If i could beat up any animated character, cartoon or anime wise,

i think i would pick...jerry (from tom and jerry), or any of jerry's relatives (his strong cousin, his bitch ass white mouse cousin, etc.). I always felt hella bad for Tom getting jacked by Jerry and then getting jacked by his owner.

Then after I kicked Jerry's and his family's ass, i'd go outside and kick the living SHIT outta that dog that always beat up Tom. That bitch ass bitch dog. WTF. You get your rocks off by chewing on defenseless cats? I'll beat the kibbles and bits outta you. And dont hink your punk ass kid is safe either. I'll punt that punk to the moon.

Another meaningless post! =D

k you guys remeber that kid's song about eating worms? It goes like this...

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
I guess i'll go eat worms.

and that's about as far as I get before I start laughing. Dude, WHAT THE FUCK. No one likes you SO YOU GUESS YOU'LL GO EAT WORMS? HAHAHA!!! How fucking RANDOM is that??? That's like saying

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
I guess i'll do some math.

What the hell does eating worms have to do with no one liking you?

The darker side of this song is maybe it's insiunating a connection with substance abuse. you dislike yourself so you turn to drugs. But that STILL doesn't make any sense because at least if you were to take drugs you'd get some sort of high and feel better. But WORMS would just taste like SHIT!

I have seriously been laughing while writing this whole entry. That song is beyond random and does not make any sense to me. I will say it again.

WHY WOULD YOU EAT WORMS IF NO ONE LIKED YOU? How bout working out? or buying some new toys or video games??? How bout getting some new clothes? That could win you some friends, but I DONT THINK EATING WORMS WILL.

Moral the story: Kids are stupid.

LOL. LOLZ ROFLMAO WTF BBQ.

some days i find no inspiration to write. Then some days it hits in the face with no warning.

First off, I was watching P. Diddy's "bad boys of comedy", a series on hbo. This show is like any other stand up comic show, except they can say bad words cuz it's on pay per view. And even though the viewer is forced to see p. diddy every show (wtf is he doing on the show anyways. he's not funny. and he can't dance either. Not that that has anything to do with comedy, but when you dance as bad as p. diddy, it makes everything you do seem dumber.). Anyways, there was this one comedian, big black guy, making jokes about how fat he was. I will not repeat the bit he did, because there is no way I want to take away from the funniness of it, but OMFG. I was laughing SO HARD. I have not LAUGHED THAT HARD in a LONG ASS TIME. I laughed SO hard that my eyes were pouring with tears, and the next day my abs were sore as FUCK. Then for days afterward, every time i thought of the bit, or said it out loud, i would crack up. Holy shit that was some funny shit.

Anyways, to the real reason for writing is for my 15 minute review of the movie "Jersey girl". This movie stars ben affleck, george carlin, and some little girl as ben's daughter. I have no idea what this movie is about. How little do i know? Well, i can't tell you the names of any of the characters, what the major plot crisis is, who the love interest is. Anyways, from the 15 minutes that i saw the movie I immediately thought, "bullshit!!!". Why? Two big reasons (I would have more, but I only saw 15 minutes).
1) No one would have an "awkward moment" with their friend when both of their emotions come out after a push. wtf. "just friends, right?" "right".
2) the bigger reason: So ben gets an interview for some firm in new york city. But he currently lives in new jersey with unknown little girl at his dad's, george carlin. Anyways, ben gets all happy and tells them all that he's gonna get a job there and they're gonna move back to new york city. Unknown little girl (ULG) then says she doesn't wanna go and says she doesn't want to move back there and throws a fit. BULLSHIT. If a parent worked as HIGH WAY WORKER (i think that's what he does), and he gets the opportunity to move to some city to get a job that pays a lot more, well...okay fuck that whole reasoning. I'll make it simple. Parent wants to move because of important financial reasons. Tells kid they're going to move. Kid complains. Parent says too bad. Kid complains some more. Parent offers if the kid would like to get a job scooping shit so that they an pitch in for the cost of living. Kid moves happily to new city and HANDLES it cuz that's what REALITY IS LIKE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!. LOL!!! Anyways, I've never moved (25 years in shitball san jose), but i would think that if your parents wanted to move due to FINANCIAL REASONS (dad or mom can get a much better job), then you SHUT YOUR FACE AND YOU HANDLE IT cuz WHO IS SUPPORTING YOUR ASS??? Yeah, ULG, YEAH! GET YOUR ASS OFF THE FLOOR CUZ YOU'VE BEEN SERVED!!! SERVED!!! SERVED !!! SERVED!!!

