Here we go again.

Last Saturday I went to a club called "Rouge" in San Francisco. It was fucking SMALL. I mean, the way it look on the internet, they make it sound like it's the biggest, phattest club in the whole city. Nevertheless, i had a good time, even tho for 3/4ths of the time there were more guys than girls. I dunno..i think it was the most fun clubbing trip i've had thus far since i've come back. This was probably due to several reasons:

1) I had a lot of drinks, but I didn't get super drunk. I had two beers and two gin and tonics. With that amount and the amount that i've been drinking since i got back, i should have been stumbling drunk. But i was in this weird state of feeling okay, but also feeling very buzzed. Strange. Nevertheless it was cool because I could still dance, but I was buzzed. Very.
2) They played this one funk song that i really like. I never thought i'd hear it in a club, and i was buzzed enough that I tried popping in a public setting. The alcohol did a lot to numb the anxiety of popping in front of people, but i'm sure it still looked like shit. Oh wells, i had fun.
3) I danced a lot that night. i danced with Jon, Bryant, and Nat (okay, it's still funky dancing in a circle with more guys than girls, but whatevers i guess) and then i danced with Shan. Always good times. I rediscovered the "two step". Thank goodness. I was a little off (one of those nights), but the alcohol took care of that quick.

Things that make you go wtf:
1) So the bathroom at this place is TINY. One stall, one tiny sink, two urinals with no privacy walls [forced to break the urinal rule. sucks.] Anyways, I went to go piss. Some guy was in there and looking irritated..he was just waiting for the stall. Anyways, i hear voices, and then some shuffling, and then the stall door opens and these two guys come out together. I had to bite my tongue when I saw the guy who was waiting's face.
2) So near the end of the night, i was dancing, and this huge mexican guy starts dancing next to me and starts doing all these hand signals in my face [he was making a 3 or something..i have no idea]. So i put my hands up and look at him and say "wtf?" [ i was buzzed]. And he looks all hurt and turns away. I was very confused.
3) This tall mother fucker was DANCING WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE HIS HEAD [SEE PREVIOUS POST ABOUT GUY DANCING NO-NO'S] and he spills beer on me, Bryant, and Nat.
I shoulda headbutt his stomach.

Another commentary on guy's dancing...
TYPES OF GUY DANCERS. Just a few anyways...

1) THE STALKER (aka THE HUNTER, THE PROWLER, DUMBASS) So this is the guy who comes on to the dance floor by himself or with one or two other guys (wingmen, most likely) and then proceeds to find the nearest girl and start freaking her from behind. Usually he'll do this in a very obvious manner. And when the girl uses one of her "Rescue Tactics", and perhaps her friend will start to pull her away, the talker won't give up. He'll just move forward and keep grinding. He'll also try to put his hands on the girl (waist, etc.) which will quickly be smacked or pushed away. Once he's completely rejected by a girl or is subjected to a Rescue Tactic that is unfreakable [i.e. the girl protection sandwich, the rescue from another guy, or the "this is my boyfriend" tactic] then he'll move on to the next girl. He does this ALL NIGHT, and doesn't ever realize that THIS SHIT NEVER WORKS. He won't ask and he won't approach from the front. This is usually because, but not always, but usually, because he's ugly.

2) THE LONER (aka. THE PARTY OF ONE, THE WEIRD DANCER, THE GUY IN THE CORNER). This is the guy who comes to the club by himself. No other friends, no one. He comes by himself. period. He will usually look a little geeky, but that's not a necessity. This is the guy who looks like he didn't comb his hair or get ready to go to the club at all. It almost looks like he came off the street. Anyways, he stands in the corner, with lots of room around him. He will usually dance off beat, doing one of two styles: One that looks a lot like modern interpretive dance. [i.e. "i am a tree", "i am envy. See my pain..."]. He is in his own world. He is misunderstood by society. He is full of rage. He is mystery. Fear him. Hahaha. The other dance style is a wild style that has a whipping around of arms and legs. It is quite entertaining to watch, and will raise you dance ego immediately
BTW, you will never see any girls dance with this guy, although some girls will on a dare from their friends for free shots/drinks.

