I read this love poem on someone's xanga that completely blew me away.
I thought i might give a go at it. it's pretty weak because i usually dont write like this ( in this format). I tried reaching down deep into "my emotions". hehe. This is not a poem about the daily happenings of my life obviously.
anyways, even tho i dont usually ask for it. PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK. This poem took me forever to write and i wanna see what people think for my next version of it. If you think it rocks, tell me. But if you think it sucks, tell me even more so. You can't fix what you can't see. Yah heard?
one other thing, when you read this poem, imagine like i'm speaking it to you. Like a spoken word kind of deal. In fact, just to complete the picture, imagine me on a stage with a microphone reading this to you, with emotion and intensity. Yeeeahh.
- - -
Love Interpretation
Okay check it...
It's hard enough trying to take this emotion that i feel whenever you happen to stroll into my thoughts and try put it down into words on paper. Add to that my limited vocabulary -- I use "nice" or "pretty" where others might use "ravishing" or "pulchritudinous" -- and the task becomes impossible, but here goes anyways. Please excuse my layman expression.
Ahem.
I wish I could forget about you everyday, so that I can learn to love you all over again. So that each and every time I could find something new and appreciate it, flaws or perfections.
Finding myself sitting in the candy aisle at the local neighborhood grocery store, where people are looking at me funny as i dig through the "serve yourself" candy. Searching for the certain pieces because I know you like the blue and yellow ones, but not the red and green ones or the green and yellow ones.
Feeling all giddy inside after i get off the phone with you, so much so that right before i fall asleep just so that i know that no one's looking, I will giggle and roll around in bed happily because the little kid inside of me is exstatic over the fact that I get to see you tomorrow, cooties or not. A man isn't supposed to do those things, but no man alive is immune to that kind of feeling.
Calling you up and the end of the day and not having to worry about if you're busy or not because I know that both of us look forward to that phone call. Conversations that flow like nothing, with the comfort of knowing exact what to say to make you smile.
Saving up my money and telling people that I'm broke so that no one knows that i'm saving up money to buy you that one thing that you've had your heart set on for years. And barely being able to stand still when I'm ordering that thing for you and imagining the smile that will stretch across that beautiful face of yours when you see it.
And..and...just like in the movies and music videos, i wanna make sure that i'm not there when you open it up. So that all that love and want to see me will build up to that one moment where I walk in and sheepishly smile at you. And you look at me and all i can see is how happy you are and for that one moment...for that one second of my life...i know i'm alive.
Because being alive is being able to let out that feeling of love..it's not even love..that's too generic. That's like calling diamonds and rubies "precious stones". It's too intense for words, so that I've been sitting here for 10 minutes, flipping through my mental thesaurus..trying to find a term that could possibly express to you the reader of how crazy it feels. An electric shock running through your spine. Nope. Having all the excitement of every single christmas morning rolled up into one. Nah. Not even close.
It's that feeling, the feeling i get when I call you up and I don't even need to say my name. I just say "Hey you, it's me". And I can HEAR you smile. I can hear that loving exhale escape from between your lips just as you say..."hi....". And even tho i may be far away from you, we sit on the phone, sometimes in silence, just so i can feel for a part of my day that i'm with you. Even if i can't be with you, lying next to you, with your head on my chest, watching you fall asleep and wondering just how is it that i found you. Even if that...then at least I know for one moment I can take my phone outside and just like that Disney movie says, I can know that we're both looking at the same sky, and the same stars, and feeling the same love.
Love that turns all the cookie cutter scenarios of running in the rain, long walks on the beach, feeding each other dessert, making each other laugh and then kissing softly afterwardsl into things you'd do over and over again forever if you could. Love renews everything as universal cliches turn into universal understandings.
That's why, when it comes down to it. It's not about the big things. It's the simple things. I could sit here and try and come up with funky new ways to think new kinds of crazy ways to express how much i love you, but that's pointless. Like i said, words just don't do any of it justice.
I can write...
How i get lost in your eyes.
How the way you look in the morning is the best thing i've had to start my day since the discovery of eggo waffles
How the way you brush the hair out of your face is comparable to the brush stroke of Monet
How you make me smile
How you make me laugh
How you make me a better man
And it all sounds the same as the stuff that's coming out of the mouth of the next guy, right? But every different relationship is like a newly discovered galaxy. It all looks the same from far away, but you can't appreciate the magnitude of it, unless you're living in it. No can see what i see, and no one will ever be able to see what i see, even if they're standing in the exact same place i'm standing now.
When i first met you, I wrote this....
"I realize this love may be nothing but a one-way street, and shit, ninety-nine point nine of me knows that if i pursue it I'm headed for a head on collision. But the risk is worth it. Because when love is left inside with no actions or discussion to emancipate it, the love spoils and turns into regrets of a lost yesterday. A lost yesteday that was filled with opportunities to squash the million and one "what if"s."
And to finally find myself here with you, it's unbelievable. This isnt like winning the lottery, not like finding gold at the end of rainbow, or a happy fortune in a cookie. This is like appreciating something that has always been there. Like finally coming home. Like that hug at the end of the day that makes all the bullshit go away.
You make it worth it.
And I love you.
- - -
What do you think? Holla back.
Ya heard?
Thursday, July 28, 2005
time for a rant!
okay, so everyone knows how that mountain dew commercial from way back when pissed me off. Well, there's a new one, and it's constantly on. It's a commercial for Saturn. It's for their stupid "employee discount" thing they got going on. The guy announces that the discount is going on, and then everyone starts running over to cars yelling "dibs!". Okay that's stupid enough..but there ONE GUY at the very end..he's lying next to the car as it rotates. He's lying down in a stupid ass way. Like the way an import model would lie next to a car. And he says "Yeah I got dibs...uh huh!". Okay. the way he says "UH HUH". Wow. WOW. Make me want to buy a saturn just so i can hit him with it.
so the last time i went to vegas, I went to club pure. pure is in Cae...cea...ce..SEE-ZER's palace. Right next to the sports book. Okay, well once we got out (it was past two am), the sports book was closed. All the TVs were off, no one was working, no games were playing. I then use my cell phone to call someone..can't remember who. Anyways, this security guard comes around and tells me i need to hang up because it's against state law to use a cell phone in a sports book area. So i take two steps over and now it's okay. First of all, that's a shit job. Telling a bunch of drunk ass people to get off their cell phones must suck. They're all having a good time and ur old sorry ass who wanted to get into the police force but you couldn't because you too ugly has to tell them to simmer down and get off their cell phones. Anyways, some people got mad when they were told this. And now here's the biggie. WHY? All the screens are OFF, NO ONE is working, there is NO WAY you can make a bet...so WHO CARES. I seriously think the guy was just being a dick. Oh wells.
btw, look at this. it's off the hizzle
http://www.faithandhope.co.uk/jukebox/singinintherain.htm
okay, so everyone knows how that mountain dew commercial from way back when pissed me off. Well, there's a new one, and it's constantly on. It's a commercial for Saturn. It's for their stupid "employee discount" thing they got going on. The guy announces that the discount is going on, and then everyone starts running over to cars yelling "dibs!". Okay that's stupid enough..but there ONE GUY at the very end..he's lying next to the car as it rotates. He's lying down in a stupid ass way. Like the way an import model would lie next to a car. And he says "Yeah I got dibs...uh huh!". Okay. the way he says "UH HUH". Wow. WOW. Make me want to buy a saturn just so i can hit him with it.
so the last time i went to vegas, I went to club pure. pure is in Cae...cea...ce..SEE-ZER's palace. Right next to the sports book. Okay, well once we got out (it was past two am), the sports book was closed. All the TVs were off, no one was working, no games were playing. I then use my cell phone to call someone..can't remember who. Anyways, this security guard comes around and tells me i need to hang up because it's against state law to use a cell phone in a sports book area. So i take two steps over and now it's okay. First of all, that's a shit job. Telling a bunch of drunk ass people to get off their cell phones must suck. They're all having a good time and ur old sorry ass who wanted to get into the police force but you couldn't because you too ugly has to tell them to simmer down and get off their cell phones. Anyways, some people got mad when they were told this. And now here's the biggie. WHY? All the screens are OFF, NO ONE is working, there is NO WAY you can make a bet...so WHO CARES. I seriously think the guy was just being a dick. Oh wells.
btw, look at this. it's off the hizzle
http://www.faithandhope.co.uk/jukebox/singinintherain.htm
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
"Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
I hated that phrase. I hated it. I thought "how fucking stupid. Why would I want to know how much love hurts than to live in an ignorant bliss?". You may think i'm stupid, but if you've ever had a crush that's shot you down, a person of the opposite sex reject you to your face, or have the one true love of your life leave you, then maybe you don't.
Until yesterday, when someone helped me to break down the sentence into its parts.
Maybe it is better to have loved and lost...not because then you have a bunch of sappy memories. But rather because it takes a strong person to be able to have something and have it fail. A person who can truly appreciate and enjoy things in life is a humble person. And failed love is a true way to be humbled in life. Besides death, it may be one of the only things in life that we have no control over, and takes over our minds and bodies. (Please see old old blog about my rants about how love takes over one's entire life...ah to be young and stupid again).
Than to have never loved at all...if you've never loved, then you dont know what it's like to put things on a risk. Love is not infatuation, a fling, or a physical perk. Love leaves you in a state of vulnerability, and is the roughest teacher aside from a poli sci professor i had my last year in college. If you've never hurt, never failed, then you have never learned. And those without knowledge are ignorant, and arrogant. To truly be happy, you have to know what understand all things, because only then can you understand where you are. To be aware of one's self, is to be at peace.
which in my book, is a lot better than being happy.
or at least that's what i try to convince myself with.
I hated that phrase. I hated it. I thought "how fucking stupid. Why would I want to know how much love hurts than to live in an ignorant bliss?". You may think i'm stupid, but if you've ever had a crush that's shot you down, a person of the opposite sex reject you to your face, or have the one true love of your life leave you, then maybe you don't.
Until yesterday, when someone helped me to break down the sentence into its parts.