And finally, I will end with a joke said by Nick Dapalo (sp?) at Comedy Central's Roast of Pamela Anderson. He had just finished talking about how he used to masteurbate to her on baywatch every day onto his TV screen. "I used to wack off so much on your face I thought the only way I'd recognize you in public is if you had just smashed a glazed donut all over your face"

btw, i JUST got the joke. "I just flew in from ____ and boy are my arms tired." It's not that i didn't get the joke, it's that i didn't think about it and then like....ah fuck it...yeh i'm stupid. =P

Poppin' Robin is not a cool poppin' name because it has nothing to do with me.
Funkface is a much better poppin name for me but Jon already took that one.

jumping the gap is a huge task. it racks u mentally, physically, and emotionally. the positive side of it is that it's a learning experience. The negative side of it is that sucks ass.

everyone xangas and blogs about how it's gonna be hard and all that, but you all have no idea.

for those of you who know what i'm talking about, you probably understand and are nodding your head.
for those of you who don't, you're probably shaking your hand and drooling with your tongue out.
okay, those are two words i hate typing because I always mistype them.
tongue. which someone always turns into tounge
toilet. which turns into toliet
quiet. which turns into quite.

Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation (JXL Remix). [it HAS to be the remix. you'll probably remember this song from Ocean's 11, starting The Exception aka B. Pitt]

Why is B.Pitt called "The Exception"? Because he is the one man alive who none of the typical guy rules apply to. Yes, Brad can walk into a club and point at a girl and she will dance with him immediately and she will sleep with him too. Yes, Brad can do the "backdoor surprise" on the dance floor and the girl will not only be happy about it, but she will dance with him all night long. Yes, Brad can wear anything. Yes, Brad can not shave and no girl will be bothered by it. Yes, Brad can star in real girly movies and still be considered the bad ass from "Fight Club". Yes, Brad can go out with a hot girl, and then go out with a hotter girl, while that first girl has no choice but to move down because Brad is at the top. This is the kind of man to be put on a pedestle. And that's why Brad Pitt is awesome. I love you Brad!!! (in a totally non-gay way!! Well, maybe a little...lol)

When i went to Japan, there's this city called Nara. Nara has a lot of deer. The deer roam the streets and stuff because there are laws against hurting them. They sit by this guy that sells rice crackers that are to be bought for the sole purpose of feeding the deer. They sit. and they sit. Then when they see a stupid tourist (i.e. me) buy the crackers, they immediately bum rush him (i.e. me) in an attempt to eat his (i.e. me) hand off to get to the crackers. Then the tourist must throw the crackers away from him in order to keep his hand and to look stupid in front of all the locals, who giggle incessantly.

Why bring up this example? Well, I figure that if i ever got the chance to meet the aforementioned b. pitt, I would have to shake his hand without letting the hordes of woman around see me do so. For if i did, i'm pretty sure they would be like the deer, and would wait till I let go of his hand and bum rush me. They woud try and lick and eat my hand because it just touched the aforementioned b. pitt. And having your hand eaten off, no matter how hot the girl is, would suck.

And that concludes my wasting of five minutes of your life.

No you cannot have them back.

you wanna be mushy on ur xanga/blog. fine. you wanna put endless quotes and stories about how much you love your bf. fine. you wanna cover the entire front and back and left and right with pics of you and him. fine. you wanna make your xanga vomit inducing. fine.

but dont put pics of your bf half naked!!! Dude no one wants to see that shit!!!

And yes i'm saying this cuz i'm attractiveness-challenged and yes i'm saying this cuz i'm more singles than Kraft (oh my, how witty!) and yes i'm saying this cuz (see last post, first part)

Why does pepsi one exist when diet pepsi is around. Like one calorie is gonna make a difference.

omg, the strawberry festival is tomorrow. STRAWBERRIES. Perhaps they will have strawberry ice cream. PERHAPS. Strawberries are like a "special occassion" type of fruit, cuz when you have them, you KNOW it's gonna be a party in your mouth (or in your pants if you really like them). I mean, you always have apples and oranges and bananas around, but how often do you have strawberries? And lemme tell you, people NEVER have strawberries at breakfast time in their cornflakes like how it shows on the box. I remember when i was kid eating those bland ass cornflakes I used to be like, "damn look at the box. hella strawberries. I want strawberries." but NO!

my tire fucking split apart while I was driving in the fastest lane of 280.

I had my music up loud. And then all of a sudden my steering wheel starts shaking like crazy in my hand. Then it starts vibrating so hard my hands almost go numb.

so I quickly pull over, and I open my door and i smell it immediately. TIRE FUNK.

I look look at the back tire and it's flatter than a _______________ (Enter something that you think is flat. Be creative)

And it's hella torn apart. Like SUPER FLAT.

Good thing i know how to change a tired. I put the donut on. And off I went. Now I gotta get new tires cuz i know driving on this thing isn't smart. Man why dont they make spare tires regular tires!!

Now i'm all paranoid cuz I'm worried that people who see me driving will think "Damn look at that ghetto ass mother fucker with three real wheels and one donut wheel" And yes they will drive around my entire car so they can think that.

So I bought this new trance CD cuz i haven't bought trance in forever and a day..and I got to listening it.

And that got me to thinking how i still haven't gone to my 'last' rave.

So then I thought I'd go to this because I really like the Skills DJs (Dyloot and Tom Slik)




And then I can do some of this..


Pre-photon days (this was...2000?) BTW, notice J-Pop in the back doing his thang.

And see some of this...


wow. His arms must be tired


CHEATER. If you ain't using your arms, you're CHEATING.

Yes. Finally. A rave. Tickets are going on sale soon. Who wants to come with? Time to make sure all my photons are working right. And make sure my arms wont' fall off. I remember back in the day the day after I would go to a rave my knuckles would be all black and blue from the photons hitting them. I never realized how fast I was moving my hands until I went to this one rave where the dance floor was surrounded my mirrors. That was the rave that was at this bowling alley out in the middle of nowhere. I remember that rave cuz hella aphio people went, I saw the dopest glowsticker ever, and Sarah hugged the sweatiest guy ever.

ah the good old days.

raves were always about the dancing. no hate on the prescription users -- just not my thang. Yes, before I learned how to dance to hip hop, before I decided to learn how to pop, it was all about raving. Glowsticks, rave dancing, and photons. I tried the stings, but then I hit myself in the balls and I decided to keep it simple. Raves were always so much fun, and we always had the same routine: Go in and chill for 45 minutes just listening to the music, and then dance, then go outside to cool down, then repeat for 6 hours. The music was awesome, the company was awesome, and it was first time that i felt alive on the dance floor.

I never really understood all the kids that decided to dress up as Tigger or Rainbow Bright, or cover themselves in beads, or give themselves rave names (there are no parents who would name their boy "Cloud" or "Whisper" ...this ain't the 60s)

Nevertheless, I'll never forget how much fucking fun I had at those raves. My mom would hate it when I went..I know ur thinking, dude why did you tell her?? But when I would hit up a rave when i was back in SJ, these raves would go till like 4 or 5 AM!! I had to tell my mom where I was going. My friend told her mom that she was going on a church retreat, and another friend told his mom that he was going bowling (till 5am). I remember when I would get home from those raves I would smell so bad (hey you would stink too if you were dancing for 7 hours in a giant room with a bunch of people who are sweating, smoking, and covered in vic's vapor rub) that I would strip down to my boxers and throw all my clothes in the back yard to air out before I put a foot on the carpet.

Aight. enough reminsicing. Back to the final (again).