Bachelor Party

It's been a while since I've been to vegas, so minh's bachelor party was a nice excuse to get out there. Granted it was a bit different since it was a bachelor party, but as time went out, the whole schedule was thrown out the door and everyone just went and had fun. This weekend was fun because I can't remember the last time I went to Vegas to just straight PARTY. Like, lose your keys because you're so drunk party. Like, walk back to the wrong hotel room drunk party.

Anyways, here's how it went down. (Parts may have been edited out or changed)

Thursday:
-Flew in to San Diego.

-The curse continues. I luckily got the last seat in the first group. As I sat down, I saw a couple bringing in their two small children. Like babies. I took one look at that and I was like..."oh snap, it's on". The kid looked at me as if to say "Yo bitch, it's on". Sure enough, 20 minutes into the flight, it's on. One of kids starts SCREAMING like he's trying to pass a kidney stone the size of a grapefruit. I cannot describe to you in words what this kid's crying sounded like. It was like the kind of sound you'd expect to hear from a human slowly transforming into a lizard man, all while having painful gas. The kid was crying and screaming so much he was 1) coughing at the end of each scream 2) was audibly inhaling to the fullest for the next scream. Everyone around him was getting pissed. In order to keep from joining the fuming masses, I decided that with each louder scream of lizard transformation, I would bump up the volume on my ipod. But he kept overpowering the music. Then I quietly tried to see if I could recreate the sound that the bipolar sack of potatoes was making, and I COULDN'T! That had me laughing pretty hard. The best part is, after each scream, I could hear the dad going "shh shh". Saying "shh shh" to a baby who's in the middle of trying to see if he can decrease the cabin pressure is kind of like peeing on a forest fire to put it out.

-Finally landed. Kid cried all the way out. Awesome. Met up with Alan at the airport and got some dinner here. Delicious sea kittens. I have to admit I haven't had a real fish sandwich before (no, fish filets from McD do not count). The fish was juicy and flavorful, and the sauce was amazingly good too. This is a "must return" place. We finished up, went to Bobby's place. Picked him up, and we were on our way.

-Met up with Minh at Ballys, where we had a competed room. We decided to preparty a bit, and had a few drinks. Alan had picked up all the supplies beforehand, so we didn't need to make an extra trip to the store. He brought this one rum called Mount Gay Rum. Yes, I know. But it's good. No, i know. But it sure makes for a smooth drink. Seriously. Buy some.

- After a few drinks, we walked over to Paris to get some food..they had this pretty good deal. It was like 9.99 for two eggs, two bacon, two pancakes. Considering everything else cost like 13.99 and up, it was a good score. Apparently the cook had no arms because the food took FOREVER to get to the table. Finally got food. Ate. Left.

-Decided to start gambling. Bally's doesn't exactly have a lot open for some reason, so we settled on some blackjack. This lady kicked the shit out of us. I'm talking like endless 20s, back to back dealer blackjacks, etc. Now here's the funny thing. After beating us seriously like 13 times in a row, she busts. Upon busting, she says "YES EVERYBODY WINS!", and then proceeds to put her fist out, looking for a happy fist bump. Yo. Lady. You taking pretty much all our money and then giving back 10 bucks of it isn't gonna earn you any love. In fact, I'm pretty sure the dealer pissed off the table even more by doing that.

-After gambling a bit, we headed back up. Everyone else crashed out, but I wasn't tired so I had a couple more drinks, then showered and headed to bed. Stupid 9 to 5ers.

