Random: What not to wear/Filipinos love shoes and "Lately"/Wedding cakes and women's shoes

A funny post before the serious one.

Okay, fact. I still don't know how to dress. I'm not sure what looks good on me. It's hard to me to put outfits together. I wear the same shit all too often. It doesn't help that I'm overweight, so shit doesn't look as good on me.

However, I do know what does NOT look good on me. Orange. Hats. Thick black rim glasses. Cardigans. Pink windbreakers. These items emphasis the ugly parts of me. Well, except for orange. I dunno why, but orange just DON'T GO. I tried on an orange shirt one time and it seriously took all my willpower to keep from my punching my face and the mirror at the same time.

Japanese are definitely not the African-Americans of the Asian world. Unless maybe you're one of those Japanese who are dark (I.e. Wes Abe). But nah, Filipinos are the blacks of the Asian culture. How do i know this? Because Filipinos can wear anything. And it's in their blood. Filipinos love shoes, vneck sweaters, graphic tees, and layering. They also like DJing, dancing in dance crews, and singing "Lately" by Jodeci. (For more information, please contact your local Filipino and/or a Mr. Jason Daco)

With the shitball economy, I would have expected some of the higher end stores that I like to check out to drop all the prices on their clothes. But NAH. Still expensive. wtf. But I heard on the radio that the retail market is gonna drop for at least another 6 months. And maybe even beyond that. Shoot. I'm cool with that! However, i know the bottom has finally fallen out the day I own something from Louis Vuitton. That will BE THE DAY.

Note to self: Get into wedding cake business or women's shoes. Check it out. The average cost of a wedding cake is HUNDREDS. People pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for wedding cakes! And what makes a good wedding cake. The taste. But what makes for good taste? Good ingredients. Right, but let's be real real. All you gotta do to make a good cake it put in more of the bad-for-you stuff. More eggs. More cream. More sugar. Shiet. I can do that! I go to cake school for like a year or two. Then I start selling wedding cakes, then I buy a solid gold ferrari with a phone booth on top (JUST CUZ) and retire.

And women's shoes. My friend told me bout this pair of shoes she saw that she really likes. Price tag? 1400. Yup. one thousand. four hundred. dollars. The amount of material that is used in expensive women's shoes is like next to nothing. And yet women will pay this money (and more) for shoes like Jimmy Choo's and such. Damn. I don't know shit about women's fashion, women's shoes, etc. but I know a good business plan when I see it! Step 1) Make 10 shoes. Step 2) Spread the word that they're hella limited and only 10 were made. Step 3) Price each shoe at 10k Step 4) sell all shoes. Step 5) release 50 more collections in the same way Step 6) Buy solid gold ferrari with a hot tub on the roof Step 7) Retire and reenact rap videos every day (just the part where they chill by the pool with homies while sipping Cristal and wearing furs, all while while hot girls dance on the diving board looking extremely bored)

I'm gonna combine the two. I'll make wedding cakes that have shoes as cake decorations. It'll be a brides wet dream come true. and I'll be rich and finally able to achieve my personal goal of baking myself into a giant jello mold and seeing if I can eat my way free. It'll be like James and the Giant Peach except way cooler and with a lot more violence, cussing, and of course, exploding confetti dogs.