Things to do this weekend
-Get over this DAMN migraine.
-Finish prototypes! (Almost done! SWEET!)
-Finish website so I can apply to jobs (And not get them)
-Work on report due on Monday (zzzz)
-GET PANCAKES (been craving them all weekend for some reason)
-Start looking for testing participants
-Contact TAP plastics to begin work on my more detailed prototype.
It's crazy that I'm finally starting to see the end of this road to get my masters. I'm going to finish for sure by May (barring any major fuckups). I'm definitely excited to graduate soon. I'm gonna walk fo sho..why? cuz I want my HOOD. That's right. HOOD. Tassles are out. Hoods are in.
Damn. I shoulda went. Oh wells. (cryptic blog shit. ignore.)
Dude. pancakes. I can already taste them. Oh man. I think i'll have pancakes tomorrow for dinner. Yeah.
I want to vegas. NOW. And in May. And then again in June. Seriously. I think i've gotten my second party wind. I want to go party it up...hit up a club or two, chill at a lounge or two, go to vegas and go crazy. Yes. Take a vacation. Go to Hawaii. Drive up to Napa. Take the kind of pictures that make people jealous that they weren't there with you. Yup. The only problem is I think i'm the only one in the group that is feeling this way (AKA immature and wanting to party). The rest of my crew up here are mature, legitimately making a competitive salary with excellent stock options so as to improve their portfolio and increase the dividends on their 401ks. Sadly, I am not. Oh wells!
Dude. i think a whole breakfast would be good too. Not just pancakes anymore, but eggs and hashbrowns. Damn. Yup.
I miss being in love. Okay, wow. that's jumping the gun. Okay. I miss dating. I miss that excitement. I miss that feeling where you feel like you have to see this one person because you've been thinking about them since you left them, and you feel like your heart is gonna explode when they walk into the the room/restaurant or how nervous you get when you see them coming towards your car and you get all flustered and yet the whole time you're smiling but not too big because you dont wanna seem like you're that excited cuz you wanna play it cool cuz you wanna look confident and everything. And then you sit there trying to think of the perfect thing to say, like the perfect joke that'll make her laugh like the really honest laugh and then after she's done she'll look at you like you just said the most perfect thing or joke that was exactly what she wanted to hear at that exact moment. And you know that all the stress, all the work, all the mental beat downs and pep talks, all the preparation, all the worries about if she'd like you and maybe she thinks you're dumb....all of that...just seems worth it. And in those 5 seconds where she reaches across the table and touches your hand, you feel like it would stay that way forever, but in a way it does, because those 5 seconds feel like 5 years. And then you close your eyes and in a split second you suddenly understand that feeling that every poet felt when he was writing a sappy love poem, and what all those R&B songs are talking about, and why your friends acted so stupid when that girl that they liked called them back i mean why did they get so excited, and all of a sudden all those cheesy cliches about life and love just dont seem so cheesy anymore especially that one that said something about living in the moment... and you just GET it.
Yeah. I miss that.
And if i'm stupid because of that, then i hope i stay the stupidest person alive. I'm already halfway there anyways =p
I miss that ALMOST as much as i miss PANCAKES right this second.
Have a good weekend peoples. It's 2am and i dont know why i'm awake, especially when i got this headache.
Saturday, April 1, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
ah no more work. well, the boss needs me on thursday, but other than that, it's been nice not working again. Too bad this week I really need to bust my ass on my thesis. I need to apply to a couple of jobs at Ideo too. Hopefully they'll reject me again and keep my expectations low, and my motivation high.
Today i didn't do much. Slept in..and I found that my back, legs, and right arm are hurting after playing baseball yesterday. That's what I get for not stretching. Oh wells. Even though I have the stamina of fat sloth, I still had a good time throwing the ball around. Hopefully one of these days when i'm chilling over at JAB house or Brendan's place we can throw the ball around rather than just playing video games the whole time. Either that or play mah jong. speaking of which...
i learned how to play mah jong. I have yet to experience what its like to WIN in mah jong, and I also have learned how to lose money at mah jong. Nevertheless, it was good fun, and I'm itching to play again. Half the fun of playing mah jong is fighting the urge to eat the tiles, which look amazingly like jello. However, I also learned that one should not rub their eyes after touching a mah jong set that has been in a chinese family for generations, for you will awake the Curse of a 1000 Year Old Dragons and get...
an eye infection. Yes, moments after playing mahjong i rubbed my eyes, which had gotten itchy. Soon my eye lid puffed up so much so that it began to affect my vision. Joy. The next day it was just as puffy, but then i put some neosporin in my eye (strange experience) along with some allergy eyedrops. Made it better, and by the next day it was all gone. What caused it? Maybe it was my dirty fingers, maybe it was the chinese mah jong set showing it's hatred for my japanese eyes, maybe mel has never washed her mah jong set, maybe jon/bryant/andy need to clean their table, who knows. Anways, it was a good thing it wasn't looking so bad the next day because...
I went to Jen and Aaron's Engagement party. There there was food. and lots of it. We ate, and we talked, as per usual. Our socials skills were at it's normal level, meaning we met no new people. However, it doesn't bother me, because I'm shy unless I have an outlet to meet new people. In other words, if a bunch of people are at a party, and they all already know each other, I'm probably not going to put out as much effort because it's too hard. I'll stick to my own group, which i did. Call it dumb, but that's how it is. On the plus side, I did meet a guy who has the ability to be funny no matter what he says. No really. The guy was taking a pic, and said "Take it easy!", and the shit was hilarious. No joke. There was lots of food...
just like at Sweet Tomatoes, which we went to eat at the next day. Yes, after baseball, we all showered (SEPARATELY), and then headed off to lose ourselves in a bounty of self-made salads and soups. Sweet Tomatoes is the northern california counterpart version 2.0 of Soup Plantation, which is southern cal. However, for some reason, tho they are of the same company, I find that Sweet Tomatoes tastes better. Why? I dunno. There is no reason why it should. Anyways, it was hella good. And most of the food there is okay for you. It was sunday tho, and it was packed. And then you look up the line, and you see some old person taking their sweet ass time with the corn AFTER the line starts moving again. However, Andy kept us entertained with the rules of tray entiquette when in line at a buffet (i.e. no tray bumping to the point of your tray rolling over theirs, no reaching over in front of ones tray in order to get something, etc.). Two more things i observed: There was this guy who was being hella picky and moving hella slow, and yet no matter how fast i moved to get around him, he would slowly move to where I watned to be or just be standing in front of what I wanted. So like, I wanted soup. I went to where the soup bowls are. He comes from the opposite direction (slowly). He gets there before I do. He doesnt' want the two bowls on the top tray, so he digs underneath the tray for one from the next level down. Slowly. After he's done digging (slowly), I grab one from the top cuz i'm not a picky SLOW person. ANyways, he walks away slowly, breathing slowly, moving slowly and thinking slowly. I get a spoon, and I walk over to the cream of potato soup. But he's slowly standing in front of the chowder. Just standing there. Existing slowly. I move to the right to move around him. He slowly shifts to the right. Then to the left. Finally he walks away. I go to the breadline afterwards to get some grain bread. Guess who's there, standing in front of bread, slowly putting butter on his plate. At that point, I slowly lost it, and I slowly kicked his ass, and he slowly reacted, and as far as I know, he's slowly coughing on the floor next to the bread line. ARGH! Second, I saw a man who had a gut. That's nothing new, I mean , I have a pretty mean gut myself. However, his gut looked like he was pregnant. I'm serious.. it's like his chest was thin, but when you get down to his lower stomach it's like BAM wsup triplets. And all i have to say to that is: TAKE IT EASY! Nevertheless, good conversation with good friends, and nothing beats that for sho.
