude in the face. you know how they say snoring is like sawing logs? There were a couple that were like it was petrified wood..and the electric saw got stuck in the wood. It was a work of art. Place your bets. Or somethingggggggg.
- - -
I recently finished a book called "Things I Learned from Women that Dumped Me". Edited by Ben Karlin. It's basically a collection of short stories or "lessons" from various comedians and artists. It's AWESOME. It's right up my alley. Some of the stories are really funny, some are pretty depressing, some of them are hopefully, most are sarcastic, but all of them are awesome. I think one guy says it best: It is crucial to bear in mind that even after a lifetime of such learning experiences, you will never understand the first thing about women. Do not delude yourself about this. Guy's who claim to understand everything about women are like Kansas school boards that cliam to understand everything about the creation of the world".
Think of my other blog, but with actual good writing. I recommend this book to everyone, even the ignorant morons hat are currently in relationships. Just kidding, you know I hat- i mean love you.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
random thoughts
some rapid fire thoughts before I head back to this fucking report I have to write.
1 - I've realized that everyone on this planet above the age of 12 is a pompous asshole. Including me. Everyone is arrogant and no one will change their minds. People will argue for hours and hours and treat each other like "oh I know the RIGHT way to do this or that" and will not change their minds in the slightist. Doesn't this seems like a waste of time? If you're going to discuss/argue/etc with another person and you KNOW you're not going to change their mind and they're not going to change yours, then why waste time? Might as well just accept the fact that people do things differently and that's that. But regardless, it doesn't matter anyways because everyone is a pompous and arrogant. Everyone thinks that their way of doing everything is the right way. And no one has any want to change. It has to do with ego. That's how everyone is. Yes. Everyone you know. Your family your friends everybody. It's not an insult. It's a fact. So before you take the time and energy to tell someone how you think they should do something or question why they're doing something because you think you have a better way - remember that you're not changing anyone's mind and unless it's something super important, just go along your merry way and shut your face. That's what I do now. Life is so much easier that way.
2 - I was watching jeopardy and wheel of fortune. Or should I say that my parents always watch it and I end up watching it as well.
-I hate it when someone kicks major ass in jeopardy. Then they get to final jeopardy, and they bet a TINY ass amount so they're guaranteed a win. FUCK THAT SHIT. Bet it ALL. You think this is for fun? Play for keeps goddammit!. Even worse is when they bet some RANDOM ASS number. Like the person will have 14000, and their wager will be 391 dollars. dude, serious? That better be a shout out to your baby mama or your homies outside 7-11 or at least your pager code from back in the day. Otherwise...huh???
-I also like it when people pull their buzzer up to show alex and the crew that they're pushing their buzzer hella fast. Like that makes any different. "oh you're pushing that button hella fast so we'll give it to you". idiots.
-In wheel of fortune, why do people go to the show? I'm talking about the audience here. I mean at least if you go watch jeopardy you're seeing lots of trivia questions. If you go see wheel, you're watching overly happy people spell something and then lose in the last round. But yeah, you don't get any prizes, you don't get any refreshments, etc. So then WHY go???
-Do you have to clap and be happy when other people spin or when they win a round? I think it's a rule or something because if I was on there and someone else won, I wouldn't be clapping and I sure as hell wouldn't be smiling! Furthermore, I wouldn't clap when they're spinning because I would WANT them to get bankrupt. You think I'm playing this shit for fun? If you lose, I win, son! I'd be hitting the railing yelling "Let's SEE THAT BANKRUPT SON".
-Some people don't say "I'll spin" or they don't wait until Mrs. White has finished showing the letters before spinning. Isn't that kind of rude? I'd like just once to see Pat have a bad day and when someone does that he sighs and says hella sarcastically "okay, I guess you're going to spin... mother fucker" or even just "ooookay".