2a) THE OLD GUY IN THE CLUB (aka THE GRANDPA, THE DIRTY OLD GUY, THE "WAIT, HE'S NOT A BOUNCER???") There are always a few of these guys at every club. There is a general rule that I think is pretty understood. Once you turn 30, time to STOP CLUBBING. Then you hit cocktail lounges and dancehalls. Anyways, these guys will be at the club, not ever dancing, but standing against the wall or on the edge of the dancefloor with a drink in their hand. They are simply there to gawk at the eyecandy at the club. You do not want to be one of these. If you do become one, then you need to stay at home. If you are one, you need to stay at home. If you live with one, get them to stay home. If you are married to one, what were you thinking???

3) THE SPECIALIST (aka THE CROWDPLEASER, THE BREAKER, THE BATTLER) This is also a guy who you never see dancing with a girl, but this is because he's too busy battling other dancers. He creates a kind of inconvenience for the other dancers because he needs space to do his thing. He usually comes into a club wearing clothes that definitely does not meet the dress code standards, but he finds a way to get in anyways wearing his jeans and his beat up white adidas/nikes. Usually he'll come every week so he can get cool with the bouncers so they wont give him shit about his clothes and let him in. This is the guy is responsible for the "oooooOOOOOOHHHH" you hear from the crowd as well as having everyone stop dancing to watch. I'm bias tho, because i dont mind because i like breaking, locking, and especially popping.

4) THE COUPLES (aka THE OFF BEATS, THE VOMIT INDUCERS, THE PUNKASSES WHO KEEP ELBOWING YOU FROM BEHIND) So this isn't really one person but rather two -- this would be some couples that you see dancing on the dance floor in the club. They are clearly in their own world, or are at least dancing to a different beat than the rest of us, because they dance so off beat it's ridiculous. They have no consideration for those around them, because they constantly knock and bump into everyone around them. They really shitty ones hold hands as they dance which they hit into everyone, or the guy will hold the girl from behind, and in completely disregard for everyone else, will lean back into people. These people RUIN the dance floor. Oblivious to their surroundings, these people need to be taken off the dance floor, out of the club, and into the street.

4a) THE NASTY COUPLES (aka THE WHORES, THE "GET A ROOM!"'S) These are couples, but they have one big difference -- they look like they're trying to do foreplay on the dance floor. They'll make out or the guy will kiss up on the girls neck, or he'll feel the girl up so gross that even those watching will feel violated. You can literally feel the hormones coming from these people. You can spot these people because as soon as you see them your drink will taste bad because of the fact that you have probably just thrown up in your mouth a little. You can usually find these peoples in the corner, up against a wall, or under a table naked.

SPECIAL DANCE MOVES OF SHITTY GUY DANCERS
1) THE CAGE - I never really understood this one. You've all seen it. This is the move the a guy will do when he's dancing with a girl. He'll put his arms out on either side of her, fully stretched out. The especially bad ones will snap or point with their hands while they do this. I never understood this dance move. Why do guys this? I mean, when i'm getting down with a girl and the freaking happens, I might put one arm up, but both??? It looks like ur trying to keep the girl from getting away. But this is okay if you are a STALKER (see above)

2) THE TRAIN (aka THE LINE OF STALKERS) - This is SUPER annoying. This is when a group of guys will follow one another as they walk RIGHT THROUGH the dance floor. Then everyone has to let them through. The train may stop from time to time so that the STALKERS (see above) that make up this line can do their thing with the poor girls around them. You see this a lot at asian parties. But this is understandable since it is riduculous to go to an asian party without some girls to dance with. Why? Because all girls that go to an asian party will only dance with the friends that they've come with. Period. If you ask them to dance they will say no. And if they do say yes, they will act so entirely disgusted with you that you wont want to dance with them anyways. This is what creates the numerous trains at asian parties. Hilarious.