Friday:
-woke up, headed to lunch at this japanese place called "Naked Sushi" or something like that. Again, the food took days to get to our table. But it was definitely worth the wait. The food was DEFINITELY legit. They also passed the "japanese restaurant test". You can do it too, next time you go to a japanese restaurant:
1) Look at the staff. Are they speaking Japanese? Or at the very least, are the waitresses? This is a good because that means that Japanese people go to this restaurant. If the waitresses are speaking korean, time to go!
2) Are there straight up Japanese salarymen and/or Japanese families speaking Japanese there? If so, score.
3) Is the menu also translated into Japanese? If so, score.
4) Is there bulgogi anywhere on the menu? If so, time to go!
5) Taste the miso soup. If it tastes like ass, your food will taste like ass, and it's time to go!
6) Is the menu nothing but bento box crap (teriyaki this, teriyaki that) and "Jive ass rolls" (rolls with fancy names which are pretty much glorified tempura and california rolls bc that's all that hakujin will eat)? Time to go!
7) Other bonus signs that the place is good: The sushi chef is a rude old Japanese man. They bring you a hot towel before the meal. They serve super authentic japanese food that you've never heard of and you think tastes gross when you get it. They serve onigiri with ume.

-met up with some other peoples. So this entire trip had two groups present: Minh's college friends and Minh's MBA buddies. Here's what I've learned about people with MBAs and/or work in marketing/business. Due to working long hours and earning a good amount of money, you are difinitely in the mindset of "I WORK HARD AND PLAY FUCKING HARDER". I won't go into details but holy shit when marketing people want to party, then crank up crazy to 10 and break off the knob.

-A few of us decided to go to the pool at the Palazzo. It was quite toasty. like 114 fucking degrees. It was so hot they were giving out free water and ice cream all over the place. When a hotel on the strip is giving out something free that isn't porn flyers and/or free dice/deck of cards, you know it's hot. Uncomfortable? Yes. Add to that the fact that the pool was mostly guys and ugly chicks. The one hot chick there was this asian girl who was chilling with some white dude. Plus a dude in a yellow thong decided to walk around the pool. Somewhere a baby seal cried, and I cried with him.

-after meeting up with the rest of the group, the MBA folks (who were all in one room) decided that their suite wasn't big enough. So they decided to upgrade. Then they decided that wasn't big enough. So they decided to upgrade again. When they were finally happy with their room, the rest of us headed up there. Let me just say that their room had a grand piano in it.

-Dinner at the wynn buffet. It was okay, but I think I'm officially done with the wynn buffet. I think the bellagio has a better one, but in general I feel like buffets are overkill. Throwing down close to 40 bucks for an assortment of "good but not great" food is kind of like..eh.

-After dinner, minh got super tired so he took a nap. After he woke up, we went to check out a museum nearby. Yup. There was a lot of interesting exhibits and I learned a lot. It was a weird museum that stayed open all hours of the day. We even got separate tour guides! My tour guide was this really cool girl. She was very outgoing and we talked a lot. She explained to me the history behind most of the pieces and what the artist was trying to convey in their works. Overall, an educational time, to say the least.

-We then hit the tables at TI, where apparently they did not get the memo that people do not like to lose money. BAH. Slowly the group dissipated as people got more and more tired. I finally called it quits when the table became empty. Headed back to the hotel. Grabbed a drink with Scott since he was the only one up.. Finally headed upstairs and crashed out around 6am.

Saturday:

-Woke up. Went to eat at First Foods @ the Palazzo. Got the turkey club with an egg added for a buck extra. VERY good. The other group caught up with us around then. A certain individual decided to join the group too after being gone for a bit.

-Took a small nap to recharge for the evening. Daytime naps in Vegas are the best.

-After a few hours, we headed to Tuscany's to do some more gambling before dinner. Craps. Session actually went pretty well with all of us cashing out with some profit. We played right up until we had to head to Lowry's for dinner (it was right across the street)

-Dinner at Lowry's. Fucking DELICIOUS. I'm seriously going to question going to steakhouses in vegas from now on. A juicy cut of prime rib with mashed potatoes, gravy, and bread. And it was only 37 bucks! That, my friends, is what you call a deal.