Today I chilled with minh, who is back for spring break. Got some din din, and several coffees. Talked school and business plans, and how we need to make lots of money NOW. It was good catching up. We talked about the friends we still keep in touch with, and the friends we don't.
We also talked about how much we've learned about life since leaving SD. We both agreed that unless we can find killer jobs in SD, the chances of either of us moving back are next to nil. SD was fun, and i'd like to leave it at that.
Anyways, i'd better crash. I got a meeting with my thesis advisor tomorrow, then dance practice at night.
I think i'm gonna get a personal trainer. I gotta lose weight. For so many reason.
- - -
And on a final note...
It's been two years. It's crazy, but even though you're gone, now that i've grown up some, i can better understand and appreciate the kind of friend you were. Your belief of what a friend should be was truly ideal: humble, yet exuberant...loud and friendly, yet quiet and understanding...you never stood in anyone's way, unless they were heading in the wrong direction...your anticipation towards the ever-renewing excitement of life's experiences was contagious.
Today, I will remember what you stood for in life, and remember all that I have to be grateful for. You were never one to be negative and sad, and I will not spend this day having even ONE thought of that sort. You looked at life eyes wide open and a smile to match, and I think it's about time all of us that knew you (and those that didn't) tried to do the same. (Hey man, i said I would TRY. I ain't an optimist, remember lol)
I am eternally grateful that I was able to consider you my friend, and am eternally humbled that you considered me one of yours.
Rest in peace, buddy
Kenneth Tsang
11/10/1980 - 3/28/2004
Today i didn't do much. Slept in..and I found that my back, legs, and right arm are hurting after playing baseball yesterday. That's what I get for not stretching. Oh wells. Even though I have the stamina of fat sloth, I still had a good time throwing the ball around. Hopefully one of these days when i'm chilling over at JAB house or Brendan's place we can throw the ball around rather than just playing video games the whole time. Either that or play mah jong. speaking of which...
i learned how to play mah jong. I have yet to experience what its like to WIN in mah jong, and I also have learned how to lose money at mah jong. Nevertheless, it was good fun, and I'm itching to play again. Half the fun of playing mah jong is fighting the urge to eat the tiles, which look amazingly like jello. However, I also learned that one should not rub their eyes after touching a mah jong set that has been in a chinese family for generations, for you will awake the Curse of a 1000 Year Old Dragons and get...
an eye infection. Yes, moments after playing mahjong i rubbed my eyes, which had gotten itchy. Soon my eye lid puffed up so much so that it began to affect my vision. Joy. The next day it was just as puffy, but then i put some neosporin in my eye (strange experience) along with some allergy eyedrops. Made it better, and by the next day it was all gone. What caused it? Maybe it was my dirty fingers, maybe it was the chinese mah jong set showing it's hatred for my japanese eyes, maybe mel has never washed her mah jong set, maybe jon/bryant/andy need to clean their table, who knows. Anways, it was a good thing it wasn't looking so bad the next day because...
I went to Jen and Aaron's Engagement party. There there was food. and lots of it. We ate, and we talked, as per usual. Our socials skills were at it's normal level, meaning we met no new people. However, it doesn't bother me, because I'm shy unless I have an outlet to meet new people. In other words, if a bunch of people are at a party, and they all already know each other, I'm probably not going to put out as much effort because it's too hard. I'll stick to my own group, which i did. Call it dumb, but that's how it is. On the plus side, I did meet a guy who has the ability to be funny no matter what he says. No really. The guy was taking a pic, and said "Take it easy!", and the shit was hilarious. No joke. There was lots of food...
just like at Sweet Tomatoes, which we went to eat at the next day. Yes, after baseball, we all showered (SEPARATELY), and then headed off to lose ourselves in a bounty of self-made salads and soups. Sweet Tomatoes is the northern california counterpart version 2.0 of Soup Plantation, which is southern cal. However, for some reason, tho they are of the same company, I find that Sweet Tomatoes tastes better. Why? I dunno. There is no reason why it should. Anyways, it was hella good. And most of the food there is okay for you. It was sunday tho, and it was packed. And then you look up the line, and you see some old person taking their sweet ass time with the corn AFTER the line starts moving again. However, Andy kept us entertained with the rules of tray entiquette when in line at a buffet (i.e. no tray bumping to the point of your tray rolling over theirs, no reaching over in front of ones tray in order to get something, etc.). Two more things i observed: There was this guy who was being hella picky and moving hella slow, and yet no matter how fast i moved to get around him, he would slowly move to where I watned to be or just be standing in front of what I wanted. So like, I wanted soup. I went to where the soup bowls are. He comes from the opposite direction (slowly). He gets there before I do. He doesnt' want the two bowls on the top tray, so he digs underneath the tray for one from the next level down. Slowly. After he's done digging (slowly), I grab one from the top cuz i'm not a picky SLOW person. ANyways, he walks away slowly, breathing slowly, moving slowly and thinking slowly. I get a spoon, and I walk over to the cream of potato soup. But he's slowly standing in front of the chowder. Just standing there. Existing slowly. I move to the right to move around him. He slowly shifts to the right. Then to the left. Finally he walks away. I go to the breadline afterwards to get some grain bread. Guess who's there, standing in front of bread, slowly putting butter on his plate. At that point, I slowly lost it, and I slowly kicked his ass, and he slowly reacted, and as far as I know, he's slowly coughing on the floor next to the bread line. ARGH! Second, I saw a man who had a gut. That's nothing new, I mean , I have a pretty mean gut myself. However, his gut looked like he was pregnant. I'm serious.. it's like his chest was thin, but when you get down to his lower stomach it's like BAM wsup triplets. And all i have to say to that is: TAKE IT EASY! Nevertheless, good conversation with good friends, and nothing beats that for sho.
Today I chilled with minh, who is back for spring break. Got some din din, and several coffees. Talked school and business plans, and how we need to make lots of money NOW. It was good catching up. We talked about the friends we still keep in touch with, and the friends we don't.
We also talked about how much we've learned about life since leaving SD. We both agreed that unless we can find killer jobs in SD, the chances of either of us moving back are next to nil. SD was fun, and i'd like to leave it at that.
Anyways, i'd better crash. I got a meeting with my thesis advisor tomorrow, then dance practice at night.
I think i'm gonna get a personal trainer. I gotta lose weight. For so many reason.
- - -
And on a final note...
It's been two years. It's crazy, but even though you're gone, now that i've grown up some, i can better understand and appreciate the kind of friend you were. Your belief of what a friend should be was truly ideal: humble, yet exuberant...loud and friendly, yet quiet and understanding...you never stood in anyone's way, unless they were heading in the wrong direction...your anticipation towards the ever-renewing excitement of life's experiences was contagious.
Today, I will remember what you stood for in life, and remember all that I have to be grateful for. You were never one to be negative and sad, and I will not spend this day having even ONE thought of that sort. You looked at life eyes wide open and a smile to match, and I think it's about time all of us that knew you (and those that didn't) tried to do the same. (Hey man, i said I would TRY. I ain't an optimist, remember lol)
I am eternally grateful that I was able to consider you my friend, and am eternally humbled that you considered me one of yours.
Rest in peace, buddy
Kenneth Tsang
11/10/1980 - 3/28/2004
Friday, March 17, 2006
Goddammit.
I see people around me,
and I see things in them that make me laugh
feel sorry for them. What the hell kind of person
acts the way that they do?
Tactless insecurity mixed with no confidence.
Requested bandages for emotional wounds that are thrust in the faces of others.
Complains about the filet mignon while the world starves around them.
I shake my head, but then.
Then I see those elements in myself.
Either hiding beneath the surface,
or just simply hiding, daring me to recognize their existance instead of constantly denying it.
I see people around me.
and I see things in them that make me jealous.
How i long to be able to look as they do, or think as they do.
An outside so beautiful or
an inside so strong
that nothing can hurt them, even if given permission.
They live their days, with neither a pessimistic cloud or a optimistic smiling sun in their sky
Perfectly content, a middle ground comfortable existance, for they know that extremes usually lead to one another.
Their feet surely grounded, and never in their mouths.
While I am given the impossible task of finding such a state within myself.
Missing elements.
I hope that with each mental rock overturned,
I can discover them.
So here i am.
Not content with where i am,
but very content from the distance i've run from where i've been
But that still doesn't answer the question
Where do i go from here?
And how will i know when i've gotten there?
clv.
I see people around me,
and I see things in them that make me laugh
feel sorry for them. What the hell kind of person
acts the way that they do?
Tactless insecurity mixed with no confidence.
Requested bandages for emotional wounds that are thrust in the faces of others.
Complains about the filet mignon while the world starves around them.
I shake my head, but then.
Then I see those elements in myself.
Either hiding beneath the surface,
or just simply hiding, daring me to recognize their existance instead of constantly denying it.
I see people around me.
and I see things in them that make me jealous.
How i long to be able to look as they do, or think as they do.
An outside so beautiful or
an inside so strong
that nothing can hurt them, even if given permission.
They live their days, with neither a pessimistic cloud or a optimistic smiling sun in their sky
Perfectly content, a middle ground comfortable existance, for they know that extremes usually lead to one another.
Their feet surely grounded, and never in their mouths.
While I am given the impossible task of finding such a state within myself.
Missing elements.
I hope that with each mental rock overturned,
I can discover them.
So here i am.
Not content with where i am,
but very content from the distance i've run from where i've been
But that still doesn't answer the question
Where do i go from here?
And how will i know when i've gotten there?
clv.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
poems, but not really. more like. mental ramblings?
lost somewhere within the vast plane inside my consciousness
I've finally gotten some footing, as I've fallen farther out.
It's almost as if i've secured a steady stance on a small piece of rock,
floating out into the middle of nowhere.
With tricky part of gaining the knowledge of your surroundings
is that it can show you how small you are, and how large the world is around you.
and suddenly, that tiny bedroom you were stuck in doesn't seem so bad anymore.
- - -
everyone has someone that can hurt them
as much as we hate to admit it.
a person who always has the right words to say, the right perspective of you, the right actions
to make you feel so damn wrong.
and
as time goes on, with it's inevitable learning and growing,
and you let your strength and knowledge of more important things
serve as a shield against those actions which could drive you down that path.
but it doesn't matter.
Because that one person.
No matter how hard you try to forget
or forgive
or leave
you can never really slam the door shut.
And when they wander back into your surroundings
and treat you like you're still the same person that you were yesterday
all that strength and knowledge is lost.
fallen victim to a past ideal that is no longer there
but you just refuse to believe it.
Learning how to walk again, as the world runs past you with no regrets.
- - -
it's easy to be okay with who you are,
but seems like you can never be okay with who you were.
- - -
i wish i could give up.
Everyone else can.
I wish i could make it all better
Everyone else can.
I wish I could do what you can.
and i'm sure you're happy that you could do, what i can't.
- - -
i'm not sad, but i'm not happy either.
and that's the best place to learn.
I'm getting there...
lost somewhere within the vast plane inside my consciousness
I've finally gotten some footing, as I've fallen farther out.
It's almost as if i've secured a steady stance on a small piece of rock,
floating out into the middle of nowhere.
With tricky part of gaining the knowledge of your surroundings
is that it can show you how small you are, and how large the world is around you.
and suddenly, that tiny bedroom you were stuck in doesn't seem so bad anymore.
- - -
everyone has someone that can hurt them
as much as we hate to admit it.
a person who always has the right words to say, the right perspective of you, the right actions
to make you feel so damn wrong.
and
as time goes on, with it's inevitable learning and growing,
and you let your strength and knowledge of more important things
serve as a shield against those actions which could drive you down that path.
but it doesn't matter.
Because that one person.
No matter how hard you try to forget
or forgive
or leave
you can never really slam the door shut.
And when they wander back into your surroundings
and treat you like you're still the same person that you were yesterday
all that strength and knowledge is lost.
fallen victim to a past ideal that is no longer there
but you just refuse to believe it.
Learning how to walk again, as the world runs past you with no regrets.
- - -
it's easy to be okay with who you are,
but seems like you can never be okay with who you were.
- - -
i wish i could give up.
Everyone else can.
I wish i could make it all better
Everyone else can.
I wish I could do what you can.
and i'm sure you're happy that you could do, what i can't.
- - -
i'm not sad, but i'm not happy either.
and that's the best place to learn.
I'm getting there...
Monday, March 6, 2006
aight. i'm gonna have to put a hold on that poem for a while. i'm just...not in the mood. This poem requires me to take two different points of view right now, and i just can't put myself into the positive side (haha i know i know) far enough to put the words together in a way that i find satisfactory. It's okay, i know that the two of you that read this shit aren't sitting on the edge of your seats, so i'm sure a few more days can be given before you grind your teeth down to the gum. go sarcasm. lol.
this entry is gonna be a super ass random one. it's gonna cover a bunch of topics, from both petty ones to daily happenings to food. unless i get tired and bored, which that case, it will end with a brick wall.
so yeah...here goes.