Maybe it is better to have loved and lost...not because then you have a bunch of sappy memories. But rather because it takes a strong person to be able to have something and have it fail. A person who can truly appreciate and enjoy things in life is a humble person. And failed love is a true way to be humbled in life. Besides death, it may be one of the only things in life that we have no control over, and takes over our minds and bodies. (Please see old old blog about my rants about how love takes over one's entire life...ah to be young and stupid again).
Than to have never loved at all...if you've never loved, then you dont know what it's like to put things on a risk. Love is not infatuation, a fling, or a physical perk. Love leaves you in a state of vulnerability, and is the roughest teacher aside from a poli sci professor i had my last year in college. If you've never hurt, never failed, then you have never learned. And those without knowledge are ignorant, and arrogant. To truly be happy, you have to know what understand all things, because only then can you understand where you are. To be aware of one's self, is to be at peace.
which in my book, is a lot better than being happy.
or at least that's what i try to convince myself with.
Monday, July 18, 2005
back to the grind. Work and school. School will be ending in two weeks tho, so that makes me really happy. The class was kind of a let down, and the teacher was SUPER disorganized. She's very smart in the class material, but she's has no sense of organization. The topic was definitely interesting, but when u can't even get ahold of the prof, it's kinda weak. Oh wells.
House party at Jon's was cool. I was definitely feeling good from a couple of shots as well as some mixed drinks, as was Bluck (from some purple), which was both surprising and cool. Bagel, the other J but not really, Andy, Korean... were all taking part in the liquid festivities.I'm not saying that my friends are cooler when they are drunk/high, but it's nice when we are all on the a similar level of intoxication. Seems like me and Jon were the only ones drinking, but that's okay. As long as everyone had a good time, it's no worries. The house was perfect for a party because the noise level was contained extremely well. No complaints, no pigs, no nothing. It was coo. I think another party is due soon. I even saw Greg and Rock there, which was fucking nuts. I'm thinking for the next party that the place should be tarped, and Jon's room should be turned into the dance area. Keep it dark, put some lights in there..yeah. You like how I'm planning shit for a house that's not mine? But yeah, all in all, the shit was fun. I had a good time, and I left all the drama at home with my mama, just like how ur supposed to do.
Another vegas trip in August. Dude. The average cost of a flight to vegas from san jose is 200 dollars. If I leave on a Mon or a Tues...flight PLUS two nights at a Excalibur....160 bucks!!!! MGM is 210!!!!! Anyways, I already got verbal confirmation from Jon, Shan, Bryant, Brendan said he would try his hardest, and even Greg and Rock said they wanted to go. Hopefully Lindsey and some Berkeley people can come too (Vy, Janet, Lan, Alex, Hung, Eileen, etc. etc. etc.) Jon told me it's cuz everyone is bored as shit up here and it's not like San Diego where there's stuff to do. He's right, cuz planning a vegas trip in sd and finding out if people wanna go is like pulling teeth. All you gotta do up here is say, hey you wanna go to vegas and people's eyes light up. This trip is gonna be off the hook to say the least. Yeah, we'll be going during the week, but for prices like that, it's worth a day or two of vacation fo sho.
I'm feeling a whole lot better these days. Sure, sometimes I might have one or two days of feeling down every so often, but i've decided that that's okay. Everyone has that. And I know who i am, where i'm going, and what i want.
Life is good, as long as you want it to be =)
House party at Jon's was cool. I was definitely feeling good from a couple of shots as well as some mixed drinks, as was Bluck (from some purple), which was both surprising and cool. Bagel, the other J but not really, Andy, Korean... were all taking part in the liquid festivities.I'm not saying that my friends are cooler when they are drunk/high, but it's nice when we are all on the a similar level of intoxication. Seems like me and Jon were the only ones drinking, but that's okay. As long as everyone had a good time, it's no worries. The house was perfect for a party because the noise level was contained extremely well. No complaints, no pigs, no nothing. It was coo. I think another party is due soon. I even saw Greg and Rock there, which was fucking nuts. I'm thinking for the next party that the place should be tarped, and Jon's room should be turned into the dance area. Keep it dark, put some lights in there..yeah. You like how I'm planning shit for a house that's not mine? But yeah, all in all, the shit was fun. I had a good time, and I left all the drama at home with my mama, just like how ur supposed to do.
Another vegas trip in August. Dude. The average cost of a flight to vegas from san jose is 200 dollars. If I leave on a Mon or a Tues...flight PLUS two nights at a Excalibur....160 bucks!!!! MGM is 210!!!!! Anyways, I already got verbal confirmation from Jon, Shan, Bryant, Brendan said he would try his hardest, and even Greg and Rock said they wanted to go. Hopefully Lindsey and some Berkeley people can come too (Vy, Janet, Lan, Alex, Hung, Eileen, etc. etc. etc.) Jon told me it's cuz everyone is bored as shit up here and it's not like San Diego where there's stuff to do. He's right, cuz planning a vegas trip in sd and finding out if people wanna go is like pulling teeth. All you gotta do up here is say, hey you wanna go to vegas and people's eyes light up. This trip is gonna be off the hook to say the least. Yeah, we'll be going during the week, but for prices like that, it's worth a day or two of vacation fo sho.