-After dinner we headed back to the hotel, changed, prepartied, and then decided to do the bar crawl. The MBA crew wanted to go clubbing instead, so they headed to XS. I wasn't really feeling a club, so we just walked around and got drinks. We started at the Palazzo and drank our way to Encore. By the time we got there, I was pretty damn drunk. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. We saw several NBA players, a SHITLOAD of smoking hot girls (to that smoking hot bachlorette I saw - don't do it! Give me a chance!!!!), and at Encore we had the coolest waitress ever. his, to me, was the highlight of the trip. Being drunk as shit with one of my best friends and a good number of my old college buddies made for a great time. We drank, talked about old times, and relaxed. A great, great, GREAT time.

-After getting thoroughly drunk, I decided it was time to head back to the hotel so that I could pack and gamble some before heading to the airport at 6AM. The entire group split up at this point, with people doing different things. Four of us went to go gamble some more at TI, which was definitely a mistake, because they still had not received that memo. However, it was damn fun. Note to self: Do not give anymore money to TI.

-Headed to the airport at around 6am. Flight wasnt until 750, so I had a good amount of time to wait. The flight back wasn't empty which i was pretty fucking pissed about. Who the fuck flies out so early on a fucking sunday??? I think from now on I'm going to take the LAST flight out if I leave on a sunday because when i leave vegas i want an EMPTY plane. The only perk of the flight back was i passed out for a good part of it, and there were two hot girls on the plane. But even if I had the balls/game to hit on a hot girl, the first flight out of vegas after staying up all night drinking and gambling is NOT the place to do it.

-Got home. Showered. Unpacked my shit. Laid down on my bed and SLEPT FOR YEARS.

Woke up the next morning and immediately wanted to go back to vegas. This is why I wish vegas was closer to the bay.

Lessons Learned:

-I love Vegas
-rolling to Vegas with your boys can sometimes be more fun than going with any girls. You don't have to worry about anyone and everyone is pretty much down to drink and gamble.
-just because you have a grand piano in your room does not mean it's better
-palazzo is a great place to stay if you have a large group
-Encore is a magnet for hot girls thanks to XS. Also, I'd like to thanks XS for being to popular and strict, thus making it so that the said hot girls will walk around encore instead.
-Prime rib vs steak.....hmmmm....
-If you don't like vegas, you don't like candy, xmas, and weekends.

I'm back

i'm back son.

I'll blog more later, but omg it feels good just to be writing in this screen again. Seriously.

things to blog about (so i don't forget)
-Bach party in vegas
-asian girls are racist (a repost from a while ago)
-losing weight is hard as hell
-why do i have to take a shit only when i'm in public.

Random thoughts in my head

I think the best part of moving out will definitely be having cell phone reception. What the fuck exactly is in my parent's roof??? Plutonium? A nuclear reactor? If I can sit under THREE floors of shit at work and still get reception, but can't sit under ONE roof at my house and NOT, then WTF. Seriously, I guess when my parents had the roof redone, I guess they opted for the PURE FUCKING METAL shingles.
- - -
The word is "FUCK", people. Not "FACK". When people say "FACK" it makes you sound like:
a) a wanna-be fob. I say wanna-be because every other word is fine except for one. That's like if you were talking to someone and 99% of their words were fine, but they would randomly say a word in a super fobby accent.
b) Like your parents are watching you type everywhere you go.
c) You want to swear, but don't want to swear at the same time. Dude, if you're gonna say it, THEN SAY IT. You're like the person who gets a large number 2 at Jack in the Box with curly fries, but then gets the diet coke because they want to "watch their diet". Dude, if you're gonna do it, go all the way. FACK. It's the new lame. If you're gonna say FACK, then you better be saying the following as well - SHET, BOTCH, AKKHOLE, and I'M STUPID.

*no offense to my friends who say FACK. But do realize you sound like a facking stupid akk. =D
- - -
Crazy. I can't believe Michael Jackson is dead. That's nuts. I found myself actually feeling pretty sad when I thought about it. I think it's because I listened to a lot of his music and I guess it just kind reminds you how you can be here one day and gone the next. I was listening to the radio and the DJ was talking about it and he got really choked up.

When I was young, I used to wonder why people older than me got so upset when like, John Lennon died or Kurt Cobain. I think I can understand why now.

