Everyday, to and from work, I listen to the radio. Everything from npr to jazz to adult contemporary (106.5, 101.3) to oldies. I don't listen to hip hop on the radio because to quote Nas, "HIP HOP IS DEAD" (It really is. I'm just waiting for Tribe to come back so I can actually get some decent hip hop in my ears). I hear songs that are good and songs that straight up SUCK. I need to write down these songs so I don't forget who makes me happy to be off work, and who makes me want to jump kick my radio (difficult while driving)

Current songs that make you want to kick a sleeping puppy in the face:
1) Lily Allen - Smile
Any song that uses the same word in subsequent lines in order to rhyme ("Hm..what rhymes with 'smile'...? I know! 'Smile!') is beyond pathetic. You're supposed to be a musical artist that people pay money to see and you can't come up with a couple words that rhyme? Also, the tune sucks balls, and the rest of the lyrics aren't exactly Shakespeare either. Play this song while I'm in the car and I'll either a) jump out of the car head first b) throw you out of the car head first c) jump out of the car headfirst while throwing you out of the car headfirst with me, but I'll angle it so that you hit the ground first, while me closely behind, just so I can get the last laugh as we watch your car playing that shitty as song crash into a wall. I don't know what this song is about, I just know that the chorus is a joke when it comes to songwriting. It seriously sounds like a kindergarten student wrote it.
Seconds I can take before I change it: Up to the first line of the chorus (whatever that is)

2) Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry.
Fergie still hasn't come out with a song yet that has made me think she has an ounce of talent. Catchy beats with horrible lyrics do not mean you have talent. Seriously. I could get a polar bear drunk off 151 and it would still come up with lyrics that are better than any of the songs that Fergie has made. This one in particular is all over the radio and all over the internet. Awesome. People wonder why I listen to NPR. Is it because I want to be in tune with global issues, or is it simply because all music on the radio sucks more balls than Mr. Bucket? Or both.
Seconds I can take before I change it: The first lyric (10 seconds?)

3) Hinder - Lips of an Angel
Wow. This song FUCKING BLOWS. Who knew that you didn't have to be able to have a good singing voice to make it? This song sucks on so many levels I don't even know where to start. Let's see. First this guy's voice sounds like he just gargled with pebbles and razor blades. Really important when you're trying to sing an emo-rock song. That leads me to my second point. It's a fucking emo-rock song. WTF. Are you kidding me? Yeah cry me a fucking river. Third, this is a song about a guy talking to this girl and wishing she was his gf instead of the gf he has. Oh that's good. A good kosher song about the temptation to cheat. So lets go down the list. This is a shitty-voiced song about acting like an emo-rocker wuss who really wants his girlfriend to be replaced by this girl he's talking to on his pink hello kitty cell phone, probably because she busts his balls everyday by telling him to go to work and clean his room once and a while. This song is in the running for "Biggest POS song for 2007".
Seconds I can take before I change it: First word (0.5-1 second)

Songs that DECENT (when I say decent I mean not necessary something I like, but it's good enough so that it doesn't trigger my gag reflex...remember these are songs that are played on the radio (aka songs I don't pick))
1) Usually anything on 98.1 - Okay. Any station that plays funk is automatically awesome. Old school MJ, Zapp and Roger, Gap Band, SWEET. No complaints here!

2) Maroon 5 - Make Me Wonder
Sarcastic, angry lyrics. Catchy. Makes you want to sing along and add in the cuss words.

3) Fall Out Boy - This ain't a scene
Dear god, I hate to join the bandwagon full of teenage anst filled teeny boppers and whitewashed asians, but I can't deny the interesting lyrics and the good vocals. The catchiness of this song is disgustingly entertaining. Makes me want to put on a black blazer, black tshirt, paint my fingernails black and hate the world.

4) Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
Another good song. The vocals are good, but the message is better- if you're the kind of guy who thinks that it's okay to beat your gf/wife, you're a fucking piece of cowardly shit, and one day she's gonna walk out on your sorry ass. And I totally agree.

5) Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
You're going to think I'm a fru-fru SOB, but this song is just really good. Just this girl and her guitar. That's it. Lyrics aside (don't really super stand out), I think you'll find her style is extremely acoustically catchy, in the same way you find yourself singing along to "Home" by Michael Buble, and any of John Mayer's old school songs (the ones he now hates apparently).

Songs I wish I could hate, but I can't
1) Snow Patrol - that one that goes "If I lay here with you..blah blah blah"
Damn this stupid emo song. I used to hate it. Now I don't. Sucks.

Okay. Actually have some real work to do today. No time to finish this.