I'm feeling a whole lot better these days. Sure, sometimes I might have one or two days of feeling down every so often, but i've decided that that's okay. Everyone has that. And I know who i am, where i'm going, and what i want.
Life is good, as long as you want it to be =)
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
a few weeks ago i was walking into fresh choice with my parents
and this old guy walks in front of me right before i get to the door (he was leaving). As he crosses in front of me, he fucking FARTS and he keeps walking like it was chicken wing (ain't no thang). He doesn't flinch or anything or at least say SORRY. No, he FARTS in front of me and keeps on trucking. Dude, it wasn't an SBD either..it was LOUD.
okay. So he's old. I can accept that. and he farted. I can accept that too. But he FARTED in front of me WHILE I WAS WALKING INTO A RESTAURANT. That is just FUCKED UP. To subject someone to ASS when they are about to eat dinner. WTF. That old man shold be VERY happy that i didn't have any gas, or woulda hella FARTED ON HIM.
I shit you not.
Beware old man. Beware.
and this old guy walks in front of me right before i get to the door (he was leaving). As he crosses in front of me, he fucking FARTS and he keeps walking like it was chicken wing (ain't no thang). He doesn't flinch or anything or at least say SORRY. No, he FARTS in front of me and keeps on trucking. Dude, it wasn't an SBD either..it was LOUD.
okay. So he's old. I can accept that. and he farted. I can accept that too. But he FARTED in front of me WHILE I WAS WALKING INTO A RESTAURANT. That is just FUCKED UP. To subject someone to ASS when they are about to eat dinner. WTF. That old man shold be VERY happy that i didn't have any gas, or woulda hella FARTED ON HIM.
I shit you not.
Beware old man. Beware.
i stopped by ken's memorial on the way to vegas, and as i sat there thinking about him, i started writing this poem in my head.
- - -
mt. soledad fellowship
twister is what we were all playing
all that was left was me
and this one guy
I remember him well.
He was the one they called
Ken.
He always had shorts on. Always.
What guy wears shorts to mt soledad? it was freezing.
Right hand Green
Left leg Red.
His ass was in my face
and he was laughing.
Everyone was laughing.
Somebody took a picture.
That was the first time i met him.
Ken.
Cranium.
You always knew the answer, didn't you?
Screaming out the taunts
Laughing when we were frustrated
But in the end, you let it be known that
you were was dumb as us.
Pigs in the blanket was immediately guessed
by your expert imitation
of rolling yourself in a blanket.
Board games were twice as fun thanks to you.
Ken.
Vegas.
Buffets were nothing but attempts to break
world eating records.
Pushing the chairs together to
make a makeshift bed
A power nap is good to make yourself hungry.
Burping to make more room for pasta.
Running in the rain was only dumb until we got soaked
Paigow was a fun game
since you yelled out that
8 is a lucky number in china
3 is a lucky number in indonesia
5 is a lucky number in japan
yes, we couldn't lose.
Seems like we were never losers as long as you were there
Ken.
And now here i stand
in the hot sun
looking down at a picture of you
smiling back at me.
A million and one memories running through my head
and all million and one involve you laughing and smiling.
Dark days just aren't as dark, because i know you're still here
In our hearts and in our minds, you never really left
and you never really will.
Ken.
- - -
mt. soledad fellowship
twister is what we were all playing
all that was left was me
and this one guy
I remember him well.
He was the one they called
Ken.
He always had shorts on. Always.
What guy wears shorts to mt soledad? it was freezing.
Right hand Green
Left leg Red.
His ass was in my face
and he was laughing.
Everyone was laughing.
Somebody took a picture.
That was the first time i met him.
Ken.
Cranium.
You always knew the answer, didn't you?
Screaming out the taunts
Laughing when we were frustrated
But in the end, you let it be known that
you were was dumb as us.
Pigs in the blanket was immediately guessed
by your expert imitation
of rolling yourself in a blanket.
Board games were twice as fun thanks to you.
Ken.
Vegas.
Buffets were nothing but attempts to break
world eating records.
Pushing the chairs together to
make a makeshift bed
A power nap is good to make yourself hungry.
Burping to make more room for pasta.
Running in the rain was only dumb until we got soaked
Paigow was a fun game
since you yelled out that
8 is a lucky number in china
3 is a lucky number in indonesia
5 is a lucky number in japan
yes, we couldn't lose.
Seems like we were never losers as long as you were there
Ken.
And now here i stand
in the hot sun
looking down at a picture of you
smiling back at me.
A million and one memories running through my head
and all million and one involve you laughing and smiling.
Dark days just aren't as dark, because i know you're still here
In our hearts and in our minds, you never really left
and you never really will.
Ken.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Here we go again.
Last Saturday I went to a club called "Rouge" in San Francisco. It was fucking SMALL. I mean, the way it look on the internet, they make it sound like it's the biggest, phattest club in the whole city. Nevertheless, i had a good time, even tho for 3/4ths of the time there were more guys than girls. I dunno..i think it was the most fun clubbing trip i've had thus far since i've come back. This was probably due to several reasons:
1) I had a lot of drinks, but I didn't get super drunk. I had two beers and two gin and tonics. With that amount and the amount that i've been drinking since i got back, i should have been stumbling drunk. But i was in this weird state of feeling okay, but also feeling very buzzed. Strange. Nevertheless it was cool because I could still dance, but I was buzzed. Very.
2) They played this one funk song that i really like. I never thought i'd hear it in a club, and i was buzzed enough that I tried popping in a public setting. The alcohol did a lot to numb the anxiety of popping in front of people, but i'm sure it still looked like shit. Oh wells, i had fun.
3) I danced a lot that night. i danced with Jon, Bryant, and Nat (okay, it's still funky dancing in a circle with more guys than girls, but whatevers i guess) and then i danced with Shan. Always good times. I rediscovered the "two step". Thank goodness. I was a little off (one of those nights), but the alcohol took care of that quick.
Things that make you go wtf:
1) So the bathroom at this place is TINY. One stall, one tiny sink, two urinals with no privacy walls [forced to break the urinal rule. sucks.] Anyways, I went to go piss. Some guy was in there and looking irritated..he was just waiting for the stall. Anyways, i hear voices, and then some shuffling, and then the stall door opens and these two guys come out together. I had to bite my tongue when I saw the guy who was waiting's face.
2) So near the end of the night, i was dancing, and this huge mexican guy starts dancing next to me and starts doing all these hand signals in my face [he was making a 3 or something..i have no idea]. So i put my hands up and look at him and say "wtf?" [ i was buzzed]. And he looks all hurt and turns away. I was very confused.
3) This tall mother fucker was DANCING WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE HIS HEAD [SEE PREVIOUS POST ABOUT GUY DANCING NO-NO'S] and he spills beer on me, Bryant, and Nat.
I shoulda headbutt his stomach.
Another commentary on guy's dancing...
TYPES OF GUY DANCERS. Just a few anyways...
1) THE STALKER (aka THE HUNTER, THE PROWLER, DUMBASS) So this is the guy who comes on to the dance floor by himself or with one or two other guys (wingmen, most likely) and then proceeds to find the nearest girl and start freaking her from behind. Usually he'll do this in a very obvious manner. And when the girl uses one of her "Rescue Tactics", and perhaps her friend will start to pull her away, the talker won't give up. He'll just move forward and keep grinding. He'll also try to put his hands on the girl (waist, etc.) which will quickly be smacked or pushed away. Once he's completely rejected by a girl or is subjected to a Rescue Tactic that is unfreakable [i.e. the girl protection sandwich, the rescue from another guy, or the "this is my boyfriend" tactic] then he'll move on to the next girl. He does this ALL NIGHT, and doesn't ever realize that THIS SHIT NEVER WORKS. He won't ask and he won't approach from the front. This is usually because, but not always, but usually, because he's ugly.
2) THE LONER (aka. THE PARTY OF ONE, THE WEIRD DANCER, THE GUY IN THE CORNER). This is the guy who comes to the club by himself. No other friends, no one. He comes by himself. period. He will usually look a little geeky, but that's not a necessity. This is the guy who looks like he didn't comb his hair or get ready to go to the club at all. It almost looks like he came off the street. Anyways, he stands in the corner, with lots of room around him. He will usually dance off beat, doing one of two styles: One that looks a lot like modern interpretive dance. [i.e. "i am a tree", "i am envy. See my pain..."]. He is in his own world. He is misunderstood by society. He is full of rage. He is mystery. Fear him. Hahaha. The other dance style is a wild style that has a whipping around of arms and legs. It is quite entertaining to watch, and will raise you dance ego immediately
BTW, you will never see any girls dance with this guy, although some girls will on a dare from their friends for free shots/drinks.
2a) THE OLD GUY IN THE CLUB (aka THE GRANDPA, THE DIRTY OLD GUY, THE "WAIT, HE'S NOT A BOUNCER???") There are always a few of these guys at every club. There is a general rule that I think is pretty understood. Once you turn 30, time to STOP CLUBBING. Then you hit cocktail lounges and dancehalls. Anyways, these guys will be at the club, not ever dancing, but standing against the wall or on the edge of the dancefloor with a drink in their hand. They are simply there to gawk at the eyecandy at the club. You do not want to be one of these. If you do become one, then you need to stay at home. If you are one, you need to stay at home. If you live with one, get them to stay home. If you are married to one, what were you thinking???
3) THE SPECIALIST (aka THE CROWDPLEASER, THE BREAKER, THE BATTLER) This is also a guy who you never see dancing with a girl, but this is because he's too busy battling other dancers. He creates a kind of inconvenience for the other dancers because he needs space to do his thing. He usually comes into a club wearing clothes that definitely does not meet the dress code standards, but he finds a way to get in anyways wearing his jeans and his beat up white adidas/nikes. Usually he'll come every week so he can get cool with the bouncers so they wont give him shit about his clothes and let him in. This is the guy is responsible for the "oooooOOOOOOHHHH" you hear from the crowd as well as having everyone stop dancing to watch. I'm bias tho, because i dont mind because i like breaking, locking, and especially popping.
4) THE COUPLES (aka THE OFF BEATS, THE VOMIT INDUCERS, THE PUNKASSES WHO KEEP ELBOWING YOU FROM BEHIND) So this isn't really one person but rather two -- this would be some couples that you see dancing on the dance floor in the club. They are clearly in their own world, or are at least dancing to a different beat than the rest of us, because they dance so off beat it's ridiculous. They have no consideration for those around them, because they constantly knock and bump into everyone around them. They really shitty ones hold hands as they dance which they hit into everyone, or the guy will hold the girl from behind, and in completely disregard for everyone else, will lean back into people. These people RUIN the dance floor. Oblivious to their surroundings, these people need to be taken off the dance floor, out of the club, and into the street.
4a) THE NASTY COUPLES (aka THE WHORES, THE "GET A ROOM!"'S) These are couples, but they have one big difference -- they look like they're trying to do foreplay on the dance floor. They'll make out or the guy will kiss up on the girls neck, or he'll feel the girl up so gross that even those watching will feel violated. You can literally feel the hormones coming from these people. You can spot these people because as soon as you see them your drink will taste bad because of the fact that you have probably just thrown up in your mouth a little. You can usually find these peoples in the corner, up against a wall, or under a table naked.
SPECIAL DANCE MOVES OF SHITTY GUY DANCERS
1) THE CAGE - I never really understood this one. You've all seen it. This is the move the a guy will do when he's dancing with a girl. He'll put his arms out on either side of her, fully stretched out. The especially bad ones will snap or point with their hands while they do this. I never understood this dance move. Why do guys this? I mean, when i'm getting down with a girl and the freaking happens, I might put one arm up, but both??? It looks like ur trying to keep the girl from getting away. But this is okay if you are a STALKER (see above)
2) THE TRAIN (aka THE LINE OF STALKERS) - This is SUPER annoying. This is when a group of guys will follow one another as they walk RIGHT THROUGH the dance floor. Then everyone has to let them through. The train may stop from time to time so that the STALKERS (see above) that make up this line can do their thing with the poor girls around them. You see this a lot at asian parties. But this is understandable since it is riduculous to go to an asian party without some girls to dance with. Why? Because all girls that go to an asian party will only dance with the friends that they've come with. Period. If you ask them to dance they will say no. And if they do say yes, they will act so entirely disgusted with you that you wont want to dance with them anyways. This is what creates the numerous trains at asian parties. Hilarious.
3) THE HUNCHBACK (aka THE WHO IS HE DANCING WITH?) - Okay, i've seen this several times..and there's no way i can really explain this. You HAVE to see it to believe it. Believe me, if you see it, YOU'LL KNOW. So, there is nothing wrong with freakin', i mean, I'm always down to get my freak on with a girl who can dance well. But lemme say this...if you are a guy, and you dont know how to freak, THEN DON'T DO IT. I'm not saying that I'm a freakin' master, but I'm just saying: if you dont know how to do it, then don't. If you didn't know how to catch an arrow in your hands before it hits you, would you still do it? no! And YES, that is a good analogy because watching someone freak who doesnt know how IS WORSE THAN DEATH. So the hunchback is...well, lemme see if i can explain it. See, you all read my previous post about how guys who cant dance will always freak a girl from behind, right? Well, the hunchback is what happens when they try to freak a girl from the front. Basically, the guy will pull the girl as close as he can to his center, and then bend over forwards. The girl will disappear from sight (i'm not kidding) and they guy will look like a hunchback from behind. Here, wanna see what it looks like? Okay, cross your arms in front of you like you're hugging someone..okay? Aight, now try and make your back look like a hunchback. Now, see how you look? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE HUNCHBACK LOOKS LIKE ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!! I've seen this a few times, the worst being: the 350 lbs fat mexican dude and his small gf (that POOR POOR POOR GIRL) at Zoes (BTW, it was hot as hell in that club and the genuis decides to wear a wool sweater). He bumped into me because he and his gf were a COUPLE (see above), and to say that his ENTIRE BEING was ULTRA-SWEATY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. His sweater had become a "sweat-er". The other worst time was watching a 6'10" white guy ENTIRELY ENVELOP his gf.
4) THE SIDE TO SIDE (aka WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING????) - This dance move is shared by shitty guy and girl dancers alike. I saw a white couple doing this together and I had to turn away so i could laugh. Okay, so before i talked about how bad dancers don't move their legs, right? So instead of doing a two step, imagine turning your upper body on each beat. Turn to one side, then turn to the other..got it? okay now do that FOR THE WHOLE SONG, and do not, under any circumstances, move your legs. Yeah, now imagine a couple doing that facing each other. Yeah, now imagine me laughing at them.
Till the next clubbing report, keep it realz, and for goodness sake, learn how to dance =P BTW, just because i criticize doesn't mean i'm the shit at dancing. That title would belong to a friend of mine, Jon.