Plus Farrah Fawcett died. Man...I had really hoped that somehow she could have pulled through. And right when her and Ryan O'Neal were gonna get married. Damn..so sad

Rest in peace Farrah, Michael, and Ed.
- - -
And as if today wasn't sad enough, I was poking around on youtube and I found this show on TLC called "I can make you thin". I remember hearing about this show. It's pretty interesting. It's very Tony Robbins-like, but the guy seems more down to earth (and the shit is free).

There's this one part that really stuck me though. This one guy in the studio audience stands up and he starts talking about how sad he is and how he's not good enough and he mentions how he knows how it is when you take a picture and you're smiling but inside you're not happy. Then he says, "I really wish I wasn't like this..." Then he breaks down. People are crying in the audience. Damn. HELLA sad. I really felt for the guy. I hate seeing people in pain and/or crying and hurting because it makes me tear up. Plus, I can relate to the guys feelings of not feeling good enough and shit like that..I think we all can.
- - -
On the way home from grabbing coffee with a friend, a fucking DOG is straight CHILLING in the offramp. It's not even scared. It's just walking casually. So me and a bunch of other cars have to SLAM on our brakes. and I shit you not, once I saw how chill it was and the fact that it was a Pomeranian, my second thought was that I should just run this stupid mother fucker over. But I didn't want to do a hit and run or get shit on my tires/hood.

If I see that dog again though, we're really gonna see if all fucking dogs go to heaven.
- - -
Still training. It's a bitch, but it's so worth it. I'm actually starting to like exercising. Gross, I know.
- - -
There are no more single girls in the bay area. It's done. Seriously. Plainly put:
If a girl is in the bay area--
a) if she's cute, she's taken
b) if she's cute and single, she's crazy and will kill you and eat your toenails
c) if she's cute and single and not crazy, she likes someone else
d) if she's cute and single and not crazy and doesn't like someone else, she looks at you like a brother
e) she's single and not crazy and doesn't like someone else and doesn't look at you like a brother,
she's either secretly a man or is plain ol' ugly.

I will die alone. But at least I'll have my toenails.
- - -

Help my friend out or I'll beat you up

So my friend Mel from UCSD is also a talented seamstress and has been running a small handbag business for a couple years now. She makes all the bags by hand, one by one. She busts her ass to make sure people are satsified with the final product. She's constantly going to all these shows to try to get orders. This is not someone trying to do a simple "get rich quick" thing - a lot of effort goes into every bag. And she does all this WHILE working full time.

Please check out her site and help support her. The bags are dope - modern patterns with a hawaiian or asian feel. All hand made and machine washable.

www.melinda-mae.com

If you're interested in buying one, let me know and I'll hook you up with a coupon code that friends of mine can use. Understand that that does NOT mean that I'm getting some kind of hookup because of it - this ain't no referral program. Mel doesn't make much off these bags - she does it because she ENJOYS doing it.

So tell your friends, tell your family. Fuck the 900 dollar prada bags and help support a small business instead.

And if you're too ghetto to pay for shipping, just let me know and I'LL cover your shipping. That's how much I want you to check out her stuff because it's the real deal. If I was a girl or gay, I'd be buying these bags like crazy. But then that wouldn't be fair to all the ladies of the world then, now would it? (Am I talking about the bags or me in that last sentence? You be the judge ;) )

Because the last thing I need in my life is a needy bitch

I hope that whoever I end up marrying (if/when) doesn't like dogs or doesn't mind if we don't have one because after living with a dog (my parents took into my grandpa's dog after he passed away) I will saw all my fingers off my right hand individually before I get a dog.

So sorry future shiba inu, beagle, or golden retriver/lab mix - you just disappeared from my future. And after all the yapping, the barking to go outside, waking me up every time the mail comes with a shitstorm of lightening-fast anger-inducing yaps, all from the unloving mutt that takes up space in my house, the only way I'd get a dog is if somsone proved to me that a dog i was considering was the friendliest mother fucker ever, would let himself out, feed himself, be fine for a weekend alone, and be so smart that at several times during the day I would have to remind myself that he/she doesn''t actually talk.