At the expense of sounding like a fru fru or a metrosexual, time to waste some work time by writing about clothes. I've been shopping a lot more since I got a job. That and after throwing out a good part of my wardrobe when I came back (realizing I was dressing like a bum...which lead to the "Great Salvation Army Donation of '04"), I've realized I need to make a wardrope for myself that makes me feel good when I'm stepping out. This doesn't apply to work however, since I work with software engineers, and thus dressing down is actually being above the standard.

Anyways, I'm diggin' on two different labels right now. Okay three.

1) Banana Republic - aight aight before you get all crazy with the "TYPICAL ASIAN GUY", "TOO MAINSTREAM" shit, you can't deny the fact that when you want clean cut casual look that won't take your wallet out back and tear it a new one, BR is the way to go. I'm not saying all their stuff is good, and a lot of the outfits they show are for 30-something white guys, but you can definitely take some of their basics, and use it to put together a decent outfit. Furthermore, their jeans are fucking top notch. I'd much rather throw down 78 bucks for a pair of their dark denim jeans than throw down hundreds for 7s or 10s or Humanity's or whatever the fuck those brands are called that make men's jeans that cost $200-$400, and then sit low on your waist and are so damn tight in the back you'll be wondering why girls are asking you for make up advice and why the big guy who just got out of jail is nodding as you walk by.

2) Club Monaco - people say my wardrobe lacks color. I admit, this is true. I would say that most of my wardrobe is black, white, grey, and dark blue. Thus, you can understand why this store is perfect. Everything in this damn store are those colors. The fashion here is either hit or miss. I'm either diggin on how something looks, or it looks like something a skinny rich goth emo kid would wear. The funny thing bout this store is that they'll usually have one item that's this hella bright color and your eyes will immediately jump to it since everything else is so damn droll.

3) DKNY - okay, as of right now I own one article of clothing by DKNY. I used to own two, but i got rid of that sad excuse for a pair of jeans long time ago. I recently saw some articles of clothing from the Fall 2007 collection and it looks good. You know how usually when you see shots from a fashion show the shit looks fucking fugly? I mean, the shit the models are wearing are the "concept cars" of the fashion world. I mean they can pull it off, because they're models, but JUST BARELY. It's the kind of clothes where if you took what they were wearing, threw it in on and walked outside, all you'd hear is "Wow I didn't know the circus was in town!". Not DKNY. The shots from the fashion show were awesome. The outfits were legit. How legit? Legit enough to make even ME look good, I bet. Okay. We went a little far with that last statement. Lets back it up a little. I don't want you to think that DKNY is capable of performing miracles or anything.

Unfortunately...I have very little style for the time being, and of course, I ain't rich. So the clothes shopping will have to wait as I work. I also am saving up to buy a house, which will take me roughly 5 more years. I kid. Sorta.

You know, I never thought in a million years I'd say this, but I dont think i'd mind eating this way for a while even after I get off this diet. I mean, not eating bread isn't a big deal. Neither is not eating sugar. I don't miss cereal very much, or oatmeal, or ice cream or all that. I think it's nice to have something sugary once in a while, like on a special occassion or something, but other than that, it's not a big deal. I definitely will want to be able to eat salad dressing/vinegar again. But to me, it's pretty much all about the convenience of it all. I mean, I want to be able to eat bread and sugar when i'm eating out. That's the real pain of this diet. I mean food is food. period. The other day I ate two bowls of salad with nothing on it. Just the raw fucking vegetables. At some point all food is is just a way for you to survive. There's definitely more to life than just eating.

I think even after I get off this fucking diet, I'm going to still not eat a lot of sugary foods, and I'm definitely not going to eat bread unless I'm eating out.

you ever ask the question if you're at where you're supposed to be?

Every time I hear about someone my age getting married, having a kid, making a shitload of money, I do.

Which it in itself probably isn't a good idea because I just read an article on CNN that said that thinking too much about shit is bad for you. That means bad news for me, but it's not like I can change that. Even if my life got super crazy and I barely had time to think, I know I would force myself to think about shit - while I was eating, driving, falling asleep, etc.

Anyways, am i where i'm supposed to be? I dunno. I hate questioning myself on that. Because if I don't feel like I am where I'm supposed to be, then I automaticallly think I'm a fucking child still, and I really dislike that.

So there's two ways I pretty much counter that train of thought:
1) I'm always where I'm supposed to be - due to my life's events, from a few years ago all the way to two seconds ago, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Fighting my position in life is both pointless and stupid.
2) Dance. As long as i'm gettin' down, nothing mentally touches me.

weekend in LA recap.

-45 minutes in a plane beats 6 hours of driving ANY day.
-Jon can stay up all night, be out cold, but wake up the instant the peanuts/drinks person comes by.
-Commerce has the worst poker players I've ever played with. Amazing. If you really want to turn pro and make some cash consistently every night, then you have to move to LA and play in Commerce. From what I've heard, not even Vegas has games that juicy. The only drawback is the place is ghetto and the surrounding area is even more ghetto.
-When doubletree takes over a hotel, they make it super legit. Seriously. Wsup neutrogena samples.

