Saturday i went out for lindz bday. We went to B412 in palo alto. It was cool in the beginning of the night - lots of room. But oh, as the night went on, and more people came in, it got hot and nasty. Here are the highlights, good and bad:

Good:
-Room to dance. Sometimes good music.
-First time going out dancing in a long, long time.
-Ate pizza across the street before the club. Really good.
-I forgot how much cheaper drinks are here than in Vegas.
-Outdoor house section. Cooler.
-Actually a good number of cute girls. Not just hot, but CUTE. There were two girls there who were extremely cute. However, one of them was with what appeared to be a guy who was the champion of the "nerdy guy gets hot girl"contest. I'm talking about the kind of guy who yells out calculus equations during sex. Seeing a couple like that gives you hope, but also really makes you want to beat his ass.
-Watching the countless guys trying to dance with Lindsay. There was a guy there who looked like Josh Groban and danced like Vanilla Ice. He tried dancing with Lindsay. Hilarity ensued. I truly believe that Lindsay emits some kind of ego-boosting substance. Let me be clear. If you got balls, then more power to you. Are you confident? Bravo, my friend. But let's KEEP IT REAL, shall we, gentlemen? I mean, yes, sometimes you don't know until you try, but KEEP IT REAL. Yeah, I can TRY to stop that boulder coming at me down the hill, and I may get props for trying to do it, but I think it's QUITE CLEAR what the result will be.
-Drunk Shan. "Chummy! Chummies!!!"

Bad:
-By the end of the night, the windows were fogged up with sweaty nastiness and people's body funk. Nasty. It was almost as gross as when I went to a club where it got so hot inside that it started to drip from the ceilings.
-No room to dance near the end.
-Some big black guy threw up in the corner by where we were dancing. It was actually more funny than gross.
-Barely saw people.
-Still can't dance in clubs due to stage fright? I dunno.
-Not a very good practice session. I think the problem is I need to find more people who want to go practice. I hate to admit it, but being comfortable fits into how well I can dance. And when it's just me out there dancing, I'm afraid it doesn't look like I'm practicing, but more like I'm the guy who comes to the club alone and dances by himself. It's stupid I know, but it definitely factors in. The best way to explain it is I think it goes back to my raving days, which was the only other time in my life where I really dedicated myself to learning a dance style. Back in those days, me and my friends would find a corner or an area of the dance floor and then we'd take turns going, one at a time. There's something about that kind of set up that made me feel comfortable and able to dance almost effortlessly. That just isn't the case anymore. Our group barely goes out as a group anymore -- the girls go by themselves, people have less time, etc.

Sunday I spent sitting around with a slight hangover, and doing nothing. The most productive thing I did all day was had a phone conversation. It was a conversation that 4 years ago I thought i'd never have. Strange how things change, I guess.

Well, looks like detroit won the stanley cup. Sweet. I know cin's happy about that. I'm just happy that dallas lost. Fuckin' sharks...oh well, there's always next year. I think. But i can't really talk because I was never a huge hockey fan. I was listening to sportsradio yesterday (which i will talk about in a second), and Dan Patrick was talking about how HDTV saved hockey. I couldn't agree more. I will admit that a live hockey game is the shit (if you leave out the fact that you can't lean forward even a little bit or you're blocking someone's view...or the fact that hockey is a lot like soccer where you hardly ever see any goals), but i had to be dragged by friends to go. Watching hockey on TV is okay, but you can't see where the damn puck is sometimes! And then HDTV came along, and now I can see everything! Sweet. Don't get me wrong though. I'm always rooting for the hometeam, and i will admit that I'm more into hockey now than i was in college.

The NBA finals are starting tonight, and I'm really hoping that the Celtics will win. Okay, i love basketball, and I love the warriors. I'm a die hard fan when it comes to the warriors that's for sure. i dont care if they don't ever win the finals while I'm alive, they'll still be number one in my mind. i read an article on ESPN about how if the warriors got Love, then the trio of Love, Beans, and Ellis would be something worth shouting for. I can see that. At first I was a bit skeptical of Love, but unbeknownst to me, the guy has dropped some weight and picked up some muscle. We just gotta hope that Mullins and Nellie are interested in that.

