Goddammit.

I see people around me,
and I see things in them that make me laugh
feel sorry for them. What the hell kind of person
acts the way that they do?
Tactless insecurity mixed with no confidence.
Requested bandages for emotional wounds that are thrust in the faces of others.
Complains about the filet mignon while the world starves around them.
I shake my head, but then.
Then I see those elements in myself.
Either hiding beneath the surface,
or just simply hiding, daring me to recognize their existance instead of constantly denying it.

I see people around me.
and I see things in them that make me jealous.
How i long to be able to look as they do, or think as they do.
An outside so beautiful or
an inside so strong
that nothing can hurt them, even if given permission.
They live their days, with neither a pessimistic cloud or a optimistic smiling sun in their sky
Perfectly content, a middle ground comfortable existance, for they know that extremes usually lead to one another.
Their feet surely grounded, and never in their mouths.
While I am given the impossible task of finding such a state within myself.
Missing elements.
I hope that with each mental rock overturned,
I can discover them.

So here i am.
Not content with where i am,
but very content from the distance i've run from where i've been
But that still doesn't answer the question
Where do i go from here?
And how will i know when i've gotten there?

clv.