-Disneyland is cool. Sore legs, ankles, feet from walking all day are not . Not being able to eat sugar and gluten in Disneyland is like trying to eat a steak with no teeth.

California Adventures:
-Went to California Adventures for the first time. Went to the roller coaster (forget the name). That was cool/scary - I still don't like the dropping feeling in my stomach. The coaster went so fast that when I got off, my hair looked different. Awesome. I'd for sure go on that coaster again. The flying simulator was very cool - got a tiny bit queasy near the end, but it was fucking cool. Also a bit scary since you go up so damn high. And finally we have the elevator ride. That was NOT much fun. Dropping in pitch blackness is not what I consider fun. This is because I have a lightening quick reflex reaction to anything that my brain thinks is life threatening. And even though I KNOW i'm not going to get hurt, that I'm on a ride at the happiest place on earth, that I'm a grown ass man and not a child, my muscles still clench up and I'll close my eyes and bite down, etc. I hate it. It's very hard for me to relax on those kinds of rides. Anyways, the elevator ride was fucking scary. I still had fun (and almost broke my hand holding on to the metal bar), but I think I'll pass on that one for the rest of my life. I will say though that there was a moment when you're falling that you reach the fastest you're going to go..and at the point you feel like you're actually floating upwards...not THAT was cool...and that's probably why I wouldn't mind going skydiving.

Disneyland
-Went on Space Mountain for the first time since it opened up. Very cool. It seems longer, faster, and even more fun now that it's completely dark inside so you can't see where you're going. Awesome awesome awesome. I would go on this ride 3-4 times in a row if there was no line.
-Went on the buzz lightyear shooting ride. My score was 12,600. That is beyond pitiful. Jon's score was 266k and Brendan's was similar. Do you have any idea how weak my score was? That's like playing kickball with a bunch of 1st graders, and you wind up and kick the ball so weak that the fat kid who's playing catcher can waddle out, grab it, and throw you out before you're halfway to first. Sad shit.
-PDA in long lines are confusing. Why would you want to make out with your sig other in close quarters with a bunch of other people? It can't be because you're horny because if that was the case you'd probably be doing other stuff. So you have a longing to be all snuggly in front of other people because....? I don't get it. And let me tell you, if you're a guy, clearly a wanna be thug, and YOU'RE the one being snuggly with the girl (i.e. always holding her, rubbing your face against hers, etc.) all your "thug cred" is gone, and it just looks really weird. I guess even a thug need a hug from they bitches sometime.
-Speaking of pda, I went to get a turkey leg (6 bucks. and fucking HUGE). Good stuff. Anyways, I get my leg, turn around and there's a couple straight making out behind me. Kinda weird. Okay really weird. Why would waiting to get a turkey leg make you wanna make out? It's not like there was a line either. It was just me. Maybe it was like:
Girl: I'm hungry. I want some meat.
Guy: Shit girl, I'll give you some meat.
Girl: I love it when you get all romantic. Kiss me.
Guy: But we have like 20 seconds before we're next.
Girl: Kiss me or I'll tell all your thug friends you're gay.
Guy: Word.
- I gotta say that while everyone else was eating dinner (I was still full from the turkey), I went to go watch the nightly fireworks show. HOLY SHIT. I am not over exaggerating when I say that it was the best fireworks show that I've ever seen in my entire life. Like seriously. There were several kinds of fireworks that I have never seen before. The theme of the show was awesome, the music was awesome...EVERYTHING was awesome. Like...damn. I am being totally serious when I say that I would go back to disneyland JUST to see that fireworks show. It was amazing and nostalgic at the same time.
-Two words: Napkin noodles. Do work, son.
-Public bathrooms. Apparently you leave your dignity at the door. Let me tell you, once grown men step inside those stalls, it's NO HOLDS BARRED. From sounds that only the creator of those sounds should witness, to exhaled breaths that are abruptly stopped which indicate major pushing, I had to bite my tongue to keep from cracking up. Even better: while waiting for a stall, i witness this one mexican kid trying to find his cousin (he said primo to his friend, so I'm assuming he was yelling for his cousin). He then finds which stall his cousin is in, keeps yelling spanish, then at one point, gets down on the floor to look into the stall. LOL! I guess the conversating through the stall door got old and he wanted to talk to his cousin face to face/penis. THEN, he then goes to all the other doors (remember, this is AFTER he's established which stall his cousin is in) then he peaks into all the other stalls! wtf.
-It's a small world after all is nice for nostalgia (Brendan informed me that Walt Disney personally oversaw the creation of the ride...that made me have MUCH more respect for it) but that song will drive you NUTTY.
-The nemo ride. The nemo ride is better than the original submarine ride in the same way that a meal is better with parsley on the plate than it is without. We waited for close to two hours (it didn't feel that way because we were talking the whole time), and when we finally went on the ride, I was glad I went on it once, but it was NOT worth that kind of wait. I will say two things: 1) underwater screens and 2) wait only 20 minutes TOPS. If the wait is never that short, then get a waterproof lcd, load finding nemo into it, then sit in a swimming pool and watch it.
-If you want an alarm song that WILL wake you up, then may I suggest "When the saints go marching in". You'll turn off that shit in four notes.