San Diego, Hell is a snoring roommate, A book for the ages

So this past weekend I went to San Diego with Jon and Brendan. Why? Because I owed them for being a shitty host when they came to visit me when I was in college. I showed them an extremely bad time, something which I was (rightfully) never able to live down. I, in my naivety, had not realized how angry they were in the past (again, i don't blame them), so as a way of making amends but more for just showing them the stuff that I should have shown them, I planned a trip to San Diego. Plus, now that I wasn't a starving college student, I wanted to go down there and eat at places that I probably wouldn't have gone to before.

I purposely didn't tell anyone that I was going down to SD (sorry) so that I wouldn't do any additional ditch sessions like i did when they first came to visit. I did meet up with my old roommate Justin but that's because he had tried to get a hold of me when he came up here a few weeks ago, and I haven't seen dude in over 6 years. To everyone else, we'll chill next time I come down, which will be sooner than later. If I still don't contact you when I come down next, you can pretty much assume that I now hate you.

Here's how it went:

Jon was able to score a pretty fucking nice hotel right next to Petco park via Priceline (props to Shattner). The place was called Omni, and was pretty damn nice. The only weird thing was it had a sliding door for the bathroom door. And it was away from the wall. So there was always big gaps on either side of the door when it was closed. That meant that anyone walking by the door would get a penis show. But the bathroom was right next to the front door, which meant there was no reason anyone in the room should be over there, which meant that if anyone did walk by there, they were purposely trying to glimpse, which was an indirectly direct way of saying that they were gay. Done.

Thursday - Meet at the airport. Flight is packed (fuck). I hate packed flights. Why? Because of my curse.

See I have this curse that no matter what, I'm going to sit next to, behind, in front of, an annoying fuck. This annoying fuck can be a large person (a fat annoying fuck), someone who kicks the seat behind me (rude annoying fuck), a group of loud people (bunch of annoying fucks), or a crying kid (a little annoying baby bitch fuck). I just have bad luck in this regard. And sure enough..

So on the flight over, three LOUD, ANNOYING asian late teens/early 20 somethings sat behind us. You know, I never understood people that talk loud. Why do people talk loud??? Especially if you're sitting RIGHT NEXT to the person you're talking to. And if you're going to talk loud, and you're in a crowded area that's quite, and has kids, for fuck's sake, don't swear. Also, these three outstanding individuals laughed loud too. And two of them, the guys, had loud GUFFAW kind of laughs. Okay, now add one more thing. Add annoying wanna-be ghetto slang to these loud voices WHILE they're guffawing. Amazing. The whole flight was kind of like this...

Person 1: YO MAN WHY THE FUCK YOU NOT TELL ME THE SEAT BELT SIGN WAS ON?
Person 2: HAHAH. CUZ YOU STOOPID. HAW..HAW..HAW!!!
Person 1: YO MAN YOU REMEMBER WHEN (tells story about how so and so threw up outside of a club)
Person 3: HAHAHA AND YOU WERE PUKING IN A BAG
Person 2: HAW-HAW-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-I'M-SAYIN'-FOO!-HAW-HAW-HAW!!!
Person 1: HAW!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

This curse will exist as long as I have a full flight. It shows no mercy.

Here's another thing about flights. I love it when people come in with a full bag that doesn't fit in the overhead compartments. Unless you've NEVER flown with that bag before, which if that is the case then i better see some brand new tags on it like how people used to do with their hats in the 90s, then why would you assume that THIS time it'll fit??? Ugh. Maybe you need to go on the short plane that leaves the airport early at like 2:30pm while the rest of us leave at 4:30pm after the second recess.

Plus, someone farted on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Anyways, we get there. Brendan's stomach is jacked so he crashes immediately. Meanwhile, I take Jon to see the magic that is Roberto's (#2 of course). But I forget one thing. It's Thursday. It's finals week. After getting there, we're immediately surrounded by a whirlwind of drunk asian college students trying to get their after pbbg burrito fix. I suddenly feel extremely old. We get our orders and book it. Pull by Ralphs to get some drinks, drive around the UTC area to show Jon my old stomping grounds and head back to the hotel. Eat food. Chill. Sleep around 4am.

Friday - So much for breakfast. Get up around noon. Get lunch in La Jolla at the Cottage. I had the crabcake salad. Hella good. Headed down the street to this place I saw in a magazine called "The Cookie Lady". Ate cookies and lemon bars. Hella good as well. We then hit up La Jolla Shores, and then campus where I showed them around different parts. Dude, students there have it HELLA better than I did. grrr. After that we headed to a dinner at Sushi Ota. HELLA good. In addition to our meals, we got some kobe beef tartar, toki sake (wild salmon...very rare apparently), a toro special, and two cuts of "o-toro". Plus some really good sake, "Masumi". Good shit. After that headed back to the hotel, grabbed a drink and crashed out.

Saturday - Again, so much for breakfast. Hit up the zoo, got some cafeteria quality lunch there, then checked out the entire zoo. That took many hours, but was well worth it to see..a lot animals hiding behind hills and not looking in our direction. Anyways, after that we went to dinner at Phils bbq. There was a long ass line, but I lucky to find out that we could go into the bar and NOT wait. Awesome. we got HELLA food again, which was delicious of course. Way better than I remember. After dinner we headed back to the hotel, where I vowed I would get up to work out, then promptly fell asleep.

Sunday - Woke up early to get breakfast at Brockton Villa in La Jolla. Last time I was here I had a horrible experience due to the people that I was eating with (I'm not going to call out names, but I'm simply stating the fact that it was the most unpleasant awkward meal I've ever had with people I knew), but this time it was awesome. The coast toast seemed to taste better, the omlette I had was really good, and catching up with my friend Justin was fucking awesome. He hasn't changed a bit...still really friendly, funny, and quick with the wit and a good story. After that we headed to the Scripps acqurium which I had never been to. It's cool for it's size. There I saw a hot mom.

Okay..another digression. Attention to all you moms of newborns out there. Please do not wear sexy wear of any kind. No short skirts, no lowcut tops, no makeup, no nothing. If you have a kid, you are only allowed to wear the following things:
1) Men's pants
2) Neck to ankle dresses
3) Mumu's
4) Pantsuits
5) Anything unflattering or unsexy
The reason why, is because a kid is like the ultimate in me thinking "okay nope!". It's a bigger "nope!" than seeing a ring on your finger. Because a kid means you're probably married, and compared to me you're now an old lady. Yup I said it. And thus, in other words, you aren't allowed to appear as even a blip on my radar screen. If I see you in your low cut top and sexy shorts and you're hot, I'm gonna register that hotness before I see the stroller and kid and husband behind you. NOT COOL. So turn around, go back home, and put on that jumpsuit with matching crocs you've had your eye on for a while. Cuz I'm not looking for girls with kids. I'm looking for girls who have permanent beer goggles with nothing to lose looking for a guy that will make them feel like going back to their ex (the one who lives with his mom and has a tattoo of a video game character on his stomach)

Anyways back to it. So after that we headed to Lolitas for a california burrito, and then finally to the airport.

Good trip. Good friends. Good food. Good times. My apologies to Jon and Brendan for the shitty times in the past and I hope this made up for it. If not, well, go fuck yourselves.

Going to SD has made me really want to go back again. I will be visiting again sooner than later. Going down to SD has also made me realize that college is heaven and now it's over. A place where I didn't have to work, had a ton of friends who all lived in the general area, and was surrounded by cute girls all around my age. That was awesome. and now here I am. ready to retire and then die. I know what you're thinking: "Don't look so happy"

- - -
Do you know what hell is? Hell is many things. It's being forced to listen to that fucking "Loney stoner" song (btw, wtf is that shit? "Lonely stoner"??? Why not just call the song "Emo Thug", you wanna-be ghetto hipster crapathon?) It's sitting next to a loud fob family on a 4 hour flight. But one of things it DEFINITELY is is someone snoring when sharing a room with you. Like Kurupt, I'm calling out names. On this trip, Brendan was snoring like he was trying to win a prize. He kept Jon up, which is beyond ironic because jon used to snore a lot, but stopped. Seriously, you have no idea. His snores were epic and unstoppable. No amount of hits, cussing, yelling would stop it. So the following night I take away the extra pillows. No good. I tell him to sleep on his stomach. No good. It was AMAZING. If this happens on any vegas trips, I will pull an ari and start kicking dude in the face. you know how they say snoring is like sawing logs? There were a couple that were like it was petrified wood..and the electric saw got stuck in the wood. It was a work of art. Place your bets. Or somethingggggggg.
- - -
I recently finished a book called "Things I Learned from Women that Dumped Me". Edited by Ben Karlin. It's basically a collection of short stories or "lessons" from various comedians and artists. It's AWESOME. It's right up my alley. Some of the stories are really funny, some are pretty depressing, some of them are hopefully, most are sarcastic, but all of them are awesome. I think one guy says it best: It is crucial to bear in mind that even after a lifetime of such learning experiences, you will never understand the first thing about women. Do not delude yourself about this. Guy's who claim to understand everything about women are like Kansas school boards that cliam to understand everything about the creation of the world".

Think of my other blog, but with actual good writing. I recommend this book to everyone, even the ignorant morons hat are currently in relationships. Just kidding, you know I hat- i mean love you.

random thoughts

some rapid fire thoughts before I head back to this fucking report I have to write.

1 - I've realized that everyone on this planet above the age of 12 is a pompous asshole. Including me. Everyone is arrogant and no one will change their minds. People will argue for hours and hours and treat each other like "oh I know the RIGHT way to do this or that" and will not change their minds in the slightist. Doesn't this seems like a waste of time? If you're going to discuss/argue/etc with another person and you KNOW you're not going to change their mind and they're not going to change yours, then why waste time? Might as well just accept the fact that people do things differently and that's that. But regardless, it doesn't matter anyways because everyone is a pompous and arrogant. Everyone thinks that their way of doing everything is the right way. And no one has any want to change. It has to do with ego. That's how everyone is. Yes. Everyone you know. Your family your friends everybody. It's not an insult. It's a fact. So before you take the time and energy to tell someone how you think they should do something or question why they're doing something because you think you have a better way - remember that you're not changing anyone's mind and unless it's something super important, just go along your merry way and shut your face. That's what I do now. Life is so much easier that way.

2 - I was watching jeopardy and wheel of fortune. Or should I say that my parents always watch it and I end up watching it as well.
-I hate it when someone kicks major ass in jeopardy. Then they get to final jeopardy, and they bet a TINY ass amount so they're guaranteed a win. FUCK THAT SHIT. Bet it ALL. You think this is for fun? Play for keeps goddammit!. Even worse is when they bet some RANDOM ASS number. Like the person will have 14000, and their wager will be 391 dollars. dude, serious? That better be a shout out to your baby mama or your homies outside 7-11 or at least your pager code from back in the day. Otherwise...huh???
-I also like it when people pull their buzzer up to show alex and the crew that they're pushing their buzzer hella fast. Like that makes any different. "oh you're pushing that button hella fast so we'll give it to you". idiots.
-In wheel of fortune, why do people go to the show? I'm talking about the audience here. I mean at least if you go watch jeopardy you're seeing lots of trivia questions. If you go see wheel, you're watching overly happy people spell something and then lose in the last round. But yeah, you don't get any prizes, you don't get any refreshments, etc. So then WHY go???
-Do you have to clap and be happy when other people spin or when they win a round? I think it's a rule or something because if I was on there and someone else won, I wouldn't be clapping and I sure as hell wouldn't be smiling! Furthermore, I wouldn't clap when they're spinning because I would WANT them to get bankrupt. You think I'm playing this shit for fun? If you lose, I win, son! I'd be hitting the railing yelling "Let's SEE THAT BANKRUPT SON".
-Some people don't say "I'll spin" or they don't wait until Mrs. White has finished showing the letters before spinning. Isn't that kind of rude? I'd like just once to see Pat have a bad day and when someone does that he sighs and says hella sarcastically "okay, I guess you're going to spin... mother fucker" or even just "ooookay".

3 - Here are some basic truths, with some description so you dont think I'm a prick...or a bigger prick.
a) No, I don't want to hold your damn potato sack. Now that I'm at the age where people are having kids or are around children, people will ask "hey do you want to hold him/her/it?" I will politely decline. The person will then say "no come on, hold him/her/it" and push them into my arms. Let me be clear. I'm not super comfy around kids. I am incapable of doing the "baby" voice and I refused to do it until I have a kid. And even then, I will only do it around my kids. Anyone who knows me knows that when I am put into the same area as a kid and forced to talk to them, I will talk to them like I talk to an adult. Let me give you some examples:

Regular person (in a baby voice): "Hel-lo! Why hel-lo!! You're so cute, yes you are!"
Me (in a regular voice): [looking at baby] wsup. what you doing. how's that finger. Oh you're just gonna drool over your hand like that? Crazy.

Regular person: "what's wrong...? are you tired??? they must be tired"
Me: ...... [thinking: shut your damn kid up. If your kid is gonna cry take them the fuck outside jesus christ]

Regular person: "uh oh! somebody needs to be changed!"
Me: "oh dang you straight pooped your pants. Like that. Right in front of me. You crazy. [laughts]"

See? I don't hate or dislike kids. I just can't do that baby talk shit.

BTW, let me go on a tangent right here. YO FOBS WITH KIDS (NOT ALL OF YOU, BUT MOST OF YOU...SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO BE FAIR ELLE OH ELLE). Yeah. I can say this because I'm asian. Why you gotta let your kids run rampant in public places and shit? How come you gotta let you kids yell and scream and bother other people and you don't do shit because you're too busy eating with your mouth open and talking to the other adults in your group? Do you HAVE ANY IDEA how fucking rude that shit is??? Do you realize that by not paying attention to what the fuck your kids are doing you're not only being rude, but you're also putting your kids in danger? The kid could get hurt or kidnapped and you wouldn't even know because you're not paying fucking attention because you're more interested in going back to salad bar to make sure you get your money's worth. And if you think I'm being out of line, please write to your congressperson because only you can prevent forest fires.

Anyways, back to my main point. Why do you think I want to hold your kid? I dont. If you say "I need a break. can you hold him/her?" then that's one thing. But I find no joy in holding your kid. I'll chill with him on the couch and shoot the shit with him, but I don't want to hold a puke/shit timebomb. And if mother fucker starts crying you better come running over cuz I'm dropping him REAL quick.

b) No one cares about your relationship except you and the person you're swapping spit with. Okay, let me be perfectly clear here. I'm not saying that I don't want to hear from a friend about the status of their relationship. But don't brag. Especially if I don't ask. If you brag about the small happy shit, then the more I don't care. Example time! (so people don't get butthurt). If you send me an email and tell me that you have the best gf/bf in the world and they're fucking hot (and yes this has happened multiple times from multiple people), what am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to think? Because let's be real real generalizing here. The logic side says: I will want to deal with the most immediately problems and sitautions in my life which probably do not include your relationship. The more emo side says: I'm jealous. The brash side says: Am I getting laid due to your relationship? No. so then I don't care. I know people in love like to scream to the heavens when they're in love, but remember, being in a relationship is like pissing your pants: Only you can feel it's warmth. Everyone else think it's gross when you talk about it, and most don't want to know.

3 - delfina in SF has really really really good pizza. And the ice cream place down the street has really good ice cream. It's too bad I won't be eating anything remotely like that until oct.

okay..back to work.