Last Saturday I went to a club called "Rouge" in San Francisco. It was fucking SMALL. I mean, the way it look on the internet, they make it sound like it's the biggest, phattest club in the whole city. Nevertheless, i had a good time, even tho for 3/4ths of the time there were more guys than girls. I dunno..i think it was the most fun clubbing trip i've had thus far since i've come back. This was probably due to several reasons:
1) I had a lot of drinks, but I didn't get super drunk. I had two beers and two gin and tonics. With that amount and the amount that i've been drinking since i got back, i should have been stumbling drunk. But i was in this weird state of feeling okay, but also feeling very buzzed. Strange. Nevertheless it was cool because I could still dance, but I was buzzed. Very.
2) They played this one funk song that i really like. I never thought i'd hear it in a club, and i was buzzed enough that I tried popping in a public setting. The alcohol did a lot to numb the anxiety of popping in front of people, but i'm sure it still looked like shit. Oh wells, i had fun.
3) I danced a lot that night. i danced with Jon, Bryant, and Nat (okay, it's still funky dancing in a circle with more guys than girls, but whatevers i guess) and then i danced with Shan. Always good times. I rediscovered the "two step". Thank goodness. I was a little off (one of those nights), but the alcohol took care of that quick.
Things that make you go wtf:
1) So the bathroom at this place is TINY. One stall, one tiny sink, two urinals with no privacy walls [forced to break the urinal rule. sucks.] Anyways, I went to go piss. Some guy was in there and looking irritated..he was just waiting for the stall. Anyways, i hear voices, and then some shuffling, and then the stall door opens and these two guys come out together. I had to bite my tongue when I saw the guy who was waiting's face.
2) So near the end of the night, i was dancing, and this huge mexican guy starts dancing next to me and starts doing all these hand signals in my face [he was making a 3 or something..i have no idea]. So i put my hands up and look at him and say "wtf?" [ i was buzzed]. And he looks all hurt and turns away. I was very confused.
3) This tall mother fucker was DANCING WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE HIS HEAD [SEE PREVIOUS POST ABOUT GUY DANCING NO-NO'S] and he spills beer on me, Bryant, and Nat.
I shoulda headbutt his stomach.
Another commentary on guy's dancing...
TYPES OF GUY DANCERS. Just a few anyways...
1) THE STALKER (aka THE HUNTER, THE PROWLER, DUMBASS) So this is the guy who comes on to the dance floor by himself or with one or two other guys (wingmen, most likely) and then proceeds to find the nearest girl and start freaking her from behind. Usually he'll do this in a very obvious manner. And when the girl uses one of her "Rescue Tactics", and perhaps her friend will start to pull her away, the talker won't give up. He'll just move forward and keep grinding. He'll also try to put his hands on the girl (waist, etc.) which will quickly be smacked or pushed away. Once he's completely rejected by a girl or is subjected to a Rescue Tactic that is unfreakable [i.e. the girl protection sandwich, the rescue from another guy, or the "this is my boyfriend" tactic] then he'll move on to the next girl. He does this ALL NIGHT, and doesn't ever realize that THIS SHIT NEVER WORKS. He won't ask and he won't approach from the front. This is usually because, but not always, but usually, because he's ugly.
2) THE LONER (aka. THE PARTY OF ONE, THE WEIRD DANCER, THE GUY IN THE CORNER). This is the guy who comes to the club by himself. No other friends, no one. He comes by himself. period. He will usually look a little geeky, but that's not a necessity. This is the guy who looks like he didn't comb his hair or get ready to go to the club at all. It almost looks like he came off the street. Anyways, he stands in the corner, with lots of room around him. He will usually dance off beat, doing one of two styles: One that looks a lot like modern interpretive dance. [i.e. "i am a tree", "i am envy. See my pain..."]. He is in his own world. He is misunderstood by society. He is full of rage. He is mystery. Fear him. Hahaha. The other dance style is a wild style that has a whipping around of arms and legs. It is quite entertaining to watch, and will raise you dance ego immediately
BTW, you will never see any girls dance with this guy, although some girls will on a dare from their friends for free shots/drinks.
2a) THE OLD GUY IN THE CLUB (aka THE GRANDPA, THE DIRTY OLD GUY, THE "WAIT, HE'S NOT A BOUNCER???") There are always a few of these guys at every club. There is a general rule that I think is pretty understood. Once you turn 30, time to STOP CLUBBING. Then you hit cocktail lounges and dancehalls. Anyways, these guys will be at the club, not ever dancing, but standing against the wall or on the edge of the dancefloor with a drink in their hand. They are simply there to gawk at the eyecandy at the club. You do not want to be one of these. If you do become one, then you need to stay at home. If you are one, you need to stay at home. If you live with one, get them to stay home. If you are married to one, what were you thinking???
3) THE SPECIALIST (aka THE CROWDPLEASER, THE BREAKER, THE BATTLER) This is also a guy who you never see dancing with a girl, but this is because he's too busy battling other dancers. He creates a kind of inconvenience for the other dancers because he needs space to do his thing. He usually comes into a club wearing clothes that definitely does not meet the dress code standards, but he finds a way to get in anyways wearing his jeans and his beat up white adidas/nikes. Usually he'll come every week so he can get cool with the bouncers so they wont give him shit about his clothes and let him in. This is the guy is responsible for the "oooooOOOOOOHHHH" you hear from the crowd as well as having everyone stop dancing to watch. I'm bias tho, because i dont mind because i like breaking, locking, and especially popping.
4) THE COUPLES (aka THE OFF BEATS, THE VOMIT INDUCERS, THE PUNKASSES WHO KEEP ELBOWING YOU FROM BEHIND) So this isn't really one person but rather two -- this would be some couples that you see dancing on the dance floor in the club. They are clearly in their own world, or are at least dancing to a different beat than the rest of us, because they dance so off beat it's ridiculous. They have no consideration for those around them, because they constantly knock and bump into everyone around them. They really shitty ones hold hands as they dance which they hit into everyone, or the guy will hold the girl from behind, and in completely disregard for everyone else, will lean back into people. These people RUIN the dance floor. Oblivious to their surroundings, these people need to be taken off the dance floor, out of the club, and into the street.
4a) THE NASTY COUPLES (aka THE WHORES, THE "GET A ROOM!"'S) These are couples, but they have one big difference -- they look like they're trying to do foreplay on the dance floor. They'll make out or the guy will kiss up on the girls neck, or he'll feel the girl up so gross that even those watching will feel violated. You can literally feel the hormones coming from these people. You can spot these people because as soon as you see them your drink will taste bad because of the fact that you have probably just thrown up in your mouth a little. You can usually find these peoples in the corner, up against a wall, or under a table naked.
SPECIAL DANCE MOVES OF SHITTY GUY DANCERS
1) THE CAGE - I never really understood this one. You've all seen it. This is the move the a guy will do when he's dancing with a girl. He'll put his arms out on either side of her, fully stretched out. The especially bad ones will snap or point with their hands while they do this. I never understood this dance move. Why do guys this? I mean, when i'm getting down with a girl and the freaking happens, I might put one arm up, but both??? It looks like ur trying to keep the girl from getting away. But this is okay if you are a STALKER (see above)
2) THE TRAIN (aka THE LINE OF STALKERS) - This is SUPER annoying. This is when a group of guys will follow one another as they walk RIGHT THROUGH the dance floor. Then everyone has to let them through. The train may stop from time to time so that the STALKERS (see above) that make up this line can do their thing with the poor girls around them. You see this a lot at asian parties. But this is understandable since it is riduculous to go to an asian party without some girls to dance with. Why? Because all girls that go to an asian party will only dance with the friends that they've come with. Period. If you ask them to dance they will say no. And if they do say yes, they will act so entirely disgusted with you that you wont want to dance with them anyways. This is what creates the numerous trains at asian parties. Hilarious.
3) THE HUNCHBACK (aka THE WHO IS HE DANCING WITH?) - Okay, i've seen this several times..and there's no way i can really explain this. You HAVE to see it to believe it. Believe me, if you see it, YOU'LL KNOW. So, there is nothing wrong with freakin', i mean, I'm always down to get my freak on with a girl who can dance well. But lemme say this...if you are a guy, and you dont know how to freak, THEN DON'T DO IT. I'm not saying that I'm a freakin' master, but I'm just saying: if you dont know how to do it, then don't. If you didn't know how to catch an arrow in your hands before it hits you, would you still do it? no! And YES, that is a good analogy because watching someone freak who doesnt know how IS WORSE THAN DEATH. So the hunchback is...well, lemme see if i can explain it. See, you all read my previous post about how guys who cant dance will always freak a girl from behind, right? Well, the hunchback is what happens when they try to freak a girl from the front. Basically, the guy will pull the girl as close as he can to his center, and then bend over forwards. The girl will disappear from sight (i'm not kidding) and they guy will look like a hunchback from behind. Here, wanna see what it looks like? Okay, cross your arms in front of you like you're hugging someone..okay? Aight, now try and make your back look like a hunchback. Now, see how you look? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE HUNCHBACK LOOKS LIKE ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!! I've seen this a few times, the worst being: the 350 lbs fat mexican dude and his small gf (that POOR POOR POOR GIRL) at Zoes (BTW, it was hot as hell in that club and the genuis decides to wear a wool sweater). He bumped into me because he and his gf were a COUPLE (see above), and to say that his ENTIRE BEING was ULTRA-SWEATY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. His sweater had become a "sweat-er". The other worst time was watching a 6'10" white guy ENTIRELY ENVELOP his gf.
4) THE SIDE TO SIDE (aka WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING????) - This dance move is shared by shitty guy and girl dancers alike. I saw a white couple doing this together and I had to turn away so i could laugh. Okay, so before i talked about how bad dancers don't move their legs, right? So instead of doing a two step, imagine turning your upper body on each beat. Turn to one side, then turn to the other..got it? okay now do that FOR THE WHOLE SONG, and do not, under any circumstances, move your legs. Yeah, now imagine a couple doing that facing each other. Yeah, now imagine me laughing at them.
Till the next clubbing report, keep it realz, and for goodness sake, learn how to dance =P BTW, just because i criticize doesn't mean i'm the shit at dancing. That title would belong to a friend of mine, Jon.
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