Anyways, I'm really hoping boston wins. Why? One, i really like the city of boston. When i went to visit there, I was more impressed by boston than any other city on the east coast. Second, I hate the lakers. always have, always will. Third, everyone and their mom is talking about how the lakers will win. Okay, there's a good chance they will. But whatevers. It's always about the underdog. And unlike some of my friends, I think KG and Pierce deserve that ring. Kobe's a cocky mother fucker, and I love seeing arrogant bastards taste the floor when the underdog knocks them the fuck out.

sportsradio!!! Man who would have thought! I happened to catch Dan Patrick and Gary Radnich and have been listening to them on the way to work or at work or during lunch. These guys have the best jobs on earth. They get to talk about sports, joke around with their buddies in the booth, and generally have a good time. They jokes are awesome. Listening to these guys makes you wish that hanging out with your friends had the same kind of humorous ebb and flow.

okay i think will blog about vegas, because that's the only thing that's been going on lately.

So the vegas trip was okay. It wasn't great. It was good. But not great. But it's fun when things are not great, because i can talk about them so i can remember not to go certain places. So yeah. Here we go. And just so you, the reader, don't feel left out, I'll play both our parts, ready?

You: So how was your trip to vegas?

Me: It was okay.

You: Just okay?

Me: Yeah. Because....
okay, I'm tired of typing colons, so that will end abruptly and stupidly. Anyways, here we go:

What was cool about vegas:
-THE PEOPLE: A shitload of people were in vegas at the time, but I rolled with 8 peoples. They included Minh, Mrs. Minh Tran (Czrena), Daco, Fiona, Celina, Cvu, Loretta, Norm. It was good times. Good fun. The funniest moment was at the club Moon. SOMEBODY in our group was dancing with some guy while she was drunk. Later on, she would say "Hey, how come you guys didn't save me? I was grinding on him hella hard!". Yes. Go back. Read that again. Still don't get it? I will break it down for you.

"how come you guys didn't save me?" = "I didn't want to dance with that guy"
"I was grinding on him hella hard!" = "I really enjoyed dancing with that guy"

Awesome. She will be hearing that quote for YEARS to come.
But yeah, the group was awesome. and meeting up with the other groups was cool too. A lot of good stories though. Lots of laughs.
Other good stories:
-Minh showing Celina the proper way to give a piggyback, by pushing her into the glass part of the people mover.
-Czrena pushing Celina into the wall.
-"MINH TRAN, DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME?"
-"Hey just tell them you're VIP...or..just tell them my last name..or..fuck you"
-"why dont you listen to me? I must be really softspoken"
-"I'm glad you like my hair!! What you think means a lot to meee!"

We all ate. Drank. Danced. Laughed. It was awesome to catch up with people. I definitely want to go back with these folks again.

-SLEEPING IN: Do you have any idea how nice it felt to sleep in for days at a time? And just sleep and sleep and sleep? BTW, I slept in the kitchen on the sofa cushions. It was awesome. Until daco opened the fridge door above my head and brought on the bright cold.

-MGM SIGNATURE: 5 days, 4 nights. 40 bucks. Fuckin' nice hotel. No smoking allowed anywhere in there. Free apples every day. Free water. Nice gym. Clean. Awesome. They also give back your credit card to you the respectful Japanese way. Ultra fast elevators. High quality bathroom products. Full kitchen. Did I mention the free apples?

-NACHOS @ LUXOR: It's awesome. I can't even do it justice with words. Just go try it. It's worth the walk or taxi ride. Seriously. Great. Now I'm drooling on the keyboard. Look what you've done.

What wasn't cool about Vegas:
-BOTTLE SERVICE: Note to self. Getting bottle service for 14 people is not a smart idea. Why? Well, 1) the booth wasn't big enough. 2) the area around the booth was crowded. 3) The alcohol went HELLA quick. I had 3 drinks total, and that was thanks to Alan. If not for him, I would have had two drinks. And all of this was not cheap. But that's not all...you add to that the next point of...

-CLUB WAS NOT BUMPIN': In addition to the lack of buzz, the club was only okay. The people inside were not hot or cool, the music was so-so, and the servers kept getting in the way. And to that, add the fact that there wasn't a lot of room to dance, and you got yourself a club that's "aight". I'll check moon off my list. There's a lot of places on the strip that I think can offer a just as good, if not better, experience. The next night, we went to Caramel, which was the size of a broom closet. No really. The place doesn't even have a bathroom - you have to leave to go to the bathroom. The music was better there, but then no one was dancing. Aye.