3 - Here are some basic truths, with some description so you dont think I'm a prick...or a bigger prick.
a) No, I don't want to hold your damn potato sack. Now that I'm at the age where people are having kids or are around children, people will ask "hey do you want to hold him/her/it?" I will politely decline. The person will then say "no come on, hold him/her/it" and push them into my arms. Let me be clear. I'm not super comfy around kids. I am incapable of doing the "baby" voice and I refused to do it until I have a kid. And even then, I will only do it around my kids. Anyone who knows me knows that when I am put into the same area as a kid and forced to talk to them, I will talk to them like I talk to an adult. Let me give you some examples:
Regular person (in a baby voice): "Hel-lo! Why hel-lo!! You're so cute, yes you are!"
Me (in a regular voice): [looking at baby] wsup. what you doing. how's that finger. Oh you're just gonna drool over your hand like that? Crazy.
Regular person: "what's wrong...? are you tired??? they must be tired"
Me: ...... [thinking: shut your damn kid up. If your kid is gonna cry take them the fuck outside jesus christ]
Regular person: "uh oh! somebody needs to be changed!"
Me: "oh dang you straight pooped your pants. Like that. Right in front of me. You crazy. [laughts]"
See? I don't hate or dislike kids. I just can't do that baby talk shit.
BTW, let me go on a tangent right here. YO FOBS WITH KIDS (NOT ALL OF YOU, BUT MOST OF YOU...SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO BE FAIR ELLE OH ELLE). Yeah. I can say this because I'm asian. Why you gotta let your kids run rampant in public places and shit? How come you gotta let you kids yell and scream and bother other people and you don't do shit because you're too busy eating with your mouth open and talking to the other adults in your group? Do you HAVE ANY IDEA how fucking rude that shit is??? Do you realize that by not paying attention to what the fuck your kids are doing you're not only being rude, but you're also putting your kids in danger? The kid could get hurt or kidnapped and you wouldn't even know because you're not paying fucking attention because you're more interested in going back to salad bar to make sure you get your money's worth. And if you think I'm being out of line, please write to your congressperson because only you can prevent forest fires.
Anyways, back to my main point. Why do you think I want to hold your kid? I dont. If you say "I need a break. can you hold him/her?" then that's one thing. But I find no joy in holding your kid. I'll chill with him on the couch and shoot the shit with him, but I don't want to hold a puke/shit timebomb. And if mother fucker starts crying you better come running over cuz I'm dropping him REAL quick.
b) No one cares about your relationship except you and the person you're swapping spit with. Okay, let me be perfectly clear here. I'm not saying that I don't want to hear from a friend about the status of their relationship. But don't brag. Especially if I don't ask. If you brag about the small happy shit, then the more I don't care. Example time! (so people don't get butthurt). If you send me an email and tell me that you have the best gf/bf in the world and they're fucking hot (and yes this has happened multiple times from multiple people), what am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to think? Because let's be real real generalizing here. The logic side says: I will want to deal with the most immediately problems and sitautions in my life which probably do not include your relationship. The more emo side says: I'm jealous. The brash side says: Am I getting laid due to your relationship? No. so then I don't care. I know people in love like to scream to the heavens when they're in love, but remember, being in a relationship is like pissing your pants: Only you can feel it's warmth. Everyone else think it's gross when you talk about it, and most don't want to know.
3 - delfina in SF has really really really good pizza. And the ice cream place down the street has really good ice cream. It's too bad I won't be eating anything remotely like that until oct.
okay..back to work.
1 - I've realized that everyone on this planet above the age of 12 is a pompous asshole. Including me. Everyone is arrogant and no one will change their minds. People will argue for hours and hours and treat each other like "oh I know the RIGHT way to do this or that" and will not change their minds in the slightist. Doesn't this seems like a waste of time? If you're going to discuss/argue/etc with another person and you KNOW you're not going to change their mind and they're not going to change yours, then why waste time? Might as well just accept the fact that people do things differently and that's that. But regardless, it doesn't matter anyways because everyone is a pompous and arrogant. Everyone thinks that their way of doing everything is the right way. And no one has any want to change. It has to do with ego. That's how everyone is. Yes. Everyone you know. Your family your friends everybody. It's not an insult. It's a fact. So before you take the time and energy to tell someone how you think they should do something or question why they're doing something because you think you have a better way - remember that you're not changing anyone's mind and unless it's something super important, just go along your merry way and shut your face. That's what I do now. Life is so much easier that way.