And finally...
http://lukecompany.ytmnd.com/
(open in IE, not Firefox)

DAMN it felt good to go out dancing! I realized that I haven't been out dancing in so damn long. Finally got a chance to let it out last saturday. Went to Cardiff lounge for Ceech's bday.

Ugh. Cardiff. The place is normally cool because it has a nice hardwood floor (the old floor was old linoleum that had dips and curves in it that made it hazardous to dance on), and a decent sound system. However, it's small as shit, and thus gets quite cramped.

And saturday night was no exception. For some reason, it would get a little less crowded, and then around 1am, it would get super crowded again! I don't get it. Who goes to a club at 1am?? It's not even a club really (i.e. no dress code, no cover)..more like a bar with a dance floor. But whatevers. I had a great time dancing. It seemed like everything that usually keeps me from having a good session was gone, and everything that helps me have a good session was present.

Bad stuff gone:
-No Dancing with the Stars. I wasn't there with just dancers. Normally when I'm out dancing, it's usually cuz the ds players are having a social outing, or i might hit up an event where a lot of poppers, lockers, house dancers will show up. I hate to say it, but dancers..i mean like pro dancers...aren't exactly what you would call "friendly people". It's like being in a crew puts you in a upper echalon, an elite clique...and unless you yourself are at a similiar level (aka in a crew/team too), then you're seen as "<" (less than). You'll most often see this with hip hop dancers. But this is a generalization of course.. I've met some cool ass peoples (99% of the people on DS players (especially Dennis and Ceech...cool cats by far), Pharside and Jardy, the EBs (of course). Anyways, my point is, when i'm around all these dancers, I get damn nervous. Super nervous. So I can't dance. I think too much about my next move and how much I suck more than everyone else there. I think about how my best move is two huge steps below their worst move and how i'll be seen as a poser. But that night, I was there with other friends, and the club was filled with people who were obviously NOT dancers. I didn't feel as pressured, because the elite were mostly keeping to themselves. -No Battle Royale. Normally, popping is a solo dance. But I don't like dancing on my own with no one else. Reason being: that looks kinda weird. Like you came to the club by yourself. But then on the other hand, I don't like popping next to other people popping at the same time. Reason being: you don't see two people breaking at the same time, right? One goes, then the other goes. It's a battle. I prefer it because it also helps with the being nervous. But that night, I decided wtf and just did my own thing. I pretty much said fuck the battle for that night. I danced with my friends who came, but I really tried to just have fun and not worry about who I was dancing with and why or where and yeah. It was fun.

Good things that were present:
-Follow the leader. Usually when I practice at home, I'll watch a bunch of videos that show people dancing really well, be it popping, house, or even locking. It kind of pumps me up and gets me into this dancing mood. It's like watching michael jordan play basketball before you go play basketball yourself...it puts you in the right mindset. Almost like a mental warmup. Well, on Saturday, I spend the first hour just watching people jump in and out of the battle circle. Some of the best people were there, and so there was a wide variety of people in the circle. Some good, some really bad. There were some dancers who just looked so at ease..it wasn't even like they were trying...they were just smiling and having a good time. Seeing that really knocked me out of my overly-concerned perspective on dancing "well".
-Which leads me to my next thing, I actually had a good time while I was dancing. After watching all those people get down, I was just in this hightented dancing mood. So I went off to the side with some friends (more dancing room), and i just decided to just have a good time and not really think about what move I was going to do next. Man was it a lot easier! In fact, at one point, I was smiling. CRAZY. I NEVER smile when i'm dancing. Usually I look mad or super concentrated. But that was really easy because the music was really good. The DJ played mostly soulful/deep house all night, and most of the beats were really easy to dance to. Strangely enough though, I didn't keep to one style...it's like I was doing some sort of weird house-popping hybrid.

But man did I have fun. I don't think I've had that much fun dancing since I moved up here from San Diego.

This blog seems kind of pointless, but I'm writing it in hopes of remembering how that night was in order to recreate it next time I hit the dance floor.

In life, the only person you can ever truly rely on, is yourself. There is no sadness behind that statement, because it's simply the honest unconscious truth.

it's only when you're made conscious of how true it is is there any sadness.