-THE CLUB THAT WAS BUMPIN I DIDN'T GO TO: My stupid ass. I figured that Tao, where everyone went on Sunday (while we were checking out Bellagio's multipurpose storage room), was going to be packed. Oh, but apparently Tao has remodeled so that it's much bigger. Sucks. Plus some people I really wanted to see were there. Sucks even more. And I can only blame myself because other people were down to go. Then later people who were there told me how much fun it was. It was definitely a "You should have been there man". Story of my life. Move along.

-FOOD SUCKED! I was let down continuously by what should have been good eats.
Del Frisco's served me a nice 22 oz salt lick with a nice salt rub that had been dipped in salt. The Spice Market Buffet at Planet Hollywood was serving a buffet of suck. The meat was dry, the dishes were bland or gross tasting. wtf. The apples were the best part of the food in vegas. But hey, at least I got my Luxor nachos, which came through with flying colors of cheese and meat. Seriously. Those nachos have seriously replaced the IP prime rib sandwich to the fullest.

-NO GAMBLING. I think I gambled less than an hour!! that's crazy!! That's like going to a buffet and eating one biscuit! wtf. I really want to get back to vegas, just so I can gamble.

-NOT ENOUGH DRUNKENESS; ALL COMBINED INTO ONE NIGHT, NOT GOOD - I wasn't that drunk this entire trip. I didn't drink enough, that's for sure. This was a chill trip, but definitely not a party trip. But it was all combined into one night, Sunday, where I got SUPER drunk. More drunk that I've been in a long long time. I was so drunk I could barely walk straight and I was speaking my mind, completely. Sounds cool right? Except for the fact that no one else was drunk or buzzed that night! Can you say "feeling stupid"?

-MY DREAM OF HOOKING UP WITH A DANCER/BARTENDER FROM TAO STILL HASN'T HAPPENED. I have a feeling this item will remain on the "What wasn't cool about vegas list" for a long long LONG time. Hey, a guy can dream, right? Oh and if you want to know why, it's because those girls have awesome conversational skills.


All in all thought, I had a good time, and if anything, it has made me want to go back to vegas even more.

It is now 740pm, and I'm still at work. I love this job.

Yeah, maybe you should have asked that girl that you thought was cute out on a date when you first hung out? Or that second time? Or that fifth time? But nahhhh, now it's too late. You've already been evaluted and chances are you're in the friend zone. Or maybe you're not on either ladder. You're just in no man's land. But have no fear, you can always feel it out. Right? Do some chicken-shit flirting? I mean, it sucks to go that route, but when you have no other choice, what else can you do? The thing to remember is...hope is your enemy. Let's face it - your chances are already low. I'm talking like someone hitting a golf ball up in the sky and having it land on one of your toes, and have it be the one toe that's broken and have it hit it in such a way that it gives you a heart attack and your head explodes due to the blood pressure. But yeah. No hope. Just read it and take it as it is. Here's some help:

WAYS TO TELL THAT THE GIRL ISN'T INTO YOU IN THAT WAY:
1) When greeting you via some kind of online medium (text, email, IM, etc.), she
a) Never says hi first. You do.
b) When she does reply to your greetings, she says one of the following: "Hey pal", "Hey man", "Hey dude", "Hey buddy". EVEN WORSE: Replace all of the "Hey"s with "Wsup"s. EVEN WORSE: "Sup n*gga", "sup boy", "yo"
c) Takes 20 minutes to reply to your messages. EVEN WORSE: Leaves suddenly. EVEN WORSE: While you're responding to a question.

2) You never go beyond the online medium, because phone conversations are obviously:
a) One-sided
b) 2 minutes long before she has to go eat dinner. EVEN WORSE: Watch TV. EVEN WORSE: Someone else is calling (read: more important than you). EVEN WORSE: "something else" THE WORST: "Take a shit" (and that's what she says). Realize too that all of these are not lies. They are just more important or interesting than talking to you, which means there's a potential for you to be less interesting than taking a shit.
c) Extremely awkward and forced.

2)In person, greets you with a weak ass hug. EVEN WORSE: greets you with a handshake. EVEN WORSE: a slap on the back. EVEN WORSE: a head nod. EVEN WORSE: That half-props, half-hug that only dudes do. THE WORST: Nothing at all. Your existence means nothing to her, unless she needs something.

3) Asks you for your male opinion on things. EVEN WORSE: Asks for your male opinion on a guy. EVEN WORSE: Asks for your male opinion on bedroom behavior with a guy that she's seeing.

4) Says one of the following to you in conversation, (Goes in order from best to absolute worse)
a) "Someday you'll find a good girl..you deserve her" ("and that good girl isn't me")
b) "You're like my best friend" (Can it be anymore clear?? You're done dude.)
c) "You're like a brother to me". EVEN WORSE: "You're like an uncle to me" THE WORST: "You remind me of my dad!" (Unless you live in the midwest, you can probably assume that you're not getting anywhere)
d) "You don't have any confidence" (This one was actually said to me. WTF. I had to laugh at it tho, cuz it's so "in yo face!")

If any of those happen to you, then it's best that you look elsewhere. And you should anyways.

Yeah, i know, I still need to blog about Japan.

Work has been somewhat easier since I got back. Of course, it's only a matter of time before it gets crazy again. I'm trying my best to keep that from happening though.

Hoy boy. Here's the mother of all plans. August my buddy Mick is getting married. In Belmont. I doubt that I will have another wedding of a high school/college friend this close to my house. I have a suit that I don't like very much. That means I should buy a new suit. I want to look slick though. That means losing weight. So what better opportunity to motivate than Mick's wedding. Here's my deal. If I can slim down to where I want to be, then I'll buy myself a NICE ass suit. I'm talking hugo boss, club monaco, dkny nice. Plus a nice ass watch and nice ass shoes to go with. If I don't, then I'm wearing that suit that I don't like to the wedding. Plus some beat up chucks, and a calculator watch. Hmm..maybe that's hurting Mick more than me. oh well, so be it! A deal's a deal.

Actually, i have to lose weight by the end of may, but that's for a completely different reason.
- - -
Keep going.

This is a problem that I've been pondering. Do I avoid, or do I approach and learn? If there is something that makes you think of something negative, do you avoid it? Or do you just approach it, accept it, and do your best to try and learn from it? Do you contsantly need to look for ways to "grow" or is it okay to just avoid it? I personally think avoiding and running way are stupid. But this is different. Very different. I will find the answer. I just a couple more days and a few more Japan train rides where I stare out the door pondering both my reflection and the passing world just beyond the door.

Eggo waffles with nutella. Seriously.

Around people who get it. It being the subjective word. People who get the struggle? Who get what it's like? Or people who succeed? Who lead easy going lives? Or just easy lives? But then I think that if I.

But if it all ends in the positive, then it doesn't matter, right?

..doing any of this? To feel better in my own eyes? Or to feel better because I'm comparing myself to others? I guess the only way to know for sure is to keep my mouth shut when it comes to certain things. maybe. maybe not.

think.

I'm always looking for ways to improve myself. Maybe the best thing to do is stop looking and let those opportunities come to me instead. The best ones always do.

It would seem that a common lesson from the past 4 years of my life is that nothing in life should be forced. I think that all too often, I'm looking to gain some kind of ultimate control over life. Why? Maybe that way nothing that can happen that I don't give some kind of permission to. Maybe it's a way of protecting myself from having to suffer or getting caught off guard.

It goes without saying that that just isn't how life works.
- - -
The Japan trip was excellent in so many ways - new experiences, fun times, good food, etc. And though I wasn't expecting it, I also came to understand myself a little bit better. I was simply looking to enjoy myself, and to find a particular sort of self-growth was a pleasant surprise.

When we first got to Japan, when asked why he liked living there so much, Jeff said that it was great coming to a place where no one new you and you could start fresh. He further explained that you don't have to fit into the mold the people have created for who you should and shouldn't be. Crazy. You don't really realize the impact of all of that until you're in the situation. I think that in addition to constantly comparing myself to others, a lot of the time I'm held down by what I think I should be and what I think others think I should be. If I were to try and change who i am right now, I would probably be met with some kind of resistance from those around me. Or maybe indifference. Either way it would affect me.

I think it would be great to go somewhere where I could start fresh. Not because I want to change who I am..but rather I think that people look at you as a cumulative collection of who you are as well as who you were. And sometimes I think that the who I was holds a stronger impact in people's minds than who I am. And I truly, truly dislike that.

I'm back from Japan. I'm still a bit jetlagged.

It really sucks ass to be back. Seriously. I wish I was back in Japan.

I'm gonna go hang out at Nijiya market and cry.

Longer, more interesting post later.