2 - I was watching jeopardy and wheel of fortune. Or should I say that my parents always watch it and I end up watching it as well.
-I hate it when someone kicks major ass in jeopardy. Then they get to final jeopardy, and they bet a TINY ass amount so they're guaranteed a win. FUCK THAT SHIT. Bet it ALL. You think this is for fun? Play for keeps goddammit!. Even worse is when they bet some RANDOM ASS number. Like the person will have 14000, and their wager will be 391 dollars. dude, serious? That better be a shout out to your baby mama or your homies outside 7-11 or at least your pager code from back in the day. Otherwise...huh???
-I also like it when people pull their buzzer up to show alex and the crew that they're pushing their buzzer hella fast. Like that makes any different. "oh you're pushing that button hella fast so we'll give it to you". idiots.
-In wheel of fortune, why do people go to the show? I'm talking about the audience here. I mean at least if you go watch jeopardy you're seeing lots of trivia questions. If you go see wheel, you're watching overly happy people spell something and then lose in the last round. But yeah, you don't get any prizes, you don't get any refreshments, etc. So then WHY go???
-Do you have to clap and be happy when other people spin or when they win a round? I think it's a rule or something because if I was on there and someone else won, I wouldn't be clapping and I sure as hell wouldn't be smiling! Furthermore, I wouldn't clap when they're spinning because I would WANT them to get bankrupt. You think I'm playing this shit for fun? If you lose, I win, son! I'd be hitting the railing yelling "Let's SEE THAT BANKRUPT SON".
-Some people don't say "I'll spin" or they don't wait until Mrs. White has finished showing the letters before spinning. Isn't that kind of rude? I'd like just once to see Pat have a bad day and when someone does that he sighs and says hella sarcastically "okay, I guess you're going to spin... mother fucker" or even just "ooookay".
3 - Here are some basic truths, with some description so you dont think I'm a prick...or a bigger prick.
a) No, I don't want to hold your damn potato sack. Now that I'm at the age where people are having kids or are around children, people will ask "hey do you want to hold him/her/it?" I will politely decline. The person will then say "no come on, hold him/her/it" and push them into my arms. Let me be clear. I'm not super comfy around kids. I am incapable of doing the "baby" voice and I refused to do it until I have a kid. And even then, I will only do it around my kids. Anyone who knows me knows that when I am put into the same area as a kid and forced to talk to them, I will talk to them like I talk to an adult. Let me give you some examples:
Regular person (in a baby voice): "Hel-lo! Why hel-lo!! You're so cute, yes you are!"
Me (in a regular voice): [looking at baby] wsup. what you doing. how's that finger. Oh you're just gonna drool over your hand like that? Crazy.
Regular person: "what's wrong...? are you tired??? they must be tired"
Me: ...... [thinking: shut your damn kid up. If your kid is gonna cry take them the fuck outside jesus christ]
Regular person: "uh oh! somebody needs to be changed!"
Me: "oh dang you straight pooped your pants. Like that. Right in front of me. You crazy. [laughts]"
See? I don't hate or dislike kids. I just can't do that baby talk shit.
BTW, let me go on a tangent right here. YO FOBS WITH KIDS (NOT ALL OF YOU, BUT MOST OF YOU...SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO BE FAIR ELLE OH ELLE). Yeah. I can say this because I'm asian. Why you gotta let your kids run rampant in public places and shit? How come you gotta let you kids yell and scream and bother other people and you don't do shit because you're too busy eating with your mouth open and talking to the other adults in your group? Do you HAVE ANY IDEA how fucking rude that shit is??? Do you realize that by not paying attention to what the fuck your kids are doing you're not only being rude, but you're also putting your kids in danger? The kid could get hurt or kidnapped and you wouldn't even know because you're not paying fucking attention because you're more interested in going back to salad bar to make sure you get your money's worth. And if you think I'm being out of line, please write to your congressperson because only you can prevent forest fires.
Anyways, back to my main point. Why do you think I want to hold your kid? I dont. If you say "I need a break. can you hold him/her?" then that's one thing. But I find no joy in holding your kid. I'll chill with him on the couch and shoot the shit with him, but I don't want to hold a puke/shit timebomb. And if mother fucker starts crying you better come running over cuz I'm dropping him REAL quick.
b) No one cares about your relationship except you and the person you're swapping spit with. Okay, let me be perfectly clear here. I'm not saying that I don't want to hear from a friend about the status of their relationship. But don't brag. Especially if I don't ask. If you brag about the small happy shit, then the more I don't care. Example time! (so people don't get butthurt). If you send me an email and tell me that you have the best gf/bf in the world and they're fucking hot (and yes this has happened multiple times from multiple people), what am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to think? Because let's be real real generalizing here. The logic side says: I will want to deal with the most immediately problems and sitautions in my life which probably do not include your relationship. The more emo side says: I'm jealous. The brash side says: Am I getting laid due to your relationship? No. so then I don't care. I know people in love like to scream to the heavens when they're in love, but remember, being in a relationship is like pissing your pants: Only you can feel it's warmth. Everyone else think it's gross when you talk about it, and most don't want to know.
3 - delfina in SF has really really really good pizza. And the ice cream place down the street has really good ice cream. It's too bad I won't be eating anything remotely like that until oct.
okay..back to work.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Puppy power!
yes, well...I have changed my mind. I will be buying a puppy as soon as possible.
http://puppypullingpower.wordpress.com
Awesome experiment.
the funny thing is, I always thought that pugs were ugly as shit. I think the reason why is because when i was taking judo when i was younger, this lady would bring her ugly ass pug to the place where we practiced. and she would let the damn dog drink out of the public water fountain! What the hell! People drink out of there! And the pug would chase people around and when it breathed/barked it sounded like an old person who had been smoking too much. So yeah..
but now, I see the powers of the pug puppy. I'm sorry, pugs! Forgive me!!!
In actuality though, I think pugs aren't that bad. Just that one ugly pug that lady had.
I think though, that if I were to actually get a puppy I'd go with a shiba inu, a beagle, or a retriever/lab mix. Or, of course, a pug.
Watching the movies, I've also realized that if you have a puppy, and a male friend has a puppy, and you walk them together, one might think that it would be twice the pulling power since there are two of you and two puppies, right? Wrong. It just makes you look like a homosexual couple walking their puppies together.
http://puppypullingpower.wordpress.com
Awesome experiment.
the funny thing is, I always thought that pugs were ugly as shit. I think the reason why is because when i was taking judo when i was younger, this lady would bring her ugly ass pug to the place where we practiced. and she would let the damn dog drink out of the public water fountain! What the hell! People drink out of there! And the pug would chase people around and when it breathed/barked it sounded like an old person who had been smoking too much. So yeah..
but now, I see the powers of the pug puppy. I'm sorry, pugs! Forgive me!!!
In actuality though, I think pugs aren't that bad. Just that one ugly pug that lady had.
I think though, that if I were to actually get a puppy I'd go with a shiba inu, a beagle, or a retriever/lab mix. Or, of course, a pug.