3) THE HUNCHBACK (aka THE WHO IS HE DANCING WITH?) - Okay, i've seen this several times..and there's no way i can really explain this. You HAVE to see it to believe it. Believe me, if you see it, YOU'LL KNOW. So, there is nothing wrong with freakin', i mean, I'm always down to get my freak on with a girl who can dance well. But lemme say this...if you are a guy, and you dont know how to freak, THEN DON'T DO IT. I'm not saying that I'm a freakin' master, but I'm just saying: if you dont know how to do it, then don't. If you didn't know how to catch an arrow in your hands before it hits you, would you still do it? no! And YES, that is a good analogy because watching someone freak who doesnt know how IS WORSE THAN DEATH. So the hunchback is...well, lemme see if i can explain it. See, you all read my previous post about how guys who cant dance will always freak a girl from behind, right? Well, the hunchback is what happens when they try to freak a girl from the front. Basically, the guy will pull the girl as close as he can to his center, and then bend over forwards. The girl will disappear from sight (i'm not kidding) and they guy will look like a hunchback from behind. Here, wanna see what it looks like? Okay, cross your arms in front of you like you're hugging someone..okay? Aight, now try and make your back look like a hunchback. Now, see how you look? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE HUNCHBACK LOOKS LIKE ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!! I've seen this a few times, the worst being: the 350 lbs fat mexican dude and his small gf (that POOR POOR POOR GIRL) at Zoes (BTW, it was hot as hell in that club and the genuis decides to wear a wool sweater). He bumped into me because he and his gf were a COUPLE (see above), and to say that his ENTIRE BEING was ULTRA-SWEATY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. His sweater had become a "sweat-er". The other worst time was watching a 6'10" white guy ENTIRELY ENVELOP his gf.

4) THE SIDE TO SIDE (aka WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING????) - This dance move is shared by shitty guy and girl dancers alike. I saw a white couple doing this together and I had to turn away so i could laugh. Okay, so before i talked about how bad dancers don't move their legs, right? So instead of doing a two step, imagine turning your upper body on each beat. Turn to one side, then turn to the other..got it? okay now do that FOR THE WHOLE SONG, and do not, under any circumstances, move your legs. Yeah, now imagine a couple doing that facing each other. Yeah, now imagine me laughing at them.



Till the next clubbing report, keep it realz, and for goodness sake, learn how to dance =P BTW, just because i criticize doesn't mean i'm the shit at dancing. That title would belong to a friend of mine, Jon.

Here's a few pics that Jon took of me doing my rave thing with the photon lights. If you wanna see what a light show is like, download some trance, click on the pics and sit really close to the screen.


ooooooooo!!! (photons between fingers)



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! (photons not between fingers)

i'm just killing time till i head down to sd. I really hope we get outta here before 10pm, but that doesn't look likely....

anyways, i'm packing. I hate packing. Packing sucks overall. I mean, even if you're packing for a vacation, it's sucks. Cuz you always got that one worry.."oh shit...did i pack everything?" and then when you do forget to pack something, that sucks ass, cuz then you gotta buy it where ever ur going.

I really dig the dress shirt and tie look. Especially when the tie and the shirt are contrasting (but go well w/ one another) and you got the top button undone and the tie loosed a little. It looks laid back but suave..it's like like the law and order cop look..or the "i just got off work and am now enjoying a beer at happy hour" look...that shit is cool. I just need to get more ties and dress shirts.

The tuxedo look on the other hand sucks. Especially on asians. Asians do not look good in tuxes. Seriously. It's kind of like gold. Gold also does not look good on asians. Silver does. Gold does not. Ever. No it does not matter if the gold is on a dope ass bracelet or a dope ass watch or a dope ass rim that you have around your neck. No. Gold does not look good on asians. period. period double period triple period with midol and tampax. But yeah, tuxes on asians. No. The one time that i will wear a tux is on my wedding day. with a black ties. A tux with a white tie is fucking fugly. Yes fucking fugly..which is like two "fuckings" so you know that's DAMN ugly.

Okay, there are these potato crisps things that they sell at Trader joes. They are not fried or baked..they are cooked using this japanese technique of high pressure cooking. They are damn good. I insist that everyone go buy a bag. Cuz one, they are damn good. and two, I gotta represent for my people and their high pressure cooking techniques. Yah heard?