You know, the other day i was thinking bout what i had had for lunch when i was talking to one of my thesis advisors at his workplace (yahoo!). I had gotten a portabella mushroom and blue cheese panini sandwich. It was not good. It seems that the sandwich was missing something, and the bite of the blue cheese, which i usually find good, was overpowering with the bland mushroom. Luckily I had a couple pickles with me to introduce some palet cleaning sourness to my tastebuds, but it was not enough. The sandwich was left partially uneaten, and I could hear the rage of the hungry everywhere beating down my conscience. Moral of the story: There are two actually 1) get sandwiches with meat in them 2) when telling a simple story, the use of weird analogies and strange long words like "palet" are uncessary. lol
speakin of sandwiches, when introducing someone to togos (aka, they have never had togo's before), it's important to not let them start with hot pastrami. This is because if the person eats hot pastrami, they will experience the literal mouth orgasm of flavors, and from then on, they will have to eat the hot pastrami every time they go to togos. You cannot eat hot pastrami, and then try and eat an avocado turkey. It just wont work, and it'll only be a few forced bites before the tears start. Oh the humanity. Now would be an excellent time to bring up the unfairness of all good tasting things being bad for you.
green tea thing at jamba juice = good
green tea latte at starbucks = ass
i wish i didn't have to eat. I would save time. I would save money. I would lose weight. Yup.
- - -
So on friday, I went to the club in SF known as Rouge. This place is roughly the size of two 2-car garages put together. Aka. it was SMALL. Me, shan, jon, and julie rolled up to support mel's dance team (it was a fundraiser). Lemme say right now, that all of us went to support pdc, and none of this "review" has anything with what i think of their team or any of their events. Without being a brown nose, it must be pointed out that they're great dancers, and anyone who is a great dancer should be given then their props, as i have found that there are a LOT of people who CAN'T.
So yeah. Rouge, being small, was PACKED to the fucking WALLS. Yes. From the windows to the walls. And yes, sweat was dripping off balls because it was SO DAMN PACKED. Have i made it clear? okay. But yeah. It was like an asian party. So imagine, if you will, a small club, packed to death filled with all asian people. Now, i dont care what kind of people are in a club. black, white, red, brown, green, yellow, purple. In fact, i dont get why people dont like asian parties. But this one wasn't that great because it was an asian cockfest. Yes. THere were many more sausages than eggs at this clubbing event, and that made it the suck.
But why? Well, there were several reasons:
1) NO DANCE ROOM ON THE DANCE FLOOR. I like poppin'. But if i can't pop, then at least I would like to have enough room to do a little two step and get down. But if I can't even do that, then it really stinks. Going clubbing and not being able to dance is like going to the buffet and not being able to eat. This is because if you remove dancing from a club, then all you have left to do is sit and drink. And sitting is usually out because tables and chairs are for vips with lots of money, and if all ur gonna is drink, ur better off going to a lounge. This place had no room to dance. No room at all. It was packed. Do i need to say how packed it was again? But hey, at least if a place is packed, you would hope that there are good dancers, so you can check out some fly moves at least, right?
2) Wrong. EITHER I HAVE BECOME THE BEST DANCER IN THE WORLD, OR ASIANS CAN'T DANCE. While I think the former is WAY wrong, we are only left with the later. Seriously. I have seen some bad dancing (i.e san diego. think about it.), but this night i was ESPECIALLY bad. I mean, people were just plain CRAP. It was horrible. And nothing is worse than seeing a guy (who can't dance), try and freak a girl (who can't dance). Also,
2A) LITTLE ASIAN GIRLS WHO SUCK AT DANCING AND THEN THROW THEM 'BOWS. Okay. Just because you're a little asian girl doesn't mean you can just shove ur way behind me and then start dancing like an amazon woman with a bad case of the itch. I would never hit a girl ever, but if you start putting your elbows in my back, I might have to back it up on you. Or start rave dancing, complete with all the kicking, and no one wants that.
3) THE HAND HOLDING TRAIN OF LOVE. So ur getting ur dance on, and all of a sudden ur interrupted. Oh, a girl wants to get through. Okay that's fine. But then, oh..she's holding hands with her friend, who's holding hands with HER friend, who's holding hands with her friend, who is finally holding hands with her bf, who is being led like a little doggie of the female persuasion. And so you are left to find the energy and rhythm again, after having to wait for this damn hand holding train to pass through. But because it would be UNTHINKABLE to just WALK behind ur friends. Every time this happens i wanna karatechop this bond and see if the two people float away from one another screaming. *CHOP*. "nooooo...grab my hand! grab my hand!!!!" "I can't!!" "nooooo......I'll never forget you!!" "Never!!!!"
4) ASIAN GUYS WHO ROLL 4 TO 5 DEEP, AND THEN PROCEED TO SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WITH EACH OTHER, HOLDING A DRINK, AND STOPPING MOMENTARILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET A GIRL TO DANCE WITH THEM. AND ALL THE WHILE, THEY WALK RIGHT BY ME, AND USUALLY PUT THEIR HANDS ON MY SHOULDERS OR USUALLY MY BACK SO THEY CAN GET BY ME. Okay. Number one, do not roll to a club with all guys thinking you'll meet girls there. YOU WON'T. No girl, especially at an asian party, is looking to meet a guy at the club. And even if they are open to that option, they aren't gonna dance with you. Why? Because your stank ass with the short fade haircut and the jeans with the button up banana republic/H&M/express for men shirt and black shoes looks just like every other guy in this joint. Including ME (sucks for you). And asian girls ONLY dance with their friends. And btw, you will not be getting any girls by walking through the crowd with a look of utter boredom, not smiling, and then trying to get the girls attention by grabbing them arm, yelling "hey girl", or trying to get a quick backdoor surprise on. People used to give me shit for wanting to always go with an equal number of guys and girls, but there is good reason, and that's why. Furthermore, if i'm triying to dance with one of the girls in my group, dont walk inbetween us, yah dumbshit. And finally, and most importantly, if you wanna walk by me, just WALK. Do NOT put your hands on the small of my back. That's all kinds of brokeback, and while i know i'm unresistable to all creatures on this earth, I dont roll that way, so sorry son.
5) APPARENTLY, THERE IS A NATIONAL CONTEST THAT IS CURRENTLY GOING ON TO SEE WHO THE SUCKIEST DJ IS, AND ALL THE CLUB DJS ARE FIGHTING FOR THE TITLE.
Here are some of the songs that were played:
-Kelly Clarkson, Since You've been gone
-Red hot chili peppers
-I love rock and roll
-nine inch nails, closer
-two slow jams, during which people started slow dancing (THIS AIN'T WINTER FORMAL)
And of course, no funk, no roger and zapp, nothing.
And there were other reasons why the experience wasn't that great...(more serious ones)
1) STAGE FRIGHT. For all the practicing I do, I still get nervous when I try and do some poppin' in public. I get off beat, i forget all the moves, and I just lose the funkiness. I hate it. Seems like the only place where i really feel like i'm on is my bedroom. I guess i'll have to make a club that looks like my bedroom if i really wanna dance well. It's hella annoying. I'm sure I would be better in a battle situation where you really gotta freestyle, but again, see reason number 1 above. One day, i'll hit it, and the nervousness will go away, but until that day comes, i'm stuck doing the same shit.
2) CONFIDENCE. i just aint' all that. i aint' shit, but i ain't all that. So when i see someone who i think is cute, and she isn't a stranger, it's not like i'm gonna ask her if she wants to dance. Again, it's not like i dont have any confidence, i just dont see how i'm any better than any other guy in the club. oh wells, that's life, right?
Nevertheless, clubbing is always fun no matter what. For mainly the above reasons, I can always find something to laugh about with the people i'm with.
- - -
i dont get love. i just don't. I thought i did. or maybe it's just that i dont get what love does to people. I dont get how people perceive relationships. I dont get a lot of it.
I do know that i haven't been in love for so long, even after i had gone through some of the biggest milestones in realizing the right and wrong ways to handle a relationship, and it's almost like i've forgotten what it's like. Or maybe it's like, i've never experienced it at all since i've changed so much these past two years. Or maybe, i'm jaded. Or maybe, i never understood anything in the first place.
I think of things that a make a relationship what it is. A glance that's held for a second longer than usual. A hug thats just a bit tighter than usual. A smile that's just a little bit bigger. The way a hand is held, a face is caressed, and how a soft kiss is given. I can barely remember these things, and i think it's because i, like i said above, have just not had the chance to experience these things in my new frame of mind. I try not to think of these things. I try to look towards the future. Brighter tomorrows of possiblity over thoughts of a lost yesterday.
The heart, like any other muscle in your body, if left stagnant, grows weak. Maybe this is why people can't be alone, or feel the need to be in a relationship. Maybe not so much because they dont want to feel like they're alone int he world, but more because theydont want to let the crispness of their emotions, or feelings toward love...their "love skills" so to speak...die away.
Do i not care as mucha nymore? Maybe I'm more indifferent, if not at least slightly confused (what i like to call knowledge). But i can't say that i just dont care anymore. if that was the case, then i wouldn't even be writing this, would i? Or maybe i feel like i'm not ready for a relationship. Or maybe i just feel like i dont really have that much to offer compared to the rest of the options a cool girl has. You may call that lack of confidence, but i dont need to fog my judgement up to cover up the truth that there are an assortment of flavors in this world for a girl to choose from, and that a lot of those flavors are more exciting than me. That ain't self hate, that's just the truth, and it's been told to me to my face.
btw, this isn't some cry out for help. ("single girls, come save me with your love!!!" lolz). just the thoughts rolling around in my pea sized brain.
I guess that's what happens tho. Confusion and frutration can only be tolerated for so long before it just turns into indifference.
whatevers. that's just that feeling again...and i figure I dont give it much voice anymore, crushing it down, so i thought i would for once.
- - -
oh man, i can't wait. A list has been created of an assortment of things that my friends and I up here have to do. I still haven't been to the winchester mystery house, or wine tasting in napa, etc. etc. It's about time we all did. Nothing is accomplished by just sitting on our asses, and it's about time we take action.
- - -
man i hate ironing. I dunno how my mom does it every week. I think i should start ironing my own shit cuz i'm 26 and my mom shouldn't be doing all my laundry for me. Shit. I should be cooking HER dinner.
- - -
Being taken for granted is the worst feeling ever. Being not surprised by it is even worse.
this entry is gonna be a super ass random one. it's gonna cover a bunch of topics, from both petty ones to daily happenings to food. unless i get tired and bored, which that case, it will end with a brick wall.
so yeah...here goes.
You know, the other day i was thinking bout what i had had for lunch when i was talking to one of my thesis advisors at his workplace (yahoo!). I had gotten a portabella mushroom and blue cheese panini sandwich. It was not good. It seems that the sandwich was missing something, and the bite of the blue cheese, which i usually find good, was overpowering with the bland mushroom. Luckily I had a couple pickles with me to introduce some palet cleaning sourness to my tastebuds, but it was not enough. The sandwich was left partially uneaten, and I could hear the rage of the hungry everywhere beating down my conscience. Moral of the story: There are two actually 1) get sandwiches with meat in them 2) when telling a simple story, the use of weird analogies and strange long words like "palet" are uncessary. lol
speakin of sandwiches, when introducing someone to togos (aka, they have never had togo's before), it's important to not let them start with hot pastrami. This is because if the person eats hot pastrami, they will experience the literal mouth orgasm of flavors, and from then on, they will have to eat the hot pastrami every time they go to togos. You cannot eat hot pastrami, and then try and eat an avocado turkey. It just wont work, and it'll only be a few forced bites before the tears start. Oh the humanity. Now would be an excellent time to bring up the unfairness of all good tasting things being bad for you.
green tea thing at jamba juice = good
green tea latte at starbucks = ass
i wish i didn't have to eat. I would save time. I would save money. I would lose weight. Yup.
- - -
So on friday, I went to the club in SF known as Rouge. This place is roughly the size of two 2-car garages put together. Aka. it was SMALL. Me, shan, jon, and julie rolled up to support mel's dance team (it was a fundraiser). Lemme say right now, that all of us went to support pdc, and none of this "review" has anything with what i think of their team or any of their events. Without being a brown nose, it must be pointed out that they're great dancers, and anyone who is a great dancer should be given then their props, as i have found that there are a LOT of people who CAN'T.
So yeah. Rouge, being small, was PACKED to the fucking WALLS. Yes. From the windows to the walls. And yes, sweat was dripping off balls because it was SO DAMN PACKED. Have i made it clear? okay. But yeah. It was like an asian party. So imagine, if you will, a small club, packed to death filled with all asian people. Now, i dont care what kind of people are in a club. black, white, red, brown, green, yellow, purple. In fact, i dont get why people dont like asian parties. But this one wasn't that great because it was an asian cockfest. Yes. THere were many more sausages than eggs at this clubbing event, and that made it the suck.
But why? Well, there were several reasons:
1) NO DANCE ROOM ON THE DANCE FLOOR. I like poppin'. But if i can't pop, then at least I would like to have enough room to do a little two step and get down. But if I can't even do that, then it really stinks. Going clubbing and not being able to dance is like going to the buffet and not being able to eat. This is because if you remove dancing from a club, then all you have left to do is sit and drink. And sitting is usually out because tables and chairs are for vips with lots of money, and if all ur gonna is drink, ur better off going to a lounge. This place had no room to dance. No room at all. It was packed. Do i need to say how packed it was again? But hey, at least if a place is packed, you would hope that there are good dancers, so you can check out some fly moves at least, right?