Watching the movies, I've also realized that if you have a puppy, and a male friend has a puppy, and you walk them together, one might think that it would be twice the pulling power since there are two of you and two puppies, right? Wrong. It just makes you look like a homosexual couple walking their puppies together.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Readingz book Iz PhuN
I have acquired a new found interest in reading again. When I start reading a book, I tend to not be able to put it down. I just finished reading the novel Trauma by Patrick Mcgrath. I happened upon it by chance; I had gone to Borders to pick up a cookbook by Tyler Florence, and a poetry book by Mary Oliver and was killing time before I met up with Mel. I was walking by a wall of suggested books and I picked up two additional ones (Trauma, as well as my next endeavor, Whatever Makes You Happy by William Sutcliffe. I thumbed through both of them before buying them, and I liked how the authors wrote. I also realized how long it's been since I had read a good fiction novel, which probably also pushed me to buy them.
The story was really good! Very interesting. I could not put it down and finished it in three days. The story is about a man dealing with his issues and how they had affected his life. There were times where I got so into the story, into the words, that my eyes would open wide while I was reading and I'd feel as through I was soaking in every letter in every word on the printed page.
I swear, I psychoanalyze everything in my life, and I thoroughly enjoyed this book, as it described in great detail excellent examples of how people deal with their problems and how they try to justify, mediate, solve, and tolerate. The main character is a mess of thoughts, emotions, and justifications, and it's easy to lose yourself in his story of attemps to balance between numb indifference and trying to find what he wants.
In related thoughts,
I enjoy doing things that push me to think. Especially in my current perspective on life. I no longer do things to keep me busy, but to pull as much as I can out of the experience. Thinking leads to learning which leads to changing/growing. On the other hand, I think too much as it is, and as Chris Rock put it, "If ignorance is bliss, then what's the opposite? Knowing everything at once. That's hell.". However, I will say that I think in the past, especially on this blog, I would attempt to use this online medium as a way to convince myself of behavioral/personality growth. I don't feel that way anymore. I think the difference is I believe what I write before I type it out rather than the other way around.
I am always impressed at the length's to which we humans go to make ourselves feel some kind of worth -- but not even that. But are these events truly worth-giving, or just distractions? I don't know.
I find it ironic that there is not one person alive who is not suffering as a result of their issues/problems, and yet none of us listen to one another, and none of us can understand/relate each other. This is not a pessimistic opinion. It's a objective fact.
Reading is good. Stay in school kids.
And finally, seriously, is there anything as good as jello? Seriously? I doubt it.
Another boring week begins.
The story was really good! Very interesting. I could not put it down and finished it in three days. The story is about a man dealing with his issues and how they had affected his life. There were times where I got so into the story, into the words, that my eyes would open wide while I was reading and I'd feel as through I was soaking in every letter in every word on the printed page.
I swear, I psychoanalyze everything in my life, and I thoroughly enjoyed this book, as it described in great detail excellent examples of how people deal with their problems and how they try to justify, mediate, solve, and tolerate. The main character is a mess of thoughts, emotions, and justifications, and it's easy to lose yourself in his story of attemps to balance between numb indifference and trying to find what he wants.
In related thoughts,
I enjoy doing things that push me to think. Especially in my current perspective on life. I no longer do things to keep me busy, but to pull as much as I can out of the experience. Thinking leads to learning which leads to changing/growing. On the other hand, I think too much as it is, and as Chris Rock put it, "If ignorance is bliss, then what's the opposite? Knowing everything at once. That's hell.". However, I will say that I think in the past, especially on this blog, I would attempt to use this online medium as a way to convince myself of behavioral/personality growth. I don't feel that way anymore. I think the difference is I believe what I write before I type it out rather than the other way around.
I am always impressed at the length's to which we humans go to make ourselves feel some kind of worth -- but not even that. But are these events truly worth-giving, or just distractions? I don't know.
I find it ironic that there is not one person alive who is not suffering as a result of their issues/problems, and yet none of us listen to one another, and none of us can understand/relate each other. This is not a pessimistic opinion. It's a objective fact.
Reading is good. Stay in school kids.
And finally, seriously, is there anything as good as jello? Seriously? I doubt it.
Another boring week begins.
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