Popping is the hardest dance style ever. Seriously. It's easier to rave, breakdance, or even lock. Popping is hard as FUCK. I have gotten better, but that's like saying that i used to (on a scale of 1-10) be at -54601321654 and now i'm at -54601321653. I always wonder how Jon (J-pop, founding member of J. Crew) got to be so good, but then i remember that he's been popping since 98 or 99. He's been popping longer than the teacher at our popping class. He can turn heads at a club, get girls to say DAMN, and get black guys to give him props on his dance skills. I usually keep it modest, but i will say this. My friend Jon will beat ANY of you in a dance contest. ANY of you. Yes.

din din. brb.

the last few days have been more than relaxing..more like downright wastes of days. But lots of sleep is a good thing. And with sleep, you're never really wasting a day.

On sunday I played football with the guys. It was fun. I scored three touch downs. How i did that, i don't know. Anyways, the next day (today) I woke up to find that my entire lower body hurt like hell. Anyways, i think we're gonna try and make it a weekly thing. Should be good exercise, since all of us are out of shape and old and shit.

Thursday night i'm heading down to sd with mayuko. this will be the first time i've driven down to sd since i've drove back from sd in august. I'll be staying down there till hopefully monday. I'm not planning on seeing a bunch of people; I'd like to, but i know that it wont be possible. Most people dont even know that i'm coming down. That's okay tho. It's easier this way, especially since i'm without a car. I'm hoping to see some certain peoples and then hopefully a few more.

A tool to help a friend in need is just as good as tool for helping yourself [refer to my toolbox analogy about life]

My mom asked me if i want to go see les miserables or whatever the hell it's called. I guess i should. I'm not cultured enough.

Vegas in july? Damn expensive tho. Told brian i'd go tho, so i'd better stick with it. Should be fun anyways. It always is.

The best way to keep from getting your dreams crushed is to simply not have any. It's pretty simple really. You just dont think. I've gotten pretty good at that =)

Last time. Still holding my tongue.
- - -
Plans for the summer:
-do well in summer school
-go to vegas w/sd people
-get in shape
-perhaps a part time job.

Plans for the rest of my life:
-get my masters by next june
-get a job that pays 75k starting
-go to japan in the spring and go sakura viewing, while drinking large amounts of plum wine, warm sake, and eating large amounts of manju.
-finding you again.

And so i feel compelled to write this, i think i wrote it before, but i might as well do it again:

A GUIDE TO GUYS: WHAT NOT TO DO ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

There are many guys who cannot dance. I had this problem, and I still do occasionally. As my caucasian friend pointed out, the majority of white guys have this problem (he calls this "whiteboy-itis"). Think about it. Why are guys so reluctant to dance? And why do guys always freak girls from behind (it's easier because you just follow the girl's hips) rather than the front (it's MUCH harder cuz you need to have your own rhythm and she can see your face)? Anyways, nevertheless, I give to everyone, what guys should not do on the dancefloor.

1) DO NOT BUY A DRINK AND THEN BRING IT ON THE DANCEFLOOR AND DANCE WITH IT IN YOUR HAND. If you can't dance, then you gotta start simple. If you can't chew gum and walk at the same time, and you know if you do, you'll look dumb and fall on your face, then why would you do it???? Enjoy your drink first, THEN dance. One thing at a time. Guys do this because they think that if they have their hand on something, that takes away one appendage that they have to worry about being on-beat. Furthermore, the drink will make pay attention to the drink rather than the person, and maybe or rather, hopefully, give those watching an excuse as to why the guy is dancing so damn bad.

2) HANDS STAY BELOW THE SHOULDERS. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you are a guy, you DO NOT EVER put your hands above your shoulders when you dance. EVER!!!! NO, I DONT CARE IF THAT IS "YOUR MOVE"!!! DO NOT DO IT!!!! The higher you put your hands up, the worse it looks. Do not do that move where you turn your hands so your palms are facing away from you and then you "push" upward and outward. The only time your hands should go above your head is if you're doing a speciality dance (i.e. popping) or the guy on stage tells you to "put yo hands up! put yo hands up!"

3) DO NOT EVER POINT AS A DANCE MOVE. The 80s ended a long time ago. Let it go.

4) MOVE YOUR DAMN LEGS. Yes, you can look like you're dancing with your feet superglued to the floor, but you'll look stupid. A lot of guys are shoulder dancers, and a lot of guys are limited to only the "two step". Break free from that mold! Put your foot to the front to the front to the back to back now dip come on now dip now slide baby slide slide baby. (for those of you who didn't get that last joke -- forget it, cuz you're too young). Anyways, move your damn legs!!!