2) Wrong. EITHER I HAVE BECOME THE BEST DANCER IN THE WORLD, OR ASIANS CAN'T DANCE. While I think the former is WAY wrong, we are only left with the later. Seriously. I have seen some bad dancing (i.e san diego. think about it.), but this night i was ESPECIALLY bad. I mean, people were just plain CRAP. It was horrible. And nothing is worse than seeing a guy (who can't dance), try and freak a girl (who can't dance). Also,
2A) LITTLE ASIAN GIRLS WHO SUCK AT DANCING AND THEN THROW THEM 'BOWS. Okay. Just because you're a little asian girl doesn't mean you can just shove ur way behind me and then start dancing like an amazon woman with a bad case of the itch. I would never hit a girl ever, but if you start putting your elbows in my back, I might have to back it up on you. Or start rave dancing, complete with all the kicking, and no one wants that.
3) THE HAND HOLDING TRAIN OF LOVE. So ur getting ur dance on, and all of a sudden ur interrupted. Oh, a girl wants to get through. Okay that's fine. But then, oh..she's holding hands with her friend, who's holding hands with HER friend, who's holding hands with her friend, who is finally holding hands with her bf, who is being led like a little doggie of the female persuasion. And so you are left to find the energy and rhythm again, after having to wait for this damn hand holding train to pass through. But because it would be UNTHINKABLE to just WALK behind ur friends. Every time this happens i wanna karatechop this bond and see if the two people float away from one another screaming. *CHOP*. "nooooo...grab my hand! grab my hand!!!!" "I can't!!" "nooooo......I'll never forget you!!" "Never!!!!"
4) ASIAN GUYS WHO ROLL 4 TO 5 DEEP, AND THEN PROCEED TO SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WITH EACH OTHER, HOLDING A DRINK, AND STOPPING MOMENTARILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET A GIRL TO DANCE WITH THEM. AND ALL THE WHILE, THEY WALK RIGHT BY ME, AND USUALLY PUT THEIR HANDS ON MY SHOULDERS OR USUALLY MY BACK SO THEY CAN GET BY ME. Okay. Number one, do not roll to a club with all guys thinking you'll meet girls there. YOU WON'T. No girl, especially at an asian party, is looking to meet a guy at the club. And even if they are open to that option, they aren't gonna dance with you. Why? Because your stank ass with the short fade haircut and the jeans with the button up banana republic/H&M/express for men shirt and black shoes looks just like every other guy in this joint. Including ME (sucks for you). And asian girls ONLY dance with their friends. And btw, you will not be getting any girls by walking through the crowd with a look of utter boredom, not smiling, and then trying to get the girls attention by grabbing them arm, yelling "hey girl", or trying to get a quick backdoor surprise on. People used to give me shit for wanting to always go with an equal number of guys and girls, but there is good reason, and that's why. Furthermore, if i'm triying to dance with one of the girls in my group, dont walk inbetween us, yah dumbshit. And finally, and most importantly, if you wanna walk by me, just WALK. Do NOT put your hands on the small of my back. That's all kinds of brokeback, and while i know i'm unresistable to all creatures on this earth, I dont roll that way, so sorry son.
5) APPARENTLY, THERE IS A NATIONAL CONTEST THAT IS CURRENTLY GOING ON TO SEE WHO THE SUCKIEST DJ IS, AND ALL THE CLUB DJS ARE FIGHTING FOR THE TITLE.
Here are some of the songs that were played:
-Kelly Clarkson, Since You've been gone
-Red hot chili peppers
-I love rock and roll
-nine inch nails, closer
-two slow jams, during which people started slow dancing (THIS AIN'T WINTER FORMAL)
And of course, no funk, no roger and zapp, nothing.
And there were other reasons why the experience wasn't that great...(more serious ones)
1) STAGE FRIGHT. For all the practicing I do, I still get nervous when I try and do some poppin' in public. I get off beat, i forget all the moves, and I just lose the funkiness. I hate it. Seems like the only place where i really feel like i'm on is my bedroom. I guess i'll have to make a club that looks like my bedroom if i really wanna dance well. It's hella annoying. I'm sure I would be better in a battle situation where you really gotta freestyle, but again, see reason number 1 above. One day, i'll hit it, and the nervousness will go away, but until that day comes, i'm stuck doing the same shit.
2) CONFIDENCE. i just aint' all that. i aint' shit, but i ain't all that. So when i see someone who i think is cute, and she isn't a stranger, it's not like i'm gonna ask her if she wants to dance. Again, it's not like i dont have any confidence, i just dont see how i'm any better than any other guy in the club. oh wells, that's life, right?
Nevertheless, clubbing is always fun no matter what. For mainly the above reasons, I can always find something to laugh about with the people i'm with.
- - -
i dont get love. i just don't. I thought i did. or maybe it's just that i dont get what love does to people. I dont get how people perceive relationships. I dont get a lot of it.
I do know that i haven't been in love for so long, even after i had gone through some of the biggest milestones in realizing the right and wrong ways to handle a relationship, and it's almost like i've forgotten what it's like. Or maybe it's like, i've never experienced it at all since i've changed so much these past two years. Or maybe, i'm jaded. Or maybe, i never understood anything in the first place.
I think of things that a make a relationship what it is. A glance that's held for a second longer than usual. A hug thats just a bit tighter than usual. A smile that's just a little bit bigger. The way a hand is held, a face is caressed, and how a soft kiss is given. I can barely remember these things, and i think it's because i, like i said above, have just not had the chance to experience these things in my new frame of mind. I try not to think of these things. I try to look towards the future. Brighter tomorrows of possiblity over thoughts of a lost yesterday.
The heart, like any other muscle in your body, if left stagnant, grows weak. Maybe this is why people can't be alone, or feel the need to be in a relationship. Maybe not so much because they dont want to feel like they're alone int he world, but more because theydont want to let the crispness of their emotions, or feelings toward love...their "love skills" so to speak...die away.
Do i not care as mucha nymore? Maybe I'm more indifferent, if not at least slightly confused (what i like to call knowledge). But i can't say that i just dont care anymore. if that was the case, then i wouldn't even be writing this, would i? Or maybe i feel like i'm not ready for a relationship. Or maybe i just feel like i dont really have that much to offer compared to the rest of the options a cool girl has. You may call that lack of confidence, but i dont need to fog my judgement up to cover up the truth that there are an assortment of flavors in this world for a girl to choose from, and that a lot of those flavors are more exciting than me. That ain't self hate, that's just the truth, and it's been told to me to my face.
btw, this isn't some cry out for help. ("single girls, come save me with your love!!!" lolz). just the thoughts rolling around in my pea sized brain.
I guess that's what happens tho. Confusion and frutration can only be tolerated for so long before it just turns into indifference.
whatevers. that's just that feeling again...and i figure I dont give it much voice anymore, crushing it down, so i thought i would for once.
- - -
oh man, i can't wait. A list has been created of an assortment of things that my friends and I up here have to do. I still haven't been to the winchester mystery house, or wine tasting in napa, etc. etc. It's about time we all did. Nothing is accomplished by just sitting on our asses, and it's about time we take action.
- - -
man i hate ironing. I dunno how my mom does it every week. I think i should start ironing my own shit cuz i'm 26 and my mom shouldn't be doing all my laundry for me. Shit. I should be cooking HER dinner.
- - -
Being taken for granted is the worst feeling ever. Being not surprised by it is even worse.
Monday, February 27, 2006
ooooh i've been neglecting this blog, and so i shall write in it. But first I gotta shower.
brb.
aight back. And so fresh and so clean.
So Cal Trip 2-17 to 2-19
Aight so the so cal trip. The trip down to OC was coo. but it was off to a rocky start when i failed to realize that it was presidents day weekend. Additionally, apparently it was also the beginning of "winter break" or some shit for kids, so the airport was EXTRA packed. So I got to the airport at 730AM on friday morning, hoping to get into my flight at 8am. Well, the security line went through the airport, up the ramps, into the parking lot, and zigzagged over itself FIVE times. It was like being at a shitty disneyland. So i miss my flight, and then I just barely get on the next one. I also have the pleasure of sitting next to the man with the fattest legs i have ever seen, which is interesting, because the rest of him was not fat. That sucks. I was in a rotten mood, mainly because I hadn't eaten, and so therefore, the only delight i found on the plane as I drifted into a pissed off sleep was hearing the little kids cry out in pain as we increased altitude. LOL. Jacked, huh?
Anyways, once i got to the OC, it was fine. I chilled with helen, and then met up with my good friend mike. It was awesome seeing them both. We chilled at south coast for a while, and then went to get some boba, waiting for traffic to die down. We then picked up minh, and we headed to this ramen place in anaheim (mike's secret spot). He said this was the best ramen place in U.S.A., and since this guy is pretty much a japanese guy in a white man's body (i.e. mike can speak pretty much fluent japanese, can read fluently as well, has a japanese girlfriend, has a japanese family over in japan (they "adopted" him)), and thus i trust his judgement when it comes to japanese food. Upon reaching the restaurant, he ordered for me, minh, and himself (cha-siu (sp?) pork ramen and a side of friend rice). He ordered us to drink the broth as soon as it came, and was a bit disappointed when we got our orders that the broth wasn't boiling hot. He noted that the broth tastes different everyday since it's homemade, and that we had come on maybe a B+ day. Anyways, the stuff was delicious. Absolutely delicious. It tasted a lot better than the crap back in the bay, and the crappy place in SD. Maybe I need to try other places, but the place on saratoga, and especially the place on convoy do not measure up.
Anyways, after that, we dropped minh off, and helen off at her car, and then off to mike's place. Mike lives with his grandma, who was gracious enough to let me crash at her phat pad. I got to stay in the guest room, and it had a FULL sized bed. This was bomb for two reasons: 1) I had been on my damn feet all day, and I had barely gotten any sleep the night before and 2) my bed at home is a fucking twin. There was one portion of my life where i had the wonderful experience to sleep in a full sized bed the majority of the time, but those days are long gone, and i'm once again stuck in a fucking twin sized bed. Bah. When i move out of my parents place, and i get a good paying job, i'm gonna buy myself a CALIFORNIA KING, JUST FOR ME, with 8000 thread count sheets. Yeah.
The next day, we headed down to SD. That was a trip and a half. I hadn't been to sd in many many months. I had nearly forgotten what it looked like. It was even better going down because I totally over it, meaning that now that i had gotten used to living in the bay, it was not a melancholy experience to visit SD. I didn't get to see a lot of people, but then again, i didn't exepect to. I did see bobby, DJ cham, george, randall, fiona, norm (thanks for the drinks homie), brian, JEN, neil, alan, leslie, christina, and the lo. It was tite. We ate dinner at this japanese restaurant i've never been to, then we went to typhoon, and I was immediately reminded of how much SD DJs suck. The night ended with going to Roberts #2, which was a flavor well-missed. I wish I had time to stay in SD longer, but it was a good enough taste.
The next day I headed back up to OC with mike, then chilled with helen until I had to go to the airport. It was good to see her.
Heading back home again, I was NOT surprised to find that my flight had been DELAYED. How delayed? Like an HOUR. This leads me to express a big FUCK YOU to southwest. While I was waiting in line way back in the beginning of the blog, I was surprised to see an American Airlines agent going up and down the line to grab people who had flights who were leaving soon and move them to the front of the line. Southwest said that was not their policy to do such things. Well FUCK YOU SOUTHWEST. That's the LAST time i'm flying on their broke-dick airline!! [broke-dick is slang courtesy of J. Quigz, aka Randall]
It was nice to be back home, as I've realized that living at home has made me a lot more clean that I used to be. I was horrified to hear myself think "dude, do you just throw you shit on the ground like that? Why dont you pick that stuff up??" when i was chilling at my friend's places. Cry.
Being being in SD, gave me an UP FRONT realization of how much I had changed and grown since I had left. That was a serious trip, and it made me feel even more comfortable in my shoes. I had been there, and done that, and here i am now, doing what I gotta do.
I'll end this entry with that.
brb.
aight back. And so fresh and so clean.
So Cal Trip 2-17 to 2-19
Aight so the so cal trip. The trip down to OC was coo. but it was off to a rocky start when i failed to realize that it was presidents day weekend. Additionally, apparently it was also the beginning of "winter break" or some shit for kids, so the airport was EXTRA packed. So I got to the airport at 730AM on friday morning, hoping to get into my flight at 8am. Well, the security line went through the airport, up the ramps, into the parking lot, and zigzagged over itself FIVE times. It was like being at a shitty disneyland. So i miss my flight, and then I just barely get on the next one. I also have the pleasure of sitting next to the man with the fattest legs i have ever seen, which is interesting, because the rest of him was not fat. That sucks. I was in a rotten mood, mainly because I hadn't eaten, and so therefore, the only delight i found on the plane as I drifted into a pissed off sleep was hearing the little kids cry out in pain as we increased altitude. LOL. Jacked, huh?
Anyways, once i got to the OC, it was fine. I chilled with helen, and then met up with my good friend mike. It was awesome seeing them both. We chilled at south coast for a while, and then went to get some boba, waiting for traffic to die down. We then picked up minh, and we headed to this ramen place in anaheim (mike's secret spot). He said this was the best ramen place in U.S.A., and since this guy is pretty much a japanese guy in a white man's body (i.e. mike can speak pretty much fluent japanese, can read fluently as well, has a japanese girlfriend, has a japanese family over in japan (they "adopted" him)), and thus i trust his judgement when it comes to japanese food. Upon reaching the restaurant, he ordered for me, minh, and himself (cha-siu (sp?) pork ramen and a side of friend rice). He ordered us to drink the broth as soon as it came, and was a bit disappointed when we got our orders that the broth wasn't boiling hot. He noted that the broth tastes different everyday since it's homemade, and that we had come on maybe a B+ day. Anyways, the stuff was delicious. Absolutely delicious. It tasted a lot better than the crap back in the bay, and the crappy place in SD. Maybe I need to try other places, but the place on saratoga, and especially the place on convoy do not measure up.
Anyways, after that, we dropped minh off, and helen off at her car, and then off to mike's place. Mike lives with his grandma, who was gracious enough to let me crash at her phat pad. I got to stay in the guest room, and it had a FULL sized bed. This was bomb for two reasons: 1) I had been on my damn feet all day, and I had barely gotten any sleep the night before and 2) my bed at home is a fucking twin. There was one portion of my life where i had the wonderful experience to sleep in a full sized bed the majority of the time, but those days are long gone, and i'm once again stuck in a fucking twin sized bed. Bah. When i move out of my parents place, and i get a good paying job, i'm gonna buy myself a CALIFORNIA KING, JUST FOR ME, with 8000 thread count sheets. Yeah.
The next day, we headed down to SD. That was a trip and a half. I hadn't been to sd in many many months. I had nearly forgotten what it looked like. It was even better going down because I totally over it, meaning that now that i had gotten used to living in the bay, it was not a melancholy experience to visit SD. I didn't get to see a lot of people, but then again, i didn't exepect to. I did see bobby, DJ cham, george, randall, fiona, norm (thanks for the drinks homie), brian, JEN, neil, alan, leslie, christina, and the lo. It was tite. We ate dinner at this japanese restaurant i've never been to, then we went to typhoon, and I was immediately reminded of how much SD DJs suck. The night ended with going to Roberts #2, which was a flavor well-missed. I wish I had time to stay in SD longer, but it was a good enough taste.
The next day I headed back up to OC with mike, then chilled with helen until I had to go to the airport. It was good to see her.
Heading back home again, I was NOT surprised to find that my flight had been DELAYED. How delayed? Like an HOUR. This leads me to express a big FUCK YOU to southwest. While I was waiting in line way back in the beginning of the blog, I was surprised to see an American Airlines agent going up and down the line to grab people who had flights who were leaving soon and move them to the front of the line. Southwest said that was not their policy to do such things. Well FUCK YOU SOUTHWEST. That's the LAST time i'm flying on their broke-dick airline!! [broke-dick is slang courtesy of J. Quigz, aka Randall]
It was nice to be back home, as I've realized that living at home has made me a lot more clean that I used to be. I was horrified to hear myself think "dude, do you just throw you shit on the ground like that? Why dont you pick that stuff up??" when i was chilling at my friend's places. Cry.
Being being in SD, gave me an UP FRONT realization of how much I had changed and grown since I had left. That was a serious trip, and it made me feel even more comfortable in my shoes. I had been there, and done that, and here i am now, doing what I gotta do.
I'll end this entry with that.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
so the birthday activies were cool. I can now right about them, because now that's it's two days later, i no longer need to worry about it sounding like a "hey IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" kind of entry. Anyways, on friday, brendan, brian, mel, and jon (*EDIT: AND BRYANT THE WHINY KOREAN! LOL. love ya man!) took me out to this japanese restaurant. We got all kinds of food, and some rolls, and even some nigori sake. They fucking treated my sorry ass, and it wasn't cheap! But the food was great, and the company was even better. Some awesome pics were taken, and I had a great time. Thanks guys! Afterwards, we went back to jon's place and played some poker. I lost. No thanks guys! lol. Then on Saturday, Brendan, Andy, Bryant, and Jon came over to dinner. My mom cooked up some crazy foods: bbq'd teriyaki chicken, bbq'd marinated steak, inari sushi, broccoli, and a shitload of fried wontons. She also bought me a guava cake from Aki's. Damn. We all ate so much that we damn near passed out. If you wanna know how any of the food was, just ask anyone who came. Anyone else who DIDN'T COME IS NOT ONLY A BAD FRIEND, BUT MISSED OUT ON THE BEST MEAL EVER. JK. SORTA. JK. NO REALLY. LOLZ. Afterwards, we headed back to Jon's place, and then me, jon, and brendan went to santa clara billards to shot some pool. I am absolutely amazed at how much better jon is. This fucker used to take 20 minutes before taking a shot, taking out all kinds of graph paper, protractors, and his TI-85. Now he takes 2 seconds and then sinks all the balls in and your ego takes another shot to the face. All in all, a great birthday weekend. Lots of food, good conversation, and chillin'. Thanks to my friends up here for planning the dinner and poker game for me. You guys seriously make it possible to live up here without going insane.
valentine's day came and went. it was a regular day. What i did actually, was sit at home and count all the money i would have spent. Too bad that doesn't count for much...
Me: "Look at all this money! I'm rich, biatch!!"
Them: "I got laid last night"
Me: "=*("
Finally turned in all my paper work and stuff for graduation. It's finally starting to hit me that i'm going to be getting my masters in a few months. Well, that is, once i finish this HUGE project ahead of me. But yeah. Crazy. I guess after all is said and done, going to grad school was worth it. Actually, wait till I see how much I'm making for my first job, and then i'll let you know if it was worth it lolz.
Weird thing...I've come to the realization that at my age, there are two groups of people. Those who are single, and those who are dying to be married. Yes, people want to get married. A much stronger argument however, can be made about those that are taken vs those that are single. It seems that all the girls my age are taken, and all the guys my age are not. Or maybe it's just the people i know. And you would think, well, that's impossible, because is close to an equal number of guys and girls in the world. Well, maybe in the world, but ur forgetting two important details. One, in the bay area, guys outnumber girls at a staggering ratio of like 6:1. That fucking SUCKS. I'm not fucking kidding. Two, you're forgetting bout the hot lesbians. They can be in a relationship without a guy. And they're all hot. lol.
So looks like vegas is off. Oh wells. San diego? Maybe. OC for sure.
aight. time to go to the eye doc. i'm running out of contacts. And i need a haircut SO BAD.
valentine's day came and went. it was a regular day. What i did actually, was sit at home and count all the money i would have spent. Too bad that doesn't count for much...
Me: "Look at all this money! I'm rich, biatch!!"
Them: "I got laid last night"
Me: "=*("
Finally turned in all my paper work and stuff for graduation. It's finally starting to hit me that i'm going to be getting my masters in a few months. Well, that is, once i finish this HUGE project ahead of me. But yeah. Crazy. I guess after all is said and done, going to grad school was worth it. Actually, wait till I see how much I'm making for my first job, and then i'll let you know if it was worth it lolz.
Weird thing...I've come to the realization that at my age, there are two groups of people. Those who are single, and those who are dying to be married. Yes, people want to get married. A much stronger argument however, can be made about those that are taken vs those that are single. It seems that all the girls my age are taken, and all the guys my age are not. Or maybe it's just the people i know. And you would think, well, that's impossible, because is close to an equal number of guys and girls in the world. Well, maybe in the world, but ur forgetting two important details. One, in the bay area, guys outnumber girls at a staggering ratio of like 6:1. That fucking SUCKS. I'm not fucking kidding. Two, you're forgetting bout the hot lesbians. They can be in a relationship without a guy. And they're all hot. lol.
So looks like vegas is off. Oh wells. San diego? Maybe. OC for sure.
aight. time to go to the eye doc. i'm running out of contacts. And i need a haircut SO BAD.
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