4A) OVERLY EXAGGERATED MOVES DO NOT COUNT AS GOOD MOVES. Okay, on the other hand, don't whip your arms and legs around like a puppet. just put your foot down and stop moving when the beat hits. Dont jump around and hit someone accidently.

5) THE "GRIND FROM BEHIND" WITHOUT ASKING A GIRL DOES NOT, I REPEAT, DOES NOT EVER FUCKING WORK. Yes, I know you think you're hot. You think you're a gift to women worldwide. I got news for you. Unless you are a Mr. B. Pitt., this shit will NOT work. Okay lemme put it to you like this. Lets say you're dancing or minding your own business. Then a girl comes up behind u and grinds their naughty bits into your ass. How would you react? I think most people (most) would react the same way to someone touchign their ass -- "WTF!!!??"
And then this girl has to turn around and see your ugly ass. Sorry son, that shit is not gonna work. Just ask the girl to dance! The worse she can say is "no". Or even if she does say something worse, here's how you work it on the noisy dancefloor:

Guy: Hey, would you like to dance?
Girl: Hell no i dont want to dance, especially not with you.
Guy: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Anyways, if you try and grind from behind bullshit, you'll find the girl you're trying to work will quickly give the "secret signal" to her girlfiends (i.e. disgusted face which you can't see, a hand signal, or a scream of "OMG SAVE ME THERE'S AN UGLY GUY BEHIND ME") to come save her, in which the girl who is her friend will take her hands and pull away her away from you, or put her arms around her pull her away, or punch you in the face.

5A) IF A GIRL DOES GET HER FREAK ON WITH YOU, IT DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. I've seen guys get pushed away and shit cuz they tried to move into get a little something extra while they were freaking the girl (i.e. kiss, hands up shirts, hands up skirts, the whole nine). The point is: a dance is just a DANCE. A girl has said "yes" to dancing with you, not "yes" to fucking your brains out. Enjoy the dance, buy her a drink, and talk it up with her. Be friendly, not horny.

5B) NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU AND YOUR GIRL GET NASTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR. My friend went to a foam party where someone was having sex with their gf under the foam. I was at a club where this guy and this girl were feeling each other up so crazily next to me that when they were done I fucking needed a cold shower and an after sex cig. Shit. Point is, NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT SHIT. Seriously. I'm happy for you. I'm glad you're getting laid while the rest of us cry ourselves to sleep. I'm glad you're getting your checks cashed, your rocks polished, etc. etc. etc. But save the rest of us from having to see you get your shit felt up at the club. Okay, so you wanna get your girl into bed. Fine. SO GO HOME. The last thing i want in the club is to get hit in the back of the head with something and then wonder why someone is throwing elmers glue in the club.

6) DO NOT GO ON TO THE DANCEFLOOR WITH ALL OF YOUR GUY HOMIES, HOLDING DRINKS, FORMING A LINE AND WALK AROUND AND GET IN EVERYONES FUCKING WAY CUZ YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE CROWD LOOKING FOR HOTTIES. In fact, don't go to a club with a bunch of guys anyway!!! What are you thinking!!??? This is ESPECIALLY TRUE with asian parties. Here is a fact: At an asian party, the girls there will NOT dance with you. EVER. They will dance with their friends who they came with, guys or girls. So you better roll with a bunch of GIRLS.

7) BUMPING INTO PEOPLE REPEATEDLY WILL GET YOU HIT. Okay, so you're a bad dancer. or maybe you weigh 400 lbs. Or maybe you're a dumbshit who wore two sweaters to the club and now ur drenched head to toe in sweat. DO NOT keep bumping into people. Have some fucking courtesy!!!

8) IF YOU ARE UGLY, THEN GIRLS WILL NOT DANCE WITH YOU. I should know =*( haha.
- - -
another lazy weekend. At least it's cooler now.
- - -




you made me feel alright for once in my life
now all that's left in me is what i pretend to be
so together but so broken up inside
- - -
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